


Facing Inner Demons

by JadeSphera



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, star wars AU - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Complicated Relationships, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Jedi Academy AU, Jedi Training, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 14:44:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 50,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15798681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeSphera/pseuds/JadeSphera
Summary: Mara decides to complete her training at Yavin IV's Academy, to Luke's surprise.Set before 'Specter of the Past'.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English in not my first language, so please go easy on me.  
> Constructive feedback on my grammar will be welcomed.
> 
> This is the FIRST Fan Fic I've ever writen.  
> Reviews are welcome. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> I do not own Star Wars. I'm not making any profit out of this. I do this only for fun!

 

The darkness had started to disperse. The indigo sky and dimly lit starts were still showing, giving their last good bye to the ending night. The ship came down on the landing platform, the one distinctive structure among the denseness of the jungle. The quiet, the stillness of the first hours of the morning softly waned as soft and distant noises from waking life forms could be heard.

The ramp of the Jade’s Fire came down and Mara Jade – fierce red hair blowing in the soft wind, stepped out the ship and walked down it. A robed figure waited at the end of the platform. It was not him, the one she came to see.

“Welcome to Yavin IV.”  Streen greeted slightly bowing his head.

“Hi Streen.” Mara greeted back ignoring the protocol. HE wasn’t here. Why hadn’t he felt her presence?

They headed down towards the main buildings. The massive stone structures of the Massassi now held the headquarters and training facilities of the Jedi Order.

“The shipment came in early. We weren’t expecting it until one more standard week.” Streen pointed out walking alongside her.

“You needed the supplies badly, didn’t you?”

“Oh, yes,” he assured her. “But we could have waited for them, though. To come in with the regular cargo.”

“Well, then consider yourselves lucky that Karrde holds your Jedi Master in such high esteem,” Mara said with her usual coolness “Where is he anyways?”

“Master Skywalker is meditating.”

“Meditating?” that didn’t explain it, “Thought most people should be sleeping at this hour.” She gave Streen an inquisitive look.

“He’s in the Main Gym, but he’s not to be disturbed at the moment. I can show you to your quarters in the meantime, so you can get cleaned up and rest for a while. Maybe join us for breakfast later on? I suppose you’re staying.” Mara pressed her lips together at his insinuation. “At least until the cargo is unloaded and your ship is ready to go?” Streen added. “That should take most of the day.” She relaxed a bit.

Mara didn’t like this. What was with Skywalker ignoring her like that, having one of his subordinates to meet her? Weren’t they beyond that?

“I think I’ll see _Master_ Skywalker now. Thank you.” and she headed to the Main Gym, ignoring Streen’s reasoning about why the Master shouldn’t be interrupted. Not that it made any difference.

She reached the Main Gym’s entrance and put her hand on the door panel, it silently slid open.

She walked into the room, the door closing behind her, and stood there for a moment. What an atmosphere! A golden glow was starting to bathe the walls and columns as the first rays of early morning light crawled into the large room, coming through the tall large windows and high ceiling domes. It was if like Yavin IV’s jungle became one with this sole space, the quietness, the stillness… No wonder he liked to meditate here at this particular time of the day.

No sign of him, although she could feel his presence clearly in there. She gave a few steps forward and noticed a hint of movement in the mid-section of the room. Almost lost in the vast chamber, a white clad figure and a humming gleaming white-green blade moved softly, slowly, like in a graceful dance. He wore only a pair of white loose pants, almost waltzing on bare feet.

 _‘Feeling comfortable today Skywalker? And wearing white for a change!’_  Mara thought to herself, afraid of speaking out loud and so breaking the spell he seemed to cast with his lightsaber dancing.

He didn’t seem to notice her at all.

Mara watched as Luke moved with and unhurried pace, quietly, almost delicate, executing every movement, every lightsaber combat stance, with incredible accuracy and expertise. No wonder he was so feared and respected as a swordsman. If she could only manage to achieve half of Skywalker’s skill. She hadn’t yet. Not that she lacked the ability, she just hadn’t put the time into it, but this was about to change. That’s why she was here now.

She stopped her musings and gave her whole attention back to him, who still hadn’t given any signs of noticing her presence.

 _‘How odd.’_  Mara thought, frowning to herself.

He kept working with his lightsaber. His foot work was impeccable, keeping slow, rhythmic movements. The humming of the lightsaber and his calm breathing being the distinctive noises of the moment. There was more to it, Mara noticed. He was sweating, and the moisture on his body added a sparkly glitter to his tanned skin accentuating the shapes of his body. What a nice body that was. Indeed, Skywalker hid toned strong muscles underneath those Jedi robes. Mara was staring at him, unable to take her eyes off his lean body. Watching every muscle of his body move, stretching and contracting as each exercise progressed. It was… almost sensual.

 _‘Just stop it. Would you?’_  Mara scolded herself, _‘What are you thinking?’_

Of course, Jedi could have muscles. They not only took care of their minds, but also their bodies. She was pretty fit herself. And knowing Skywalker, with his dedication to his Jedi Order and the perfection he wanted to achieve so badly, it was no wonder he would keep himself in such a good shape. She just had never noticed it, that was all. But what a nice surprise it was. A smirk showed on her face.

 _‘Stop it!!! He’ll notice!’_ Why was she acting like this? Maybe all that space travel had taken its toll on her already. She was just tired. Yes, that was it. Plain exhausted.

Luke had closed down his lightsaber now. Standing still in the middle of the room, eyes closed. Suddenly he leaped forward stepping on one of the walls. Then pushing himself sideways he started leaping from column to column in an upward spiral, climbing to the top of the room. When he reached de top, he pushed himself backwards into the emptiness, in a horizontal movement. Reaching the middle, he stopped and suspended himself there, like lying on a soft bed made of air, arms and legs spread open. And he lay still, floating. Mara held her breath in astonishment at what she was just witnessing.

He was levitating way up there, she just never knew it could be done like that. With a swift, sudden movement Luke pulled himself up and forward and changed his position to a standing one, with his arms still spread open, but his legs close together. And he stayed there in his new vertical position, the light coming into the room gleaming on him. It felt like time and space had stopped like in a holo picture. After a few moments he turned his palms upwards and started his descent.

He left himself gently float down until his feet touched the ground. He relaxed and opened his eyes. The room was full of daylight now he noticed, and then…. the presence… HER presence! He looked sideways and there she was, standing a few meters away, with a strange look on her face. She wore an expression he couldn’t quite read now that she had instantly put up her mental barriers. Oh, how she loved to do that to him.

Luke walked towards her, on his way grabbing a towel and a robe that lay on a small table nearby and setting his lightsaber there. Mara watched him approach. Stars! He looked even better this close!

“Hi Mara! You’re early!” greeted Luke drying his face with the towel.

“Yes. I’ve been told,” she snorted “So, this is what you call meditating?” she pointed out, obviously aware that what she had just witnessed had nothing to do with meditating while trying to hide the awe in her voice.

“Sort of…” Luke answered giving her a lukewarm smile, ignoring her sarcasm and noticing Mara’s veiled reaction to what she had just witnessed.

“That’s what I would call raw use of the Force.” Mara composed herself.

“Not raw,” Luke pointed out “A controlled handling of it I would call it.”

“Mmmh…” Mara grunted in disapproval sitting down on one of the mesh stools nearby. “Be careful of not leaning too much on the dark side when you pull out tricks like those!” she finished, half scolding him, half worrying about him, half trying to make it sound like casual conversation.

“I don’t call on the dark side to do this,” Luke protested feeling like he was being accused of something, while putting on his robe. “That’s why is so hard to do. If I were to pull on the dark side I could do it with a simple snap of my fingers. Since I’m NOT doing THAT, it pretty much takes all of my attention and energy to be able to do it. That’s why I didn’t sense your arrival. When I try this sort of new exercise I can only be there, right in the moment, my full use of the Force focused on it. I have to disconnect myself from everything around me and that’s why I only do it when I know that I’m in a perfectly safe environment,” he explained. “Not that it will be like that once I master It.” he finished with a chuckle of self-pride.

“See, that’s what I’m talking about. You’re bragging! You were like flying out there! You’re doing this for personal gain and satisfaction.”

“No, I’m not! Mara, please,” he sat down next to her “If trying to extend my knowledge of the Force might appear to you that I’m relying on the dark side then tell me, how am I supposed to teach others what The Force is if I don’t experience it myself? If I don’t experiment with it? Not that I’ve had much help in my own training, with the numerous teachers I’ve had around.” He finished with sarcasm and a hint of sadness in his voice. After a small pause he vehemently continued “I’m not doing this for personal gain. I’m doing it because it must be done. I’m not harming anybody, not myself in doing so. And I’m certainly not using the dark side... maybe at times just touching some points in between light and dark, but I can handle that.”

“Yes, I know!” she rolled her eyes. “You’ve had to teach yourself most of what you know, if not everything! But still…”

“Don’t worry Mara,” he interrupted “I won’t turn to the dark side”.

She kept silent for a few seconds. “That’s what you said when that dreaded clone showed up, and then started dabbling with the dark.” Mara said slightly showing some anger and fear in her voice. Luke shivered at the mention of Palpatine’s clone.

“I didn’t turn to the dark side then, and I don’t plan to do it any time soon,” Luke answered in a firm tone of voice “Or ever”.

“Fine.” Mara said, letting it go. For now.

They sat there for a moment, staring at each other. Luke turned with a sigh, silently looking away through the windows.

“I brought all the stuff you needed. You have to thank Karrde for getting them in so fast.” Mara started in a casual way, letting her feelings wash away. “He says hi, by the way.”

“Thanks.” Luke said simply, still looking away. He turned to face Mara, sensing there was something there “And...?”

“And…” she was going to say it! “I took leave from work… and I’m planning to complete my training.” She finished.

Luke’s face lit up.

“Good! Great! That’s… fine!” When in space he thought he was going to see this day! He tried to compose himself after the shock Mara’s news had given him. “We’ll start right away,” he was all business now “I’ll arrange with the regular instructors…”

“You’re doing it again!” Mara interrupted quite upset.

“What am I doing again?” Luke asked a bit confused.

“ _Farmboy_ , I didn’t come here to train with other Jedi. I came here to be trained by you. You are the best and you are the one I want to be trained by.”

That took Luke completely by surprise. Mara Jade admitting that she wanted to receive his training was quite a shocker.

“Oh!” he managed to say “I just though…”

“Thought what, Skywalker?”

“Well, just thought that getting trained by different teachers would give you a richer experience. I didn’t know you weren’t O.K. with it. You should have told me…”

“I’m telling you now.”

“And…” this was going to be hard to say, “I also thought that, since we don’t seem to agree most of the time, we would have been saving ourselves a lot of arguing if we didn’t spend time training together.” There, he had said it.

She looked at him straight in the eye.

“Well, it seems like arguing time is up.” she smiled.

“Fine with me.” he said with a mixture of relief and eagerness. “I’ll do the arrangements. It will be my pleasure to finish your training Mara.” He finished as he took her hand.

“So, how’s it gonna be?” Mara asked releasing her hand from Luke’s soft hold.

“Well, we’ll be dedicated to your training full time, from dawn to dusk. If it’s not too much for you.” Luke told her in an amused, challenging tone.

“It’s not.” She calmly answered. “Is it for you?” Mara challenged back.

“No.” Luke slowly shook his head and smiled at her, he was never going to see the day when he just won one on her. “It’s set then.” He simply added.

“See you tomorrow Skywalker.” She smiled back at him, stood up and walked towards the door.

“That’s why you didn’t stay before, right? Having different teachers…” he called out.

“Yes, in part.” She answered simply without turning. “And you, ignoring me.” Callista being a huge par of his ignoring her.

“We’ll do it different this time.” he assured her.

She nodded.

“We’ll start early.” Luke called standing up, his open robe letting his skin show.

Mara turned and gave him a quick up and down look.

“Can’t wait.” She gave him a roguish smile and left the room leaving a puzzled Luke behind.

 

oOo

 

What in the Force had just happened? Luke wondered while changing his clothes once in his quarters. What had made Mara Jade change her mind about her training? She seemed so reluctant to finish with it and suddenly she had changed her mind. Well this was Mara, always unpredictable Mara. And she wanted to be trained by him and only him. His heart was racing, and not precisely out of exercising.

He would worry about this later. For now, he still had a full day of work ahead of him, starting with his early morning run. He headed outside the buildings and made his way into the awaking jungle.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

The first sounds of morning announced the beginning of the new day, faint humming from creatures of different species starting their everyday competition for survival. Birds, mammals, reptiles… some other species that hadn’t even yet been classified could be heard around the Praexeum. The planet was teeming with life indeed.

Luke was awake before his alarm went off. Staring at the ceiling he noticed the small particles of dust floating in the soft beams of light that came in through the windows. The light was very dim since it was still early. He laid there in bed for a few moments, wondering why he was feeling so anxious. He got out of bed and jumped into the shower. He was going to need another one later on, but a shower always cleared his mind… and he needed to be sharp today indeed. Letting the water run through his body rinsing the lather he had on, he noticed some familiar small scars that showed on one of his sides, old scars that hadn’t been healed through a Jedi healing trance leaving the marks and memories linked to them, left to be shown forever. He wondered if Mara had a few scars of her own… he shook his head briskly ‘ _Where did that just come from?_ ’ He finished rinsing, closed the water and stepped outside the shower grabbing a towel on his way out. He dried himself and wrapped the towel around his waist.

Standing in front of the sink he looked at his reflection on the mirror. Time had changed him, he wasn’t the naïve, wide eyed farm boy he was some years ago. He had seen and been through a lot –maybe through too much, he sometimes thought. His life had given innumerable sudden turns. He had learned to put his trust in The Force and to let himself be led by its will and trust its wisdom, although many times he couldn’t see beyond. Years had given him the patience he lacked from in the early years of his training. A journey that had started with Obi-Wan and continued with Yoda… later a journey he had been forced to face on his own, alone. The last years hadn’t been easy, always wondering whether he was on the right path or not, wondering if this was the way the New Jedi Order should be run. And during the last number of years Mara had been a steady presence in his life, a constant voice in his head, his conscience. The one that knew what the dark side was all about. The one that would never give him bantha crap. When it came to Mara he wasn’t sure what the Force was telling him, it was like it went mute –or him deaf. The beautiful, strong, independent Mara Jade. He could trust her with his life, and he knew her trust towards him was about the same. They had pulled each other from the brink of death too many times already. She had been his first apprentice back in Wayland.

‘ _Mara…_ ’ he smiled at the thought of her name. Grabbing the edges of the sink he turned his head down. Of course, he knew exactly where this came from, these feelings towards her, but he couldn’t let himself…. He couldn’t even let himself think the words! Why was she here now? Now that he felt so vulnerable. Yes, this was bad timing.

He got himself ready, today wearing comfortable clothing -pants, sleeveless shirt, over tunic and calf boots, in his usual blacks. Standing in front of the main door of his quarters he closed his eyes and took a deep breath… and slowly let the air out. He hit the door panel and it slid open. Checking for his lightsaber to be attached to his belt he stepped into the corridor and headed towards the Main Gym where he was appointed to meet her.

The corridors of the Academy were just starting to show some activity. Greeting the occasional teacher or student he walked with steady stride keeping his pace. He was slightly aware of a group of droids doing their first hour cleaning routine as he passed by, but this morning his mind was somewhere else, thinking about the immediate chore ahead: Mara’s training. He hadn’t had much time to think about it the day before with him going through all his normal activities at the Academy and arranging some others in order to be free for Mara. He hadn’t had a chance to see her either, both busy with their own matters.

He reached the Main Gym and went inside. Mara was already there, doing some stretching exercises. She was wearing simple dark red pants and a tank top.

“Morning,” Luke greeted her, taking off his black over tunic revealing the sleeveless black garment underneath.

“Hey there!” she answered back, still working on her stretches.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he invited her.

“I’m ready now,” she smiled.

“All right,” he walked to the center of the room igniting his lightsaber. She followed. “We’ll start with you attack forms,” Luke instructed her “I’ll block. You may start when ready.”

Mara set off with the drill. As he parried, Luke could see the determination on her face, could feel the decisiveness in her sense. This time it was for real; she was really going to see this through, the ending of her training. He could see the fire in her eyes, those stunning and expressive emerald eyes. Her hair was done in a tight bun and some red flocks had started to fall loose with the physical motion, framing her perfect face. She was a physically strong woman, despite her small frame, he mused, as they moved around the room exchanging blows. All those years of imperial training had given her a slender, agile, balanced, nicely shaped body, combined with her natural grace. Despite all the fitness, Mara had a woman’s body. Why had she had to be this tempting, this beautiful? For the Force’s sake! He was a Jedi Master! While instructing a padawan he wasn’t supposed to make the differences between male and female… but with Mara…

‘ _Skywalker! Keep working!’_ Luke told himself. _‘Blast! I’m even scolding myself like she does!_ ’

“Skywalker!” Mara’s voice dimly registered in Luke’s mind, snapping him back to reality. She was standing before him “Aren’t you supposed to counter attack when I move towards you like this?” Mara sarcastically inquired, “Or is this a new move you haven’t talked to me about?” she finished.

“Uuhh?” was all Luke managed to answer.

“Day dreaming is not good when playing with lightsabers, you know…” she pointed the tip of her lightsaber right at his nose.

“I’m sorry,” Luke excused himself “I’m just a bit distracted this morning.”

“Well, don’t be.” Mara said back “I want to complete my training… and don’t want to spoil it by cutting my Master in half!” She added sardonically.

Suddenly coming out of his inner dialogue, Luke’s attention was on Mara’s attitude “Feeling cocky this morning Jade?” Luke said in an amused tone “Time to try something new then.”

He stepped back slowly and swung his lightsaber a couple of times, “Now, let’s see how you block.” He struck forward forcing Mara to parry his blows.

“Remember the best offensive is a good defensive,” he instructed. “Keep your grip steady.”

Mara did as she was told, and successfully parried every blow. She liked it that Luke didn’t patronize her, one more reason why she wanted to be instructed by him. She knew he would push her beyond her limitations, but he’d be fair to her while doing so. He wouldn’t hurt her, never. Honor was in every single cell of his being, the good old farm boy.

Suddenly Mara missed a blow and was forced to throw herself backwards, rolling over one of her shoulders and standing up right back.

“A bit out of shape, aren’t we?” Luke teased.

“Not in a million light years,” she challenged back.

“Now I want you to counter attack.”

“My pleasure,” Mara answered directing a blow towards Skywalker.

Luke blocked her attack and answered with one of his own. They kept their practice on, blades humming and sparks throwing out at every contact.

“And you call this new? I thought you had better tricks up your sleeve than these, _Farmboy_!” Mara mocked him while swinging her blade towards him.

Luke smiled, blocking her blow effortlessly, _‘You want to see something new?’_ Swiftly he switched the grip on his lightsaber and caught Mara’s lightsaber handle with his own disarming her and sending her lightsaber flying, leaving Mara with an astonished expression on her face that quickly turned into one of annoyance at herself. “Told you to watch your grip,” he pointed out closing down his lightsaber.

The match was over. She was panting, and Skywalker wasn’t even sweating! Rodders! Maybe she had a long way to go after all. She felt a bit strained.

Luke noticed, “Don’t feel bad Mara, you’ll get better with time,” he told her sympathetically, clipping his lightsaber to his belt. “I do this every day,” he added. “Come here, I want to show you something” he gestured her towards him with his arms.

Mara approached, and Luke turned her back to him and stood behind her. Using the Force Luke called Mara’s lightsaber back to his hand and put it in hers. “Ignite your lightsaber,” he told her handing the weapon to her. The white-blue blade came into existence.

He moved closer to her “This can be tricky; I need you to close your eyes.” Mara turned her head and gave him an odd look “Just do it,” he said in a soft voice. Mara turned away and did as she was told. “Hold it with both hands… the blade high…” Mara followed. “Now, raise your right arm… hold it... shift you weight… and lower the blade…” Luke held her by the waist, helping her keep her balance “Good… do you feel that? Do you notice the tightness in your back is gone now?” Mara nodded. “Using your right leg, step back…” he moved with her. “Don’t drop your shoulders,” he gently arranged her left elbow. “I want you to feel your own body… and… open your eyes… see where the blade goes? How it is positioned in relation to your body?” she nodded again. “From this position you can come out in any fighting form you wish to use,” he pointed out.

She was somehow paralyzed, like in a trance, induced by Luke’s words and proximity. She wasn’t even sure if her brain was registering anything that Luke was saying. She could feel her heart’s strong beating; she could smell his soapy scent –what a nice, clean smell…

Luke kept his hands on her waist. They were so close to each other that he could feel the warmth of her body, the loose locks of her hair gently rubbing against his face. For a moment he was tempted to lay his chin on her shoulder, though he stopped himself from doing so. He felt the size of her waist in his hands, he didn’t want to let go. “These are very subtle things Mara, but when you master them you’ll be unstoppable” he whispered in her ear, trying to come back to the lesson. Luke suddenly realized that he was holding Mara too close to his own body. Something in his brain clicked and he let go, giving a few steps back. “We’re done with the lightsabers,” he said.

Mara closed down her weapon and stepped away, a bit flustered, as emotions cramped up in her chest ‘ _What’s going on here?_ ’ she silently questioned.

“It was a good class, Mara,” Luke told her “You still need to connect yourself more deeply with the flow of the Force…” he turned to her “… but that will come with time”.

“All right then,” she answered giving him a tight smile “Meditating next, isn’t it?” she asked picking up her things.

Luke nodded. What had just happened? Why couldn’t he just concentrate on giving the lesson? Was she now avoiding looking at him in the eye? What was with her giving him that look yesterday? Was she just….? He had to stop. No, he couldn’t afford to care for her, not in that way. All the times he had cared for someone something terrible had happened. He couldn’t allow himself to feel for a woman this way, not again -and especially not with Mara.

Her voice brought him back to the Gym “See you at the regular place then,” she turned and left the place.

He saw her leave wondering why things between them were always so entangled.

 

oOo

 

‘ _What in space did just happen in there_?’ Mara furiously wondered as she walked away from that awkward situation. Why wasn’t she being herself since she arrived at this damned Academy? What was it with Skywalker? Unable to hold herself from doing it, a smile slipped on her lips ‘ _Skywalker…. he smelled so good... Stop at once! But he looked so nice in his white pants yesterday… Would you just stop it?_ ’ Of course, Skywalker had a body to die for… and gorgeous blue eyes… and that smile. But liking his physical attributes didn’t mean that she wanted anything from him -or with him. All right, the man was attractive, so what? She had seen plenty of attractive men in her life time, and she had kept them at bay. She had had her one-night stands and all, but she had never needed anyone -and she wasn’t planning on starting now. Skywalker and she were just friends, allies, mission partners, business associates, Master and Padawan for the past few hours and so on, but that was it. He certainly was a good shot to have around, and his skills could come in handy when things went from bad to worse. He was a one of a kind pilot too- although she would not let him, or anyone else for that matter, put their hands on her ship.

Actually, things only went bad between them when he started pushing her towards completing her Jedi training, most of their fights had to do with that…. but now that she thought of it… she was now undertaking Jedi training. Did this mean that her arguments with Skywalker would come to an end? No more quarrels, or yelling at each other at the capacity of their lungs? Oh yes, she certainly could do that to him, she could make the collected Jedi lose his temper in a heartbeat. How much she enjoyed throwing him out of balance, he was so gullible at times -she smiled with satisfaction. She knew him well, she had grown to respect him, and although his too much righteousness was at times irritating, he was an all right kind of guy -he was even fun to be around. She smiled to herself, a soft, sweet smile...WHAT?!!! ‘ _I’m here to complete my training, not to spend time with him. It is NOT about him. This is about ME and MY completing of the Jedi training._ ’ Yes, that was all. She would focus on that and see it done.

After taking a quick shower and changing clothes she headed to the usual place were Luke liked to meditate. It was a secluded little garden outside his quarters, surrounded by massive trees and thick vegetation. The water running from a waterfall deep back in the jungle added to the atmosphere of peace, followed by a river running swiftly away. In the distance, a glimpse of the Massassi Mountains could be caught through the hazy fog. She found him there sitting on the grass, cross-legged, eyes closed and hands resting loosely on his knees. He had changed his clothing too and his hair was still damp from the shower he probably had just taken. He looked up to greet her.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she simply answered.

He gestured her with his hand to sit in front of him. She let herself drop on the ground and sat in the appropriate position. Closing her eyes, she relaxed and set herself in the appropriate mood, letting herself go with the sound of water running and soft wind blowing in her ears. As it resulted that meditating wasn’t as peaceful as Mara thought it would be. With all the turmoil of emotions and mixed feelings she was experiencing, there was little she could do to focus and find inner peace. She tried anyways. After a few minutes she gave up.

 “This isn’t working,” she complained, still with her eyes closed.

“Just relax and let go of all of your thoughts,” he instructed “This is not the first time you do this,” Luke encouraged “Come on, just concentrate.”

“I can’t,” she opened one eye… and saw Luke standing across from her, leaning his back on a thick tree. “Weren’t you just sitting in front of me?” she asked surprised.

Luke laughed at her surprise “Not too much luck at meditating either,” he explained “I did my share yesterday though,” he finished.

Walking towards her he offered his hand to help her stand up. “We’ll leave this for some other time.”

She accepted his hand “As you wish Master,” she said amused.

Luke walked towards the edge of the garden, where a railing separated safe footing from a perilous fall and stood there. Mara followed him at a slower pace; then halted by his side, enjoying the melody borne out of the stream trickling over stones and cobble, scurrying through roots and vines, running in and endless search for freedom.

“You like water, don’t you?” she asked.

“Oh yes!” he said, “Not much water where I grew up.”

“Tatooine.” she remarked.

He nodded. “May be that’s in part why I chose Yavin to be the home of the Jedi Order. Everything is so exuberant in this planet, so virgin, so isolated… and without the distractions of modern life. It’s the perfect environment for Jedi training. One can easily connect with the Force in here, there’s so much life around!” he finished passionately.

“I suppose so…” she smiled at his excitement.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing really…” and she added “You cannot deny your farm boy background; did you know that?” she mocked him.

“Oh, Jade. I don’t think you would want me any other way.” he mocked back.

“I guess not.” she said, “Is there anything out there you don’t get passionate about?” she inquired “It’s always the all or nothing with you, isn’t it?”

He shrugged.

They both smiled.

He continued, “For the rest of the day I think it would be best if you started going through the Jedi holocrons, then discuss it tomorrow.” he suggested. “We have a lot of studying to do, and the sooner we start the better.”

“Sure,” she agreed.

“You know Mara, there are very interesting findings in those holocrons. Most of what I’m teaching now comes from those findings. Before this I didn’t have anything to base my instruction on, but I’ve found them to be a very helpful tool when it comes to explaining what a Jedi can do with his or her power,” he frowned. “I wonder if you had any chance to be in contact with them before, with Sith holocrons, while working for the Emperor?”

“I’d heard of them, yes; but never had the chance to see them,” Mara said making a frown of herself, like thinking hard “I heard Palpatine and Vader talking about them some time, but that was all… why?”

“I just thought that having access to Sith holocrons would give us some tools to understand the dark side of the Force, and a better chance to know how to avoid it.” He explained “Instead of the _try and find out later_ scheme I’m working with right now.” he grimaced.

“I don’t know… I think that would be kind of dangerous,” she pointed out.

“Maybe you’re right.” He answered dropping the subject.

They stood there in silence for a while, both submerged in their own thoughts.

“I am thirsty. Would you like to come in and have something to drink?” he invited.

“No thanks,” she said, “I think I’ll go down to the library and start my readings.”

Luke smiled, pleased by her commitment “See you later then.”

In a way Luke was glad that she hadn’t taken on his invitation, this gave him the time he needed to collect himself and to be prepared for the next day. They still had a lot to do, and he had to make the most of the time he got with Mara. He wanted her to complete her training and he would make it his priority that she did so. He needed a cool mind and full concentration. Yes, he could do that. Or at least, he could try…

It had been just too much for a first day of training.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

It was a normal busy day. The activities at the Jedi Academy were taking place in the different assigned areas according to schedule. Luke and Mara were alone in one of the small classrooms in the south building, where the activity was lower, making the atmosphere particularly quiet in the area; the reason why Luke preferred to teach his lessons in this section of the Academy.

The last several weeks of training had gone smoothly, both concentrating on what they were doing. Much was at stake for any of them spoiling things up at the last minute. Luke gave his whole attention to teaching and Mara did so on her learning. They spent their days going through different exercises and Jedi techniques, Luke instructed Mara on new routines and helped her to improve the ones she already knew. In between lessons they had lunch with the other teachers at the Academy, since Luke wanted her to have all the information and feedback about what was going on in the training sessions of other padawans and in the Praexeum as a whole; they ate supper at Luke’s quarters to continue her lessons and discuss the day events. The long days finished with the execution of relaxation techniques and a well-deserved rest. Mara had become stronger, physically and mentally. She had a busy schedule, but after all, Mara’s instruction was an intensive course and it should be as exhaustive as it could get.

For Luke these days hadn’t been that bad; after all, he was a man capable of getting a hold of himself. Now he realized that he felt content of having Mara this way, compared to not having her at all. He enjoyed having his friend close, and as a padawan she was strong in the Force, intelligent and more than capable; her training demanded the best of him, and he liked it. Luke felt proud of his padawan. What a powerful Jedi she was going to be. He knew his enjoyment wouldn’t last, once the training was completed she would leave. Maybe it was better this way. All he could give her was his help to make her become a Jedi and nothing more -not sure she wanted more, anyways.

For Mara the past days had been intense, as rigorous as she could remember when training under imperial tutelage. Skywalker was good, and a very demanding Master. She liked challenges, so this was interesting. He was the most powerful Force user she had ever seen, so powerful it was scary at times –not that she would ever let it show. Being so close to Palpatine most of her life, and seeing what Vader had been capable of, she didn’t like to think what could become of Skywalker –or of the entire galaxy, if he once decided to give in to the dark side. She was glad that Skywalker was a good man, a farm boy at heart after all.

Today’s training had consisted of a morning lesson of object levitating, combined with different exercises where she had to push, grip and hold objects using the Force. Mara had started practicing the levitation of objects under Luke’s tutelage back in Wayland. Back then she had reluctantly accepted his training, but at the time they needed everything they could get their hands on, given their imminent confrontation with the mad clone of Jorus C’baoth. She had kept practicing it on her own over the past few years, and she was quite good at it. As for the other abilities, well pushing was easy, but gripping… that was a different story.

Luke watched attentively as Mara settled down a couple of weights softly on the ground and noticed the strain on her face. Maybe it was time to move to something else.

“O.K. Mara, I think we had enough of this.” He said to her “Time for a sparring session.”

“Fine with me,” Mara answered. She felt glad for the change; a little physical action was always welcomed. She had never been afraid of being physical. That was a core aspect of her imperial training. While working for the Empire she had had to be as deathly and as strong as any imperial stormtrooper or royal guardsman. Never fragile as an Alderaanian princess… even if no one would mistake Leia Organa for a fragile woman.

They headed to the Main Gym and took the far section –some other lessons where underway on the other sections.

They both walked to the center, stood one in front of the other. Luke saluted, his lightsaber hanging from his belt. Mara did likewise and waited for her master’s instructions.

“Today we’re not using lightsabers” Luke instructed “We’ll practice free hand combat…” Mara smiled with satisfaction, free hand combat, one of her areas of expertise. “…and we’re going to apply what we were just practicing this morning.” Mara’s smile faded.

“You want me to lift you and push you around with my mind?” She asked.

“Something like that…” Luke smiled and challenging her he added “…if you can.”

This was going to be interesting, working with objects was one thing, but trying to handle the weight of a human body sounded kind of tricky. She was familiar with Luke’s use of the Force to do such things, but to do it herself… she pictured the idea in her mind and gave him a wicked smile. She’ll join in the fun, at Skywalker’s expense.

“Remember those Force blocking techniques I taught you a few days ago?” Luke asked her. She nodded. “Well, you can apply those here to block my own Force attacks.”

Mara prepared herself, “Your call _Farmboy_.”

They started their match. Mara was an expert at free hand combat, but Luke was pretty good himself and with the Force as his ally he could anticipate his opponent’s attacks with ease. They threw blows and blocks at an amazing speed. Mara was surprised of herself, at how her speed had increased now that she was more connected to the Force. They finished the first sequence and circled around facing each other.

“Not bad for a farm boy.”

“Thanks Jade.”

Mara threw a right punch to Luke’s face without the intention of connecting and made him give one step back, while distracting him she turned on herself and aimed a powerful back kick right to his chest. Luke was fast enough to foresee the diversion and caught Mara’s left foot with his hands right before it connected with his chest and held it there.

“Getting nasty now?” Luke teased.

“You don’t even have an idea of how nasty I can get.”  She broke her boot loose from his hands and returned to a guarded position.

They threw some more punches and kicks, blocking each other’s blows. No harm done. Now it was time for a little use of Force.

Using the Force Mara tried to lift and push Luke backwards only to find him blocking her attack with his equivalent use of the Force. He didn’t move one inch.

“Good Jade” Luke praised her “Just next time don’t let me know in advance what you’re doing.”

‘ _In advance?_ ’ Mara felt annoyed. She tried more Force maneuvers but found every one of them counter attacked by Luke’s equivalent. At least she was also blocking his attempts to use those same Force techniques on her.

“Look for the gap, Mara.” Luke instructed her.

As the match unraveled it had drawn the attention of the students that were practicing their own lessons in the Gym area. Not every day they got the chance to see Jedi Master Skywalker in action, so the teachers discretely let them watch in awe.

The match was impressive and developing incredibly fast, both contenders were top of the line at combat skills. Mara started to get more and more annoyed of Luke’s anticipation of her every move, every time she tried to use the Force to lift, hold, push or grab him. Luke wasn’t using the later on her at this point and this made her feel like he was just being soft and condescending, and she hated it. She remembered something about not getting angry while tapping on the Force… Well, she was not angry, she just wanted to get Skywalker, and she was going to outsmart him. In one sudden movement she ignited her lightsaber forcing Luke to do the same.

“I think I said no lightsabers.” Luke mentioned blocking one of her blows.

“You want to see my improvement; we might as well use everything at hand.”

Sparks were throwing out at every lightsaber contact. He was offsetting every maneuver she tried to snarl him in, but she still had a few tricks to show him. In one fast move, instead of blocking, Mara ducked under one of Luke’s blows and made a quick sweep with her leg hitting Luke on his ankles and making him fall. He rolled back and quickly stood up while Mara charged at him. Suddenly Luke caught her in a force-hold making her stop abruptly, holding her a couple of steps away from him. When Mara felt Luke’s force-hold on her, by instinct she responded with a powerful push waving her hand towards him and using the Force. This time she found the gap and got it right, taking him completely off guard. Receiving the powerful wave of Force Luke went flying to the other side of the section to land on top of a group of mesh stools and tables that were stacked on that end; and stayed there... his back against the gym’s floor. The match was over.

‘ _Sithspit!_ ’ Closing down her lightsaber and clipping it to her belt, Mara ran the twenty meters that separated her from where Luke had landed. When she reached him, she kneeled beside him and called “Luke… Luke… Are you all right?” worry was in her voice.

“I like it…” Luke said. Where those stars circling before his eyes?

“What… When I beat you up like this?” She asked in confusion. Not a hint of sarcasm in her voice this time.

“No…” he laughed a bit, noticing Mara’s confusion and lack of sarcasm, and then added “When you call my name.” He said softly and smiled at her.

“Well, don’t get used to it Skywalker.” Mara said bringing back her usual self.

“What… to your beating?” Luke joked.

Mara’s cheek twitched, it wasn’t funny. She knew what had just happened, she had gotten away with it because she wasn’t a threat to Skywalker; they were only training. In a real combat scenario no one would have ever been able to pull that one out on him. He was a Jedi Master after all.

“Can you sit up?” She asked

“I’m fine.” He answered sitting up slowly “I’m just a bit dizzy.” He said reaching for his lightsaber that lay on the floor next to him and clipped it to his belt. “I guess it was a long way before I landed.” he finished noticing the distance. He distinguished hurried robes approaching.

“Master Skywalker! Are you all right?” Streen looked concerned.

“I’m all right Streen, thanks.” Luke assured him.

“You’re bleeding.” Kyp noticed.

Luke took his hand to his forehead and stained it with some blood. “It’s just a small cut.” He said.

“You should go down to the infirmary.” Another robed voice suggested.

Someone handed him a clean towel, he grabbed it and put in on the injury. It certainly was bleeding.

“It’s nothing” He reassured “I’ve gotten worst.” He turned to Mara ‘ _Help here?_ ’

“All right, out of the way.” She said standing up and pulling Luke up with her. “My mess, I’ll fix it.” She offered him her shoulder and started towards the exit.

“Go back to your lessons,” Luke instructed “It’s nothing, I’ll be all right.”

Once the commotion was over teachers and students went back to work.

They didn’t go to the infirmary; instead they headed to Luke’s quarters. Once there, Mara was more than capable of giving him the relatively simple first aid he needed.

“Here,” Mara showed him a sit “Sit _Farmboy_. Where do you keep your medical kit?”

“I can take care of it, Mara. You don’t have to…” She gave him a warning look. “…in the fresher…. last drawer to the left.” Luke gave her directions, knowing that Mara already had made up her mind about who was supposed to be the medic.

Mara left the room and came back shortly after with a small case in her hands and placed it on a table nearby.

Luke watched as Mara got everything ready and started working on his injury. He watched as she looked at him with a frown of concern. She was so beautiful, the attraction he felt towards her was unbearable; and on top of that she was intelligent, smart, strong, dependable, brave to the end of infinite…. the list could go on and on; she knew the Force and could also understand him in that way. Of course, not everything was nice and sweet about Mara –Sweet? Well, that would be an adjective she would not take kindly, he better didn’t say that out loud or Mara would kill him. Yes, she had quite a temper, and knew exactly where to push his buttons, but all of this made her who she was: Mara… his Mara; and he wouldn’t have wanted her any different. He let a sight out… his heart ached so much, a lot more than his head… _‘I shouldn’t love you…’_ Luke declared silently _‘…but I do.’_ He smiled sadly to himself.

He came back from wherever he was, when a sudden small surge of pain hit his brain and made him jump a little on his sit.

“Don’t be such a baby!” She scolded him.

“I’m not!” He complained.

Mara glared at him. Luke sat still.

“You banged you head quite hard Jedi,” Mara pointed out while cleaning the injury on his head. “Probably you’ll feel dizzy for a while longer.”

“You could have practiced your force-grip, you know…” Luke started “… and grab me before I landed on all that furniture.”

Mara grimaced. “Yes. I guess I could have done that, couldn’t I?” She stuck a small bacta patch on the injury and finished her work.

“You could have tried,” Luke pointed out and then continued, “It was a very strong burst of Force, it’s just a matter of learning to control it… or not, depending on the situation.” This was the Master talking.

Mara bit her lip. She squatted in front of him and looking at him straight in the eye she said “Look… I know I got a bit carried away.” Mara apologized “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Luke took her hand “You have great power, Mara. The Force is strong with you.” He looked into those amazingly green eyes and smiled.

She could feel that he really meant what he was saying, but why was he looking at her like that? She wondered uncomfortably. She let go and standing up started throwing everything back in the case.

“Besides…” Luke continued in amusement “…we just gave them something to talk about for the next few days. How Master Skywalker got beat up by his own padawan.”

“I guess we did,” Mara smiled slightly. If it had happened to her she would have been furious, but him… he was even amused by the incident.

She finished putting everything away and decided to let him rest for the day, not without him reassuring her that he was all right, that he didn’t need any rest and that they should continue with their schedule. Mara was not going to give in on what she thought would be best for him, and Luke knowing better than arguing with her, decided to settle with her offer of starting very early the next day.

Mara headed down to her quarters, suddenly feeling immensely tired. Calling the day off early wasn’t a bad idea after all. She thought of what had just happened... of actually being scared at the moment, thinking that she had hurt Skywalker bad. To her relief it wasn’t more than a cut on his head, and probably a few bruises on his body; he was tough. She smiled. ‘ _Why am I smiling this much to myself lately?_ ’ She really heated being this soft around Skywalker; the damned Jedi had this kind of effect on her. She was the former Emperor’s Hand, now Master Trader and future Jedi Knight; she could not allow herself such weakness. Mara thought that… well she didn’t really know what to think at the moment; she was very tired and planning on taking a good night of rest. Tomorrow things would come back to normal. They always did.

 

oOo

 

Luke was meditating when he felt a disturbance in the Force, a familiar presence approaching Yavin IV. He smiled to himself ‘ _What is he doing here?_ ’ Heading towards the landing platform area, he realized that he wasn’t feeling dizzy anymore; the few hours in meditation had helped his recovery. He got to the operations room and approached the flight controller in duty.

“Any incoming ships?” He asked, standing behind him.

“No sir, nothing has been shown for the past couple of days.”

“When the ship reaches the sensors, give all the proper clearance and take it to platform twenty-four” He instructed the young flight controller, “I’ll make the reception committee.”

The controller gave a strange look at the Master “As you wish Master Skywalker” he answered not quite understanding. He was about to ask the Master what he was referring to when a soft beeping called his attention to the consoles “We’re about to have company, Sir. Coming in on the dark side of the planet,” he admonished and turned to face the Jedi Master, but he wasn’t there anymore. He then proceeded to monitor the arriving ship and give all the proper clearances.

Luke was already standing at the gate when the Millennium Falcon approached the landing platform and gracefully landed on the ground. Luke was glad to see his old friend. With the lives they lead, they didn’t have much time to spend together. It wasn’t like back in a corridor in any of the Rebel Alliance bases anymore, where they bumped into each other several times a day; and when they ran dangerous missions together, relying on each other’s wit and bravery to get away from precarious situations. They both now had their individual concerns and responsibilities. Over the years they have both grown older, and wiser, but their friendship remained intact.

“Hey Kid!” Han greeted coming down the ramp.

“Hi Han!” Luke greeted back.

They hugged each other with a loud slapping on each other’s back, and then walked alongside to the compound.

“Where did you leave Chewie?” Luke asked.

“The only way I was able to lose that fuzz ball was reminding him that he had promised to bring Jacen and Jaina to that Wookie festival of theirs, so I dropped them on Kashyyyk and decided to take the Falcon for a spin. You know how he gets about me going around on my own.” Han explained. Pointing at Luke’s forehead he added “Who gave you that?” he asked noticing the small bruise.

“Oh, it’s nothing; an accident during a training session with Mara.” Luke answered touching the bruise on his forehead and grimacing when doing so.

“Women are nothing but pain –your lovely sister excluded,” Han said. Then something clicked in his mind “Mara?” he asked slyly and turning to Luke added “Too hot to handle?” a smirk showing on his face.

Deliberately Luke didn’t take the cue, and he kept on walking. “Tonight, I’ll sleep into a Jedi healing trance and it’ll be gone by morning.” He offered casually, wishing the uneasiness in his heart could go away that easily.

“A handy Jedi trick,” Han observed “Make sure you teach that one to the kids some time, instead of the hocus-pocus side.”

“I will,” Luke added, amused at Han’s irreverence. He was more than happy they were changing the subject. “I’m glad you’re here. There’s some Whyren Reserve I’ve been meaning to try.” He finished giving his friend his own wicked smile.

“Ah, that’s just the kind of receptions I like.” Han answered following cue, although he very well knew Luke didn’t drink one drop of alcohol.

Once they reached Luke’s quarters, they fixed themselves some drinks and enjoyed supper. They talked about family, the latest happenings at the Jedi Academy, Coruscant’s politics -How Senator Fey’lya kept making trouble for Leia and how much Han wanted to squeeze his bothan little neck quite a few times, but Leia wouldn’t allow it. Sometimes it was really hard to be married to the Chief of State. They talked about Han’s latest assignments with the New Republic, and about him thinking of resigning his military commission and start living a civilian’s life. And so on.

Leaving the table and sitting in the den, Luke handed a second Whyren Reserve glass to Han and sat across from him “Leia sent you, didn’t she?” he plainly asked.

You didn’t need to be a Jedi to notice Han’s reaction to the question. She had sent him indeed.

Han braced himself “Well kid, you know how she gets when she thinks you’re in trouble,” he said accepting the drink from Luke’s hand. Leia had been restless lately; she had sensed that something was troubling her twin. “And she also needed a break from me,” he added casually “You know your sister. She can’t get enough of me, but she can get enough of me.” He shifted on his sit uncomfortably “And I needed a break from all that Coruscant’s politics, I was going mad! Maybe that’s why she sent me off in the first place. Before I killed someone.”

Luke chuckled at his friend’s remarks. He made a mental note of working on his shields for Leia, and then asked, “What kind of trouble did she tell you I was in?”

“She didn’t say anything,” Han answered “But I’d say it has something to do with that nice gash you’re sporting. Or should I say the person who gave it to you?” he drawled, spearing Luke with a shrewd stare.

Luke huffed; annoyed that Han could read him so well. But he knew he could not bear to hide this anymore; he had to let it out. Telling Han could be his well needed outlet. He stood up and walked a few steps towards the window, and then turned to Han “It’s Mara alright.” He confirmed.

“Why I am not surprised?” Han said sitting deep in his seat, crossing his arms on his chest and letting his left ankle rest on his right knee. He raised his eyebrows at Luke, urging him to continue.

“She’s here at the Academy, undertaking Jedi training. She asked to be trained by me and that’s what I’m doing, but…” he stopped. Han looked at him with a suspicious look on his face. No, that wasn’t right, it didn’t sound right. That was not what it was. “All right, is not her… it’s me.” Luke finally admitted. He made a pause and turned to the window looking away and wishing the magenta colored twilight of Yavin IV could spare him of letting out his deepest secret. “I’m in love with her.” He said it like in a whisper.

He turned to look at Han, there was no reaction in the older man’s face “Took you this long to figure that out?” he simply said.

“Is it that obvious?” Luke asked kind of surprised and worried. ‘ _WAS IT THAT OBVIOUS?!!!_ ’

“Kid, you’ve been both giving off enough pheromones to rival Ylesian priests. I’ve never seen you so rattled for a chick, even when she was still after your hide. I’d have to be blind not to notice.”

Luke let his shoulders sink in with a sigh of defeat.

“How does she feel about you?” Han persisted, knowing the kid could clam up at any minute and keep his mouth shot for ages.

“I think…. she might…” he stopped and realized it “…I don’t know for sure.” He shook his head, when it came to Mara everything was so confusing.

“And what are you going to do about it?” Han pressed the subject.

Luke let out a sigh “Nothing.” He said flatly.

“Nothin'?” Han asked incredulous “That’s the spirit!” he huffed, dropping his glass on the table, unconcerned about the spilt liquor.

“Han, you know how my love life has been.” Luke said in a matter of fact tone of voice, walking towards Han and sitting down across from him.

“Well, you had a big crush on your sister for a while there…” Han conceded mockingly, then docked the flying cushion going straight to his head. “Hey! You know women always like heroes, and a hero with a tortuous past… nothing can beat that!” he added amused.

“Yeah, I can just see Mara drowning in hero worship.” He shot back.

“Why not? ‘Luke, help me! You’re my only hope! I never really meant to kill you; I was just fighting my attraction to you!” Han mimicked in a high-pitched voice, guffawing at his brother-in-law horrified expression.

“Why you… you… nerf-herder!” was Luke’s retort, using his sister’s favorite insult and every other cushion he could find in the room, then shook his head at his friend’s amusement, letting Han know that he was being very serious. “After what has happened to all the girls that have had to do something with me, do you think I want to put Mara in a situation like that? I could not bear something bad happening to her… I don’t think I could take it… not that.” Luke confided his friend.

The Corellian turned serious now “I’ll tell you just one thing: they weren’t Mara. She knows how to take care of herself.” He continued “And if you believe that everything that happens to other people who are connected to you in some way, has something to do with you…” He shook a finger at him “Then you should check your Jedi ego because not everything revolves around you, you know?” He took a sip of his drink, and then added “I ain’t going to tell you what to do Kid, but….”

“Jedi are not supposed to have that kind of attachments.” Luke interrupted.

Han leaned forward “Yeah right, this coming from the guy who stood up that little green gnome of yours and ran to help his friends. If you’re telling me you cannot have friends either, I swear I’m gonna hit you. Hard!” Han scolded his friend. “If I didn’t know you better, I would say that you’re just trying to hide in a hole like a Tatooine womp rat.”

Luke gave him a weary look.

“Listen, I know you’re as headstrong as your sister, or worst; but for once listen to me and leave your head out of this.” He continued “I ain’t any good at this type of deep conversation, you know me; but I can tell you this: you think that if I’d been thinking all these years I would have ended up where I’m now? I’d probably be death!” he made a concerned face, “But I’m here, and I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he grinned. “Look, I’m not the best at advice, but just leave thinking out of this. Thinking is bad.” He finished with a wink.

Luke smiled weakly and didn’t say anything, just sat there wishing he could just see things the way his friend could. “She hasn’t given me any reason to start anything anyways.” He finally said defensively

“Hasn’t she?” Han asked incredulous “Maybe you’re not paying attention, Luke head-over-the-clouds Skywalker.” He drawled, putting his empty glass on the caf-table in front of him. “Do whatever you want to do.” Han said after his friend’s lack of response. “I’m your friend and it’s just my job to tell you when you’re screwing up.”

‘ _Now, this is reassuring._ ’ Luke thought.

Han felt good with himself now, Leia should be proud of him.

The older man slapped his friend on the shoulder “Time to hit the bunk Kid,” Han said “I don’t know about you, but I’m not the same guy I used to be. I need my rest.” Luke chuckled at his friend’s remark.

Han stood up and headed to the guests’ bed chamber door in Luke’s quarters. He stopped at the doorway and then added “I’m just thinking that… the girl must have gone through hell all of her life, you know. I don’t think growing up with Palpatine was a blast,” he made a pause and then continued “Don’t you think she deserves a bit of heaven? Leia thinks you could give her that.” He shrugged “We’ll that’s just an old pirate’s thought. Good nite Kid!”

Luke called after his friend, “Please don’t tell Leia anything of this,” he asked, “I’ll tell her myself.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sealed as a durasteel safe.” He turned to Luke “What should I tell her then?” If he knew his wife, she wasn’t going to settle with a lame _he didn’t say anything to me_ , or _I could not get anything out from that kid!_

“Tell her I’m all right and that I’ll talk to her as soon as I figure things out.” Luke suggested not wanting to lie to his sister or having Han lie for him.

“Fair enough. Just remember: don’t think and act!” The Corellian nodded and left the room.

Long after Han left Luke found himself looking out the window, holding a mug of very cold chocolate in his hands. It was dark outside, he noticed; he’d been standing there for quite a while and he felt stiff for the lack of movement, his mind and heart rumbling with uncertainty. Should he listen and acknowledge his wants and needs? He was human after all, and his heart ached as any other human heart; but not every human had either his abilities or his legacy. He was a Jedi Master, the first of the new, and he had responsibilities.

Why didn’t the Jedi of the Old Order allow relationships, attachments? Did attachments lead to the dark side? Still he wasn’t sure of what the Old Jedi Order allowed or not, he hadn’t found any records that held such information. What did his heart tell him? His heart… was a Jedi even allowed to listen to his heart? He had followed it that one time… and nearly led to disaster. Never in his life had he felt his doubts so keenly. He felt weary, weary of this burden…. this fear of failing… of falling to the dark side… He touched it once already, being enslaved by Palpatine’s clone… what if next time Leia wasn’t there to bring him back? He felt afraid of himself, of what his deeply caring for Mara would bring down on her… on him.

‘ _Fear leads to the dark side._ ’ He could hear Yoda’s warning in his head.

 

oOo

 

The morning air was filled with a mild rainy scent; it chilled Luke’s skin when it went through his clothing. The Millennium Falcon blending in against the grey background.

“Well, Kid. I should get going.” Han announced after doing all the pre-flight checks. “Take care of yourself.”

“I will.” Luke nodded. “Clear skies. And may the Force be with you.”

Han walked towards the ship and turning back to Luke made a small wave with his hand.

“Thanks for coming” Luke called after his friend.

“Any time.” The Corellian wet up the ramp and shortly after the ship soared into the sky.

Luke stood there, looking up to the heavens, until he couldn’t feel his friend's presence any longer. He then headed back to the Academy; there was work to get done.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

The corridors of the student levels were only lit by the soft lights of the sconces on the walls, no other light came through the windows and only a starry dark sky could be seen through. Everything was quiet, not showing any sign of activity.

He was careful enough to shield his presence from the other Jedi; he didn’t want to startle any of them. Some months had passed since he started instructing his new padawan in the Jedi ways. She had come a long way already; her lightsaber handling was more accurate and more connected with the Force, as well as her meditating techniques. Her use of the Force came more natural now. She still had more to learn, but what Mara was achieving was outstanding, not to his surprise. He always knew that she could make a good Jedi; it was only a matter of her wanting to do so. And he was glad that she had come to him, as a Jedi Master he was pleased with the progress of his padawan. As a man he found his heart all tangled up, turned upside down and inside out of trying to stop the unstoppable… him falling for her. In spite of his inner agony, he had managed to keep things strictly professional. Still, he thought this shouldn’t stop him from sharing things with her; they were after all good friends.

He reached the corridor where Mara’s quarters were located. He stopped at the door and knocked softly… nothing. He knocked again and let his shields drop down only for her. The door slid open to reveal an annoyed, menacing looking Mara in her sleeping clothes and with a blaster in her hand.

“Skywalker, what in the Force’s name are you doing here?” Mara asked keeping her voice down.

“I didn’t startle you, did I?” Luke said in an amused tone, matching her low voice.

Mara gave him a stern look. “Couldn’t have you used the commlink? Just like any other normal person?”

“And miss the chance to drag you out of your own bed?” Luke answered even more amused. “Besides, I know you’re not a deep sleeper” he took a glance at the blaster in her hand and could tell that Mara didn’t see the fun of it. “Get dressed, we’re going running.”

“Running?” Mara asked surprised “I thought today we were….”

“Change of plans,” he interrupted. “We’re not staying indoors today, bring a survival kit.”

“It’s still dark outside.” Mara said kind of confused. What was in Skywalker’s mind?

“Not for long, so better hurry up or we’ll miss it,” he urged her “I’ll wait outside the east exit.”

 

oOo

 

‘ _Skywalker and his brilliant ideas_ ,’ Mara complained to herself while running behind Luke. What was he thinking while taking her out here? In the middle of nowhere, when it was still dark? He better had a good reason in doing so, or he’d be in deep trouble. Along the way she mused on their past months training together. He’d been acting strange lately, not that she was able to read his sense or anything –the man was able to shield himself better than any Force-sensitive she had ever known, but she had known him for some years now and she could notice when something was not right with him, she could read something in his body language, like if something was troubling him deeply, he felt distant at times; not like the warm, easy going farm boy she was used to deal with. His now spontaneous move was much more like the Luke she knew, may be all that bleakness was only a phase he was just going through and now he was coming back to normal. She liked him much better this way, although she didn’t show it, nor was eager to accept. 

They had been running up hill for quite a while now and they didn’t seem to be reaching the top of any place. During the past few weeks they had stayed training indoors. Today the early morning sky was clear, not a single cloud left from the last weeks of non-stopping rain. Mara could see the billion stars shining dimly above. Luke could sense Mara’s annoyance; still she didn’t ask where they were going. She trusted him indeed.

They reached the top. It was a small flat area, located high on the side of a hill; down below one could notice the jungle expanding underneath, and on the far side the dark silhouettes of the high mountains.

“We’re here.” Luke announced, walking towards the edge of the cliff.

‘And _where is here?_ ’ Mara though to herself and followed him to the edge.

He stood there looking out into the horizon “And just on time.” 

Standing next to him Mara stared at Luke with a quizzical look, and turned towards the side he was facing, noticing the sky was starting to clear up in the horizon.

“What are we waiting for?” she asked.

“You’ll see.” Luke answered with a smile, asking her to be patient.

They both stood there in silence. The light of the new morning started to poke behind the Massassi Mountains, and then it happened.

The sky turned to different colors and slowly started showing small scintillating showers of rainbows, they were few at the beginning and slowly began to turn larger and more numerous. This was one of Yavin’s natural wonders. When the conditions were appropriate, and a large amount of ice crystals concentrated in the upper atmosphere, the sun beams striking at them created the rainbow showers. Multi-colored beams of light traveled across the sky above them. Mara held her breath, the sight was the most beautiful scene she had ever witnessed; Luke noticed the change in her sense.

“This is so beautiful!” she said in a gasp.

“Yes, it is.” Luke was looking at her. Yes, the most beautiful thing standing right next to him. He trailed off; “It doesn’t happen often,” Luke explained “I guessed today we would be able to see it… so I took my chances. I thought you would like it.”

She thought of something witty to say, but she was so moved by the sight that she could only manage to say what she really meant “Thank you.” She said turning to him. Why was Skywalker always this nice to her? She almost hated him for that!

They locked eyes. They were standing so close to each other that Mara could see her reflection in Luke’s eyes. She could feel a current of electricity going up her spine, a magnetic field that forced her to stand there next to him and wanting to approach even more. She always felt this way around Skywalker, she realized just now. Had his eyes always been this blue? She moved closer to him, lost into his eyes.

When feeling her move closer, Luke snapped back from his contemplation and took a step back softly holding Mara by her arms. Taking a deep breath, he managed to say something “We should start heading down.”

Mara realized how close she was to Luke “Yeah, all right…” was all she said. Had that bleakness set back upon Skywalker just now?

Both took a last look into the horizon. The rainbow storm continued until the sun came out from behind the mountains making the multi-colored view start to vanish. In a few minutes it was gone. Luke smiled at her and jogged down, Mara followed.

They reached a clearing next to a great calm lake. There were several trees around the clearing and a large, high formation of rocks on one end. It was the ideal spot to hold their morning lesson. Today they focused on Mara’s technique to enhance her body muscles. They practiced jumps and turns, flips and back flips. Jedi muscles needed to be very strong to be able to perform this kind of physical challenges, but she was up to the task.

Mara watched as Luke showed her how he used the force to jump as high as eight meters reaching for one of the ledges on the rock formation and then letting himself drop down and land softly on the ground. It seemed simple enough; doing it herself would be a different matter though.

“Your turn,” Luke announced, “Want to try that?” he asked her nodding towards the ledge he just landed from.

“Sure, why not?” she answered with confidence in her voice.

“Just concentrate and visualize what you want to do. Reach the lower ledge for a start.” He instructed her. It was only about five meters high.

Mara nodded, and focused on what she had to do. She prepared herself and jumped up. As she approached the aimed spot she noticed that she had miscalculated and was going to miss the ledge by less than a meter… this was going to hurt. She braced herself and got ready to bear up her crashing against the rock, and it was when she felt Luke’s touch with the Force, helping her go up the last stretch. She made it, thanks to Skywalker.

Now she had to go down. She looked down at Luke.

‘ _It will be all right. You’re doing great for your first time_.’ He encouraged her ‘ _I’ll be here if something goes wrong._ ’ He reassured her without words.

‘ _I don’t want you to baby sit._ ’ She sent back in annoyance.

‘ _You want to break your neck then?_ ’ he pointed out.

‘ _Well… when you put it that way…_ ’ she conceded. ‘ _I could use my utility belt, you know… is not like I’m resource less_.’

‘ _Mara…_ ’ Luke warned.

‘ _All right, all right Skywalker_.’ She sent annoyed, agreeing to do it the proper Jedi way. ‘ _I’m going to get you for this_.’ She threatened.

Turning towards the edge of the ledge and taking a deep breath she let herself drop down. While descending she lowered her speed using the Force, but still landed a little too fast; to compensate she rolled over her shoulder minimizing the impact.

“Well done.”  Luke approached her.

“A whole life of imperial training has to be of some use.” She added sarcastically.

“And just imagine what it will do combined with you Jedi training.” Luke pointed out to her.

Well, he had a point there. Mara smiled with satisfaction.

They continued with their training. Mara got the knack of it pretty fast. She was a fast learner and Luke a good teacher.

Mara noticed that while training, he took his Jedi Master role quite seriously. He had just spared her from a painful –and may be embarrassing experience a while ago. She didn’t like it when people got in the middle of her own things. She considered herself to be strong enough to overcome anything that could be thrown at her, she had done that her whole life; but Skywalker’s protectiveness made her feel that she was part of something… even if it was being part of the Jedi’s worries… that, she could tolerate. She sometimes let herself think further concerning Skywalker’s interest in her… what if…

Yes, she sometimes thought about herself and the _Farmboy_ ; about this strange relationship of theirs. How could he bear with her? Considering that she wasn’t the friendliest person in the galaxy. She hadn’t been raised to have acquaintances, or friends, or family… she had been taught to consider every sentient being as a tool to get the job done. On the other hand, the Jedi was an insufferable idealist. What was it that kept Skywalker coming back into her life? And what had been keeping her coming after him one time and another to save his rear end every time he got himself into some kind of trouble? Maybe they were both masochists. Yeah, that was it. They both liked the hard life. Well, it had to be… you sure had to be out of your mind to yield to this crazy training and to live giving yourself bruises, cuts, sleepless nights, feeding on ration bars, endure the most bizarre planetary conditions and living in a space ship for months. And it was even worst with Skywalker, because on top of all that he also wanted to save every single soul in the galaxy in the process. The man was really out of his mind… and she was too, for letting him drag her into all of this. And the worst thing of all was that she really enjoyed it.

Definitely, they were a pair of masochists.

‘ _Force, it is so hot out today._ ’ Mara continued thinking to herself. She was feeling so sticky and could see that Skywalker wasn’t any better. ‘ _Talking about enduring the hardships of nature… this damned planet and its damned jungle…_ ’

Luke liked to use his teaching time as practicing time for himself too, so he worked as hard as any of his students. This meant that he would execute every exercise he wanted his padawan to do. He was in the middle of his demonstration of a back flip when he sensed something; finishing his turn in the air earlier he landed in a squat and stayed there… attentive. Luke’s attentiveness made Mara tense her own body, readying herself for the unexpected. He straightened up just slightly.

“Do you feel that?” Luke asked the alerted padawan. Mara gave him a negative nod.

Suddenly there was some movement on top of one of the trees, and Mara could distinguish a rather large creature coming down the tree trunk reaching the ground very fast. In a blink the blur splashed into the lake.

Mara swung her lightsaber making the white-blue blade shine into existence “What was that?” she asked already set in a combat stance.

Calmly Luke walked towards the shore of the lake, “It’s just a mucous salamander. They are harmless.” He turned his back to the lake.

Mara closed down her lightsaber. So much for anticipating possible predators, she thought.

“Can you sense anything coming from it?” he asked her encouragingly.

Mara closed her eyes and concentrated “I don’t sense any danger… I can feel certain protectiveness coming from it… it’s not alone, there’s one more with it… younger….”  She opened her eyes.

“Good.” Luke praised her. Mara could sense he was pleased with her interpretation. “You’re getting better.”

Teaching Mara how to connect with the Force sensing primitive thinking creatures had been one of the practiced exercises while training here at Yavin; instructing her to sensing instincts, more than feelings or a pattern of thinking.

“Jacen has a special talent with animals.” Luke mentioned, obviously proud at his nephew’s ability. He smiled at the memory of Jacen soothing a frantic stray pettin they found on Coruscant’s streets one afternoon, and how much they had tried to convince Leia to let him keep it. “It seems like there is no limit to the Jedi abilities. Each one of us have our own inborn talents.” He finished.

Mara gave a snort “I wonder what mine are.” She added sarcastically. Sensing approaching wild creatures was definitely not one of them, she thought in amusement.

“Each species has its own thinking patterns, Jedi must learn most in order to be able to decipher their intentions.” Luke noted stressing the importance of what he had just said.

Mara looked back at him. Couldn’t he just relax for a minute? What was it with that dark cloud he was enveloped with? She certainly was going to do something about that. There was only room for one moody person, and that place was taken by her already. A twinkle showed in her eyes and a mischievous smile appeared on her lips. She turned to Luke.

“You look hot, _Farmboy_.” Mara said with a sensual tone in her voice. While saying it a smirk showed on her face.

“Uuhh?” Luke let out, not being sure of how to take that comment.

Mara walked towards Luke with her cat-like walk. He stood there unable to move, a sudden rush of adrenaline going through his body, the unexpected way Mara was approaching… She reached out and putting a hand on his chest she pushed him back and… Luke went down splashing into the water. He came back from under the water gasping for air.

“That’s better! Told you I was gonna get you!” Mara said forcing herself not to laugh “You need to lighten up! That much seriousness gets kind of annoying, you know?”

Luke couldn’t believe she’d just done that. This was not going to stay like this. “Care to join me?” and with a slight force-hold made Mara lose her balance.

She was standing too close to the edge; she couldn’t regain her balance on time and came down splashing into the water, joining Luke in the lake. Now it was Mara’s head coming out of the water gasping for some air.

“Now, this is what I call better!” He couldn’t hide his enjoyment.

“That’s cheating, Jedi!” she yelled at him.

Luke laughed. Mara splashed a hand on the surface throwing some water at his face. Luke answered back. After a short while they had enough laughing, and water splashed at each other.

“Well, maybe it wasn’t a bad idea after all,” Luke mentioned while enjoying the cool water. “You should have seen your face Jade!” he laughed.

“How funny!” she grunted at him.

“You started it!” he answered playing innocent.

“Yeah, right.” She giggled and started swimming to the shore. Luke followed.

They reached dry land and crawled out of the water. They were both soaked, their clothes clinging to their bodies. Sitting by the shore they looked at one another laughing. Luke couldn’t remember when the last time was he’d had this much fun; it felt so good when they both could relax this way. Mara thought it was a long time since she’d laughed this hard; at least the _Farmboy_ wasn’t all bleaky anymore.

“You pushed me again,” Luke remarked while remembering their little incident back in the Gym when he had ended flying to the other end. “I’m thinking that you’re starting to make a habit out of it.” He joked.

“In your dreams.” Mara chuckled, she was really enjoying this. “You’re a fine swimmer for a desert boy, _Farmboy_.”

Luke’s mood softened a little “Thank you Mara…” He said softly, leaning back on his elbows, with an intention in his voice. Mara looked at him kind of puzzled. What was he referring to?

“…for reminding me that I have to relax and not take myself too seriously.” He turned to her “You’re the one who grounds me, you know? … the only one who treats me like a normal person.” and gave her a broad smile. That smile could brighten the darkest place Mara thought.

“Did you know that you have a beautiful smile Skywalker?” Mara teased, but deep down meaning every word.

“I didn’t think you liked anything about me, Jade.” Luke answered taking it as one more of Mara’s jokes and playing along.

“I’m being serious.” Mara looked at him and gave him that roguish smile again.

Luke felt his face blush. Had that been a compliment? A compliment for him coming out of Mara’s mouth? Was she flirting with him? Was she just…?

Mara laughed at the effect her words had had in him. Standing up she challenged “Race you back to the Academy!” and started running. Yelling back, she sentenced “Last one is a frozen tauntaun!”

Luke winced at the remark, a remark that had immediately brought back those memories from Hoth. Quickly standing up he raced after her with a sudden burst of joy in his heart… and a warning bell ringing in the back of his mind… The sith with it! He’ll enjoy the moment and worry about it later.

He chased after her, losing himself in the denseness of the jungle.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

Slight hints of crushed foliage outlined the narrow path she had taken, barely traceable, as befitted her former occupation. He could hear his own fast footsteps as he ran chasing after her; the sound mixing with that of plants brushing against his body as he went by them and with the cries of the occasional startled creature that ran away as he approached. The heat and the humidity of the jungle made it a strenuous task. Trying not to mind the unkind conditions he concentrated on tracking her down, as he followed he noticed that she had changed direction; instead of heading to the Academy she was going deeper into the jungle. She was close, he could feel her presence; he hurried his stride. He trailed her until he reached a small clearing and found her there. She was standing still and looking up to the sky, bathed by the sun beams shining down through the openings on the tree dome; her red-gold hair sparkling where the light touched it.

He approached the spot where she was standing and stood next to her. When feeling his presence, she turned and looked at him with a warm smile on her lips. Something changed in her sense, her features softened as she smiled at him. Slowly she reached out and caressed his cheek; he felt her warm touch on his face and held her hand with his own. He could feel his own heart beating hard on his chest, she looked so beautiful. Hesitantly he moved his face closer, and then stopped an inch from hers. She moved the last inch and kissed him softly on the lips, a warm gentle kiss. He kissed her back loosing himself in her warm touch.

The wind started to blow. Without warning a violent gust burst in and several startled creatures flew away from the trees, crying out a danger call. They broke off their kiss. The light changed, the clouds ran wildly above their heads in a dance of lights and shadows all around. She broke off the embrace and stepped back.

“What is it Mara?” Luke asked concerned and giving a few steps forward following her.

She kept stepping back, moving away from him. A loud rumble shocked his senses as he felt the earth shaking under their feet. Luke looked down and noticed the opening cracks on the ground where he was standing; he caught the glimpse of the ground underneath Mara collapsing, trees and everything around sinking into a large hole -including Mara, leading her to a deep fall.

“Mara!!” he yelled.

Reacting immediately, he reached out for her as fast as he could, throwing himself forward and grabbing her by the arm. He lay there holding her with all his strength as he felt the ground underneath him starting to collapse and crumble down. The abundant rain of the past weeks must had loosened the soil he thought, but to this extent? He felt the strain in his arm’s muscles as he tried to hold on to Mara. He felt so week, so slow… and she felt so heavy, so difficult to hold on to…

“Mara, I need your help here, give me your other hand!” He said to her, feeling the ground giving in under his weight as the rumbling of the earth became louder.

“Your other hand!” He yelled as loud as he could, trying to make himself heard above the rumbling noise and extending his free hand towards her, urging her to respond. Oblivious to what he was asking for, Mara didn’t give him her other hand, instead she reached up and tried to lose her arm from his grip, willingly ready to meet the same fate as the one the trees and her surroundings were.

“Mara! What are you doing?!” Luke asked in disbelief “You need to give me your other hand or you’ll fall, please give me your other hand!!” He desperately pleaded trying to grab her free hand with his own free one. “Mara, please! Don’t let go!” he said with a broken voice. He looked into her eyes… What was going on with her? Why wasn’t she reacting?

Mara kept pulling away from him and with a sudden jerk she got herself loose from his desperate grip and fell into the abyss. Everything turned into total darkness.

“No, Mara!!!” he yelled in shock after her. ‘ _No, no, no, this cannot be happening!!!_ ’

Reaching the brink of desperation, he called on the Force with all his might and reached out for her with his power, he had to stop her fall; he had to get her back to safety…. but the harder he tried, the more he tapped on the Force, the more he could feel her presence fading away. He followed her with his sense; she kept falling deeper and deeper into the darkness.

Then there was only silence.

He lay where he had fallen, incapable to move, frozen by fear and terror; submerged in an oppressive darkness. His mind burned with doubts and questions. Why had she let go? Why hadn’t she tried anything? And then he thought of the others. Had something happened back at the Academy? Were they safe? He could not sense a thing…. everything was so death quiet. Was he alone?

She was gone… Mara was gone. ‘ _Please, not again… please!!!_ ’ Luke pleaded.

“Skywalker!... Skywalker!” he could hear her voice calling him “SKYWALKER!!!”

He abruptly sat up on his bed with a gasp of desperation. He felt short of breath, a cold sweat pouring off his forehead. He opened and closed his eyes trying to adjust to the brightness in the room; he could feel his head ringing. A grab on his right arm startled him… when turning he found a worried Mara staring at him with concern.

“It was just a bad dream,” he heard her say “It’s all right now.”

Luke rubbed his eyes with his hand, realizing that he was in his quarters, sitting in his own bed and with Mara kneeling beside him.

‘ _Mara?_ ’ he registered. He turned to look at her “Mara… w-what are you doing here?” he said in a coarse voice. His mouth was so dry.

“Well, we were supposed to meet at the Gym half hour ago… and since you didn’t show up and you didn’t answer your com link either, I decided to come and see what was wrong…” she explained “…when I got to the door I didn’t get any answer and then suddenly I felt that you were kind of distressed so I decided to use the code key you had given me. When I came in looking for you I found you asleep and struggling with some kind of nightmare… I let the light in, I called you and I called you, but you wouldn’t wake up!”

Luke let some air out with relief “It was just a dream,” he whispered. It had been just a distressing, scary dream.

He looked back at Mara, he felt so glad to see her safe and sound… he reached out and hugged her.

“Good morning to you too.” Mara said feeling a bit uncomfortable with his sudden sign of affection. What was going on with him?

Aware of the awkward situation Luke let go, a bit embarrassed of himself “Um, thanks for waking me up,” he just said and then feeling a bit worried he asked, “Did I say anything while I was asleep?” Worried that he might have said something he wasn’t sure he would have liked Mara to hear.

“Nothing I could understand really, I’ve been in here only for the past few minutes,” Mara answered and noticing her friend’s apprehensiveness she added “You didn’t share any secrets if that’s what you’re asking.” She soothed him with a bit of mischief showing in her voice.

Luke felt relieved and then asked, “You said you could feel my distress?”

“Yes, I did. I guess at some point in your nightmare you let your shields drop unconsciously, and then it was when I was able to sense you were all stressed out,” Mara explained “And please, don’t tell me that now you’re gonna have me coming after you not only when you get yourself into some trouble, but also to save you from your own bad dreams.” Sarcasm was now in her voice.

“Don’t worry, that is not going to happen,” Luke assured her “Besides I think I’m not the only one who gets into trouble often, you’ve had your share too. And who’s been there to get you out of it?” He reminded her.

“I know, I know.” She told him throwing a pillow at him, “You don’t have to rub that on my face.” Standing up she then thought of how distressed he had been a few minutes ago, while sleeping. “Are you sure it was just a bad dream? Mara asked suspiciously “Or it was one of those Jedi visions of yours?”

“It was just a dream.” Luke reassured her.

She relaxed and then added “Well, it certainly was a pretty vivid one too. You made quite a mess in here!” She gestured at the messed-up bedroom.

It was then that Luke noticed the disaster. Papers, clothing, holo frames and such laying everywhere. He certainly had done this while dreaming, perhaps the moment he was trying to use the Force in his dream.

“I guess I’m going to have a very busy day.” He said a bit discouraged.

“You can be scary at times Skywalker.” Mara mocked him while turning around to see the mess “Need a hand in here?”

“No, thanks.” Luke said, “I’ll have Artoo to help me –not that he’s gonna be glad.” He then hurriedly added “I better get ready, we’re late as it is.” He jumped out of bed and headed towards the fresher.

“Take it easy _Farmboy_ ,” Mara slowed him down “I suppose that, since we’re VERY late already, maybe we should skip to the next lesson. I’ll make you work double tomorrow.”

“I guess I don’t have much of a saying in this.” Luke half-complained.

“That’s right.” Mara pointed out “Now, go and get ready and I’ll wait for you in the gym. I’ll do the warm up on my own. There are several things I would like to check with you.”

“All right.” Luke answered amused. Who was the teacher and who was the student? He wondered.

Mara had always liked to have the lead, she was a natural leader… he liked to lead too… a bad combination! May be that was why they got into so many arguments, he thought.

She headed to the door. “So… do not tell me that yesterday’s race worn you out and made you sleep in today!” She teased him “Of course loosing is never an option, but I think you took it pretty well!”

“Believe me; I need a lot more than that to feel worn out. Yesterday’s race was a stroll in Coruscant’s Botanical Park.” Luke countered.

She picked up something suspicious in what he had just said “Did you let me win?” Mara asked giving him a menacing stare.

Luke just smiled to himself.

“I need to get ready,” he said changing the subject and closing the fresher’s door behind him. He didn’t want to get into an argument with Mara for such a trifle.

Mara let it pass, they we’re running late and there were several things to get done before the end of the day. She’ll go back to it some other time; Skywalker wouldn’t get out of the hook that easily. She turned serious; she could tell that there was something happening with the _Farmboy_ , but what? Maybe she was going to have to beat it out of him. Knowing Skywalker that would not be an easy task, but she had to try at least; she’ll find the right time to do it. She started down, preparing herself for another full day of instruction.

Once ready, Luke headed down to the Gym. Thank the Force it had just been a bad dream! It had felt so real though. Had it been just some random dream? Did that dream mean anything? Was it telling him something? He wasn’t sure; he’d have to meditate on that. For now, he had to put aside his worries, there was someone waiting for him and expecting to receive some training and he had to have his mind focused on that.

Another full day of training had just begun.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

It was a quiet, warm night. The activities at the Academy had come to an end for the day, students and teachers retiring to their quarters. Although it was a few hours after student curfew, a section in the main quarter’s level was still lit. The blinds were drawn, and a soft breeze came into the room through the open windows of the terrace in Luke’s apartment. His quarters were sober and functional, accentuated by the simple lines and neutral colors of the furniture in there. Not many decorations hang from the walls or lay on the surfaces; the atmosphere was modern and elegant, relaxed and comfortable. It had been a long day for Luke and Mara, their topic discussions tended to last long without any of them minding the time. Sitting at the table Luke and Mara enjoyed a late supper, one of their regular meals together at the end of a hard day of training.

As the days had gone by, Mara’s training had continued. They spent more time in the library now, going through ancient Jedi documents and findings from the holocrons. Mara studied extensively. Weeks and weeks had passed since that very first training session when Luke had disarmed her during their lightsaber practice and he could see that she was almost ready, which also meant that she would be leaving soon.

While enjoying their meals they found the small opportunity to relax a bit, talking about different topics from those of Jedi holocrons and techniques, also talking about more irrelevant matters.

“This is so much better than feeding on ration bars,” Mara said as she finished with her meal “You have spoiled me for good! After these months of sensible eating I’m going to look at ration bars in a whole new way.”

Luke chuckled at Mara’s remark while taking a sip of his drink, “Well, I’m gonna have to agree with you on that one! Nothing can beat a good meal after a hard day of training. I had my share of ration bars too, you know; during my years in the Alliance.”

“Yeah… being a soldier was never an easy thing,” Mara said in remembrance of those days of her own. She had been an elite soldier for most of her life until the fall of the Empire.

“Being a Jedi in not easy either…” Luke pointed out “…but it has more benefits.” he joked.

“Yeah right… like getting a Force choke when someone wants to get rid of you, or a personalized Force lighting treatment.” She mocked him when remembering Vader’s and Palpatine’s signature ‘treatments’.

“So much for Jedi benefits!” Luke answered half joking and half shivering at the memory.

“Still, I don’t know whether I’m gonna like it or not…” Mara kept teasing “…this ‘being a Jedi’ thing…”

“A little too late to be thinking about that, don’t you agree?” Luke pointed out, knowing that she was joking.

“Well, is just that I don’t know what I’m going to do with this entire superiority act, and with all that special treatment that sentient creatures give to you. And I’m talking about YOU in particular.” She teased.

“I don’t get special treatment.” Luke complained.

“Of course you do! And you also get the attention of an adoring audience.”

“Adoring audience…?”

“Come on _Farmboy_ ; don’t tell me that you haven’t noticed. You’re the most recognized face in the entire Galaxy. Every were you go you have your female fan club drooling all over you, and then you have the males who walk all over each other just to be first to show you their respect –out of either admiration or fear. They all treat you with such reverence!” She said amused by the thought.

“I haven’t noticed.” Luke said casually.

“Don’t be that modest, of course you’ve noticed!” she said not believing her friend for one second.

“I don’t like to think about it.” He shrugged.

“You don’t let things go up to your head, right?” she told him in amusement.

“I try not to.” He answered with a shy smile.

“Well, seriously Skywalker, I really don’t know how you handle it; all that attention. If that happened to me… surely a few death bodies would be found.” She addressed with her usual dark humor.

Luke smiled at her comment. “I’m not going to tell you that the life of a Jedi is easy, of course it has its drawbacks, like being on the spot most of the time as one of them; but it also has enormous rewards… rewards of personal nature; most of all, the satisfaction of doing what is right and of knowing that you’re making a difference.” He emphasized.

‘ _The Farmboy and his idealistic nature._ ’ Mara thought. “Maybe, but still is going to be hard for me. I’m used to working incognito and I hate recognition. So, don’t expect me to take it kindly.” She told him, being serious about it this time.

“You’ll do just fine, Mara.” Luke reassured her.

Although she didn’t show it, Luke knew Mara was worried about what becoming a Jedi represented, about the changes this would bring into her life; but he also knew that she was more than capable of dealing with that, and that she would also make a powerful Jedi when the time came. And thinking about powerful Jedi… he remembered he had something for her, something he had meant for her for a while now. Standing up he approached a small cabinet and extracted something from one of the drawers.

“I have something for you.” Luke told her putting a small piece of soft cloth on the table while taking his seat.

“A present?” Mara asked amused, noticing there was something wrapped inside the small piece of cloth. “That I know, today is not my birthday.” She joked.

“Consider it an advanced gift for your knighthood.” Luke said to her.     

A twinkle of curiosity showed in Mara’s eyes as she smiled with satisfaction while taking the small wrap in her hands, undoing it.

Mara looked at the object in her hands, “A lightsaber crystal!” she said in surprise when looking at the small sparkling gem. It was a crystalline, smooth, yellowish-orange gem.

“I found it during our last expedition to Dantooine. We went inside the abandoned Jedi Enclave on the planet and I brought this back with me. It’s a very good quality jewel, very rare and ancient. It should make for an excellent lightsaber,” Luke explained “I thought the color would suit you.” Luke finished giving her a warm smile.

Mara smiled with excitement, ‘ _A lightsaber crystal_ ’. This meant that the Master considered his Padawan skilled enough to start the construction of her own lightsaber, which also meant that the completion of her training was near.

“But… if it’s so rare… you could use it yourself.” She said hesitantly, realizing the importance of that little piece of sparkling rock.

Luke shook his head “I like mine and I wouldn’t change it for anything. I made it myself and it’s mystically attuned to my own power,” Luke explained “Don’t ask me how it happened because I really don’t know. Let’s say it’s one of those mysteries of the Force and leave it at that.” Then pointing at the jewel that Mara held in her hand he added “I kept this other jewel to give it to some other Jedi who could handle its power, which I believe you can, so it’s yours now.”

Mara couldn’t find what to say, something that was very much un-like her Luke realized, which meant that she was pleased.

After a few moments of silent appreciation of the gem she started, “When can I begin?”

“As soon as we go through the writings in the manuals together, just to make sure that you got everything right.” Luke told her.

Mara couldn’t hide the satisfaction in her smile. So, this was it! She was very close to becoming a Jedi.

Luke couldn’t help but to smile back at her, she looked so happy; happier than he’d ever seen her. Mara was about to complete her training, it had cost them so many years of fights and arguments, but finally she had realized the importance of the gift that the Force had given her, one she had to honor. She would become a Jedi and then… she would be gone; not gone from his life, of course… but he wasn’t sure of how often he’d be able to see her; - it had been two years the last time they stopped seeing each other. He thought of this while a heavy, dark pain squeezed his heart. Yes, she was going to leave, and he was going to say goodbye… graciously.

Mara noticed the change in his mood “Jedi, what’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing is wrong,” he simply answered.

“I don’t believe you,” Mara said.

“I’m all right, Mara. I guess I’m just tired.”

Him tired before her? Very unlikely. “I don’t believe that one either.” She said staring at him.

Luke stared back at her “We’re not going to get into an argument for this, aren’t we? I’m fine.” He stressed.

“So, you don’t trust me?” She knew there was something there.

“Mara, you know better than that. There’s nothing to tell, that’s all!”

“Well, I don’t believe you for one second… you’ve been acting very strange lately _Farmboy_ ; but you know what, I’m going to drop the subject just because it’s getting late and I’m very tired and I don’t want to lose a night of sleep trying to get it out of you; because I know just how stubborn you can get.”  She told him harshly.

Luke just hated it when Mara talked to him like that, but he was not going to fall for it because he knew exactly what she was doing… trying to make him loose his temper to have him spill out everything before he knew it. Making a supreme effort he kept quiet.

“All right… I guess I should get going then.” Mara said in disappointment at not getting what she expected.

“See you tomorrow, Mara. And thank you for your company.” Luke said politely.

She picked up her things and headed to the door followed by Luke.

“Thanks for the crystal,” Mara thanked him, feeling grateful for one part, but for the other still upset at the Jedi’s inscrutable attitude.

He just nodded. The door closed behind Mara and he was left alone in his apartment.

Luke let out a sigh of anger and desperation, then dropped on the couch. Yes, he’d been acting strange lately, on that she was right; but how was he going to tell her that she was the main reason for all his strange behavior? Maybe it was best if he just told her all about it; they were good friends after all. They had confided things to each other –about their jobs, their past… Mara had been there for him when Callista left him… Yes, they had been through a lot together, which in a way made her the natural option for him to establish a romantic relationship with… No! He could not do that! He would not bring his burdens on her. He would not allow it! He would protect her at any cost, even if it meant that he had to give her up.

Luke stared at the ceiling with a deep feeling of uneasiness in his heart. He wasn’t even sure of what Mara’s feelings towards him were anyways. He knew she liked him and all; that she considered him a close friend, although she would not admit that out loud –that was Mara; but more than that… he didn’t know.

He continued with his musings and without noticing it, he fell asleep.

 

oOo

 

Soft little noises made him come out of his dreaming and a small chilly breeze made him roll on one of his sides and cuddle against the cushions. He reached for the covers… where were them? He opened his eyes and realized that the place where he laid was not his bed. It was morning and he was lying on the couch. ‘ _Blast it!’_ He’d fallen asleep on the couch, and for the amount of light coming in through the windows… He sat up abruptly, getting rid of his drowsiness immediately; he could tell that he was running late already… ‘ _Blast it! And blast it again!!!’_ Quickly standing up he looked at his chrono… he could still make it! And he’d better hurry up or he’d never hear the end of it! Why couldn’t he just handle things the usual way when Mara was around? It seemed like she had just come into his life to complicate it in every way... or maybe he complicated his own life himself. He ran to the bed chamber and jumped into the shower.

Luke knew that Mara would be particularly moody today, given the fact that she hadn’t left happy last night. She had left thinking that he didn’t trust her, and that was bad. He hurried his steps giving long strides while walking through the corridors leading to the Library. Of course, he would not let any of the students or teachers in the Academy see him running like a stray bantha all over the place; it was a matter of principle, of personal pride.

Even if this meant having another argument with Mara.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

The corridors of the academy were already busy with teachers and students making their way to their morning lessons. The population of the Praexeum was shaped by a variety of sentient beings of different gender, age and species. The Force didn’t make distinctions, and every potential Jedi with enough will and commitment to pursue a life of service was always welcome to join the Order. As they moved about their business they could not help but to notice the passing figure of the beautiful, slender woman walking by. She wore her clothes well, with her perfect posture and confident walk. Her stunning beauty, sparkling red-gold hair and strong personality could not pass unnoticed. They all knew who she was, Mara Jade, the former Emperor’s Hand and now current padawan of Master Skywalker. They had observed her while training and they had grown to respect her for her unquestionable Jedi skills. Still she was an enigma to all of them; there was an aura of mystery enveloping her.

Mara knew they were all discretely glancing at her; it had been happening since the very first day she arrived. She found it –to her own surprise, kind of amusing. She knew she was not the kind of person that one would miss easily –lack of self-confidence was not one of the aspects of her personality; of course, she could hide her attributes whenever she needed it -she had been and elite spy once and she excelled at going undetected, but there was no need of being undetected around here, so she let herself be. Throughout the years, her looks had worked to her advantage in numerous occasions; her targets never suspected that such a pretty thing could get so nasty, so fast. So, for her the way she looked was just another tool, one she had been able to mold and use at will. As she walked by she got looks of recognition without any attempts of a greeting; better that way. She hadn’t interacted with the rest of the students much, not time to do so and no interest on her part either. Mara was everything but social, not that she didn’t know how to socialize -that was a skill she had learned well in Emperor Palpatine’s court, she just wasn’t interested in doing small-talk or having unmeaning conversations.

She thought of Luke on her way to the Library, of how he had evaded her last night. What was he keeping from her? She felt very upset at him for doing so. Something was wrong with him. She just knew it! Why was the _Farmboy_ hiding things? And what those things were? He’d been acting strange since the very first day she arrived. It had to be something really bad for him to be trying so hard to hide. Because she could tell that something was troubling him deeply, and for the looks of it, it certainly had to do with him and his connection to the Force. Yes, it had to be! That was why he was so reluctant to talk about it. The line between light and dark was a very fine one, maybe all those ‘experiments’ of his had started to go wrong and he was having a hard time trying to find his way back.

She thought back to when she first met him… then she thought about all those incredibly wild things she had seen him pull out when summoning his full command of the Force. Over the years she had witnessed how more and more powerful he had become and how incredibly fast he was able to master new skills, he was just like a living sun with the Force gravitating around him. She had talked to him about it and persuaded him about how dangerous walking in unknown regions of the Force could be; but the headstrong _Farmboy_ would just not listen to her, always giving himself the credit that he had everything under control. He just took too many risks for her taste. He was too overconfident, and probably his excessive confidence in his ability to handle his own power had finally turned on him.

‘ _Mmmmh… but I haven’t…_ ’ Still, she had not felt the distinctive dense, wicked aura of the dark side coming from him –a characteristic of the dark side she knew all too well… so probably he was not too far into the dark, then it was not too late… or probably he was just shielding himself from her better than she expected. ‘ _That’s a happy thought._ ’ She sarcastically told herself. What if Skywalker had finally gone over the edge? Then he needed help for sure but was just being stubbornly proud to ask for it. Well, that had to end… for the sake of the Galaxy.

Mara reached the Library and entered the private study room her and Luke had been taking for the past days. She took a sit and looked at her chrono; it was time and no sign of the Jedi. She was about to reach for her com link when she heard the mute sound of the door sliding open, she looked up to find a smiling Luke entering the room.

“Good morning,” Luke greeted. He had over slept this morning, and he had been worried about getting late to their lesson; but he had made it… barely.

“Morning,” a non-enthusiastic Mara greeted back.

Just as he expected, Luke thought. After what had happened last night, he already knew Mara wasn’t going to be in a good mood today.

“Did you finish with your readings?” he asked in a casual tone, like if nothing was happening.

“Yes, I did.” Mara answered plainly.

“Any comments?”

“No, everything is crystal clear.” Mara said with a little bit of sarcasm.

“All right, we shall continue then.” Luke prompted, ignoring the intention in her voice. “Last night I promised you that we would go through the lightsaber construction manuals together, so that’s what we’ll be doing today; after doing that, we can pick up our last topic of conversation.”

“Sure, like you would like to do that.” Mara muttered loud enough to make sure she could be heard.

Luke just pretended not to have heard that -of course she was referring to their last night’s unfinished conversation; and for his own matter, unfinished was the way it was going to stay.

He turned the holo-projector on and started the class. Once they got going the tenseness in Mara washed away as she concentrated on her lessons. As for Luke, he never had a problem when assuming his teaching role; it just fitted him right, he was a natural.

They continued with the instruction for the most part of the day. Going through the construction techniques for the lightsaber took them all morning, but by the afternoon they had switched to some other pending topics. Not wanting to distract themselves they had a light lunch brought over as they continued.

It was late afternoon already and they still had a few more hours to go before they could call it quits. Several stacks of data cards were already on the study table, along with some ancient books. Luke called a small break, so they could rest and stretch their legs a little.

Luke paced the room while Mara observed him with interest. She leaned back on her sit, legs stretched and hands on her lap.

“Skywalker… Do you realize just how powerful you are?” Mara asked out of the blue.

Luke was taken aback by her sudden question.

Mara continued “I’ve been around very powerful Force users most of my life, but you really blow my mind. The things you do… and the things you don’t do, but that I know you could actually do.”

“What do you mean?” Luke asked her still not recovering from his surprise, joining her at the study table.

“Tell me… What would happen if you go bad some day?” She asked, testing him.

“Mara… you know I wouldn’t do such thing.” Luke answered a bit defensively. Why was she asking him that?

“Wouldn’t you?” Mara looked carefully for any revealing sign on his features “Remember what you were doing the day I arrived at the Academy?” Luke nodded, and she continued, “You mentioned something about touching points in between light and dark. What if you go too dark in one of those experiments of yours? Would you be able to make it back?”

“Mara, I already told you I have everything under control.” Luke explained. They had been through this already the very day she arrived. Why did she keep pushing it?

“Do you?” She asked pressing the subject. “Don’t you think that risking yourself in that way is a little bit irresponsible on your part?”

Luke still did not understand where Mara wanted to get at. “Why are you asking me this? What’s wrong?”

“I just want to make sure that you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into.” Mara stated.

Luke just looked back at her with a mixture of annoyance and confusion. What was she talking about?

“What are you saying Mara?”

“I’m saying that you rely too much on the Force?”

“Of course, I do.” Luke answered matter-of-factly.

“That’s not what I mean… I mean that you get too flashy sometimes when tapping on the Force… and that you enjoy that all powerful-Jedi-Master-show too much.” She scolded him.

Luke made a frown. Was she calling him a show-off?

Mara decided to make things clearer to him, leaning forward on her sit and crossing her arms on the table she continued “You’ve been acting very –and I mean VERY strange lately and you’ve been shielding from me like you’d never done before. Then it got me thinking that maybe there is something there you really don’t want me to find out, so you’re being extra careful with your shields. And why would that be? Is it because that little dark part of you has awakened?” She made a pause studying his reaction. “Jedi, if you need help all you have to do is ask.” She added.

“I can’t believe you’re telling me this…” Luke told her incredulous “Do you really believe that?”

_‘So, according to Mara he needed help… from what?’_

“Stop evading the facts _Farmboy_!”

_‘And he was evading things...’_

“If your power gets out of control… Who is going to be able to stop you?” She warned.

_‘Now he needed to be stopped…’_

“If you’re in a bad spot right now… then just stop! Stop using the Force for a while, until you find middle ground.”

_‘And now she was telling him what to do…’_

This was getting frustrating… and upsetting.

“I haven’t gone dark, Mara! Because that’s what you’re accusing me of…” Luke countered after recovering from his shock “I’ve been there already some years ago thank you, and I’m not crossing that line ever again.” He said raising his voice a couple of decibels “What has gotten into you that has made you believe that?”

“Well, maybe I just have enough reasons to ask for an explanation.” Mara told him starting to get angry at his denial and raising her own voice a little more.

“An explanation?” Luke exclaimed indignant. Now he was the one starting to get angry.

“ _Farmboy_ , you can’t deny that things are getting a bit out of hand.” She told him confident of what she was saying but feeling annoyed by Skywalker’s attitude.

“No, I can’t deny that… because nothing is wrong!!!”

“I don’t believe you!” She snapped back.

“Well, you’re gonna have to start believing me, Mara!”

“Or what Skywalker? I am serious, the last thing the Galaxy needs is a second Emperor!”

That was it!! Luke just flared up.

“What! What is it what you want Mara?” He asked her in frustration and quite yelling this time. What were her reasons to accuse him like that?

Mara rolled her eyes. Why was he still denying it? She also felt frustrated and yelled back “I just want you to realize that you’re in very dangerous ground right now, _Farmboy_ ; and that you need to do something about it. The Galaxy does not need a dark-Force-user psycho going berserk destroying everything in his way.”

He stared at her, not believing what he was hearing “Mara, are you afraid of me?”

“I’m just afraid of what you CAN do.”

His lip twitched. Leaning towards her, he looked at her straight in the eye, his eyes hard on her.

“Do you think I don’t know what I’m capable of?” He asked her with a mean edge in his voice “Of course I know what I’m capable of!!! It haunts me every day! I know I can twist minds, break in wills, make hearts stop and rip bodies apart… I can manipulate entire worlds… and all that with a simple thought of my mind. Of course, I KNOW what I CAN DO!!!” he challenged her.

They both stared at each other. Mara set her jaw but didn’t say anything.

He leaned back and took a very deep breath trying to calm down, then he added “The thing is whether I would do it. Whether I would choose to do it” Luke continued lowering his voice and going beyond with his suppositions “But, if it came down to it… and considering what you already know about the reach of the dark side… Do you really think there would be someone able to stop me? Or even less likely: end me?” Luke said harshly.

She glared at him, her hands contracting into tight fists “Don’t make me wish I had done that when I had the chance.” Mara almost whispered coldly using a menacing tone.

Luke looked at her with immense hurt in his eyes. How could she articulate such hurtful words?

They just sat there, in silence. 

Mara felt a turmoil of thoughts and emotions starting to cramp up inside and tears that started to well up in her eyes. Why did she want to cry? She never cried! No, she was not going to cry. Not in front of him.

Luke noticed the glitter in her eyes. He tried to reach out and find out what was going on, only to find she had put up barriers as thick as massassi trees. He could get past through those barriers using the Force if he wanted to… No, he would never do such thing. Not to her, not to anyone.

He broke the silence, his voice now calm.

“Mara… we’re just jumping at each other over suppositions. The truth is that neither of us can know what’s going to happen in the future. What I do know is that the one person capable of preventing something that terrible from happening… it’s me. That’s why I keep myself in check all the time… that’s why I started this Jedi Order. In here we’re training good Jedi to act as peace keepers and negotiators, and to keep an eye on other Jedi; to watch our backs.” He reassured her.  

Mara found her voice, “You and your stupid Jedi Order!” she accused him, scorn in her voice and not one single tear dropping from her eyes.

“I should remind you that you are a part of it now.”  Luke told her severely, feeling offended at her comment.

“Maybe I don’t want to be part of it anymore!” Mara challenged.

Luke’s expression hardened. “Are you telling me that you’re dropping?”

“Am I a slave to this Organization?” she asked with her purest sarcasm.

“No, you’re not.” He answered simply, hurt in his eyes.

“Then I can leave whenever I choose to.” Mara finished cynically.

“I guess you can.” Luke said upset. On reflex he stood up turning his back to her.

Suddenly there was an ice-cold silence in the room. Mara reached into one of her pockets and held the gem Luke had just given her the night before. She put it on the table in front of her.

“So long…. Master.”

Luke pursed his lips and closed his eyes at her mentioning of those words. Standing still, not turning around.

She stood up and left the room, leaving the jewel and a very hurt Luke behind.

He heard her leave as he felt a deep hole forming in his heart and soul. Slowly he turned around and took his sit. He leaned back and as he did, he spotted the sparkling rock lying on the table. He sat there, staring at the glittering gem. Why did Mara think he was turning to the dark side? Of course, he’d been doubtful about his own fate lately, but he was all right, no dark had taken possession of him. He needed her to believe in him. Why she didn’t trust him anymore? Why was she so paranoid all of a sudden? He shook his head trying to clear his mind. He knew she was leaving for sure. Well, being away from her might do him good… having her around was so intoxicating that he couldn’t think straight. Maybe it was better this way, maybe Mara being a Jedi was not meant to be… probably it had been just him clinging to the illusion. Maybe this was the will of the Force, and if this was its will then... there was nothing he could do.

 

oOo

 

Mara headed straight to the hangar area. She would get her ship and get out of there right in that very moment. Later she would have her things picked up by Aves or someone in one of their regular supply runs. She did not want to stay with Skywalker for one more second. If he wanted to ruin his life –and the lives of those around him, then so be it! She was just going to make sure she was as far away as possible when that happened.

She walked hurriedly towards her ship. On her way to the hangar area she ran into an unexpected presence. She cursed under her breath when spotting the figure of the woman. Tionne –the Jedi Scholar, was standing right in front of her. She was one of the head Jedi in the Academy; Luke had introduced them when she first arrived. Tionne was among the group of head Jedi they used to have lunch with regularly. The Jedi Scholar was known for her warm, kind nature; and students seemed to like her a lot and prefer her over some of the other teachers.

“Padawan Jade,” Tionne greeted.

“Scholar,” Mara greeted back.

“Are you heading to the hangar bay at this hour?” Tionne asked puzzled. Then she noticed the other’s uneasiness. “What is it Mara?” She asked concerned.

“My training is over,” Mara said trying to be polite and patient at the same time, something she wasn’t feeling like doing at the very moment.

Tionne made a gesture of surprise “But I thought your training wasn’t over until a few more weeks…”

“I decided to cut it short.”  Mara cut in briskly.

“But, you can’t leave…” Tionne told her in disappointment.

“Oh, sure I can!” she said in her usual sardonic self-confidence.

Tionne could not sense anything coming from Mara, of course she knew the red-headed woman was shielding, but that intuition of her own was telling her something. Tionne was probably not as powerful as the other Jedi in the Academy, but she had refined her limited abilities in those areas where others did not pay attention, “Did you have an argument with Master Skywalker?” She asked.

Losing her characteristic coolness Mara could not hide her face of displeasure.

“So, you did.” Tionne said, taking Mara’s expression as an answer.

“What if I did?” Mara told her defensively, “Anyways, I’ve just had enough of this place… and enough of HIM!” she added unable to hide her frustration.

Tionne looked at her with understanding eyes.

‘ _The last thing I need is this she-Jedi trying to be my friend.’_ Mara thought to herself. “Good bye Scholar.” She nodded, and then turned the way she had intended to go in the first place and started walking.

“He loves you, you know.” Tionne called after her in her soft, calm voice.

Mara stopped, and without turning she said out loud “And how in the worlds would you know that?” This woman was really a pest.

“I’ve noticed…” Tionne made a short pause “…and I think you love him too.”

Mara felt a surge of rage going up to her face ‘ _How can she dare! To insinuate something like that…!_ ’ She turned around to face the Scholar and letting out one of her sarcastic snorts she mocked “Yeah, right. Is playing match-maker one of those extra-curricular abilities you’ve developed?”

There was no change in Tionne’s expression. The expression of the one who knows to be on the knowing side of things.

Mara pursed her lips. She didn’t need this! Without saying a word, she turned on her heels and headed to her ship.

As she went up the ramp she was greeted by her Veeone unit. Making her way through the space craft she gave the little droid all the proper instructions to start the pre-flight checks. She reached the cockpit and let herself drop into the pilot’s seat.

‘ _How does she dare to talk to me like that?!!_ ’ Mara felt outraged.

As the minutes went by Mara finally started to calm down, then she thought back on what had just happened. She had had a big fight with the Jedi… again, and she had thrown everything at his face. Then she had this little encounter with the Jedi Scholar… Why had she felt so affected by what Tionne had said for that matter? She should have just laughed her head out at her comment, not getting angry! She had been rude to Tionne too, just because the woman had spoken her mind. Why would she care about having hurt the other woman’s feelings? This was unbearable!! She just wanted to kick herself! And she wanted to kick herself even more because she had turned into an absolute soft-hearted-moron since she’d arrived to this place. And she just hated it!!! That was Skywalker’s fault! When EVER before was she concerned about hurting anybody’s feelings? Feelings… That was something she didn’t need… Feelings only got you into trouble… She did not want to feel anything!

She sat there for a long time, looking out the cockpit’s transparisteel window… Watching the sun set on Yavin IV’s jungle, immersed in her reflections.

Why had she come back here in the first place? What was with her and ever thinking of becoming a Jedi? The very thing she had been taught to hate the most in the entire Galaxy. The one thing she so very well knew Palpatine had dedicated half his life to destroy. She really didn’t need to master Jedi skills, he had done without them most of her life and she’d been more that capable of surviving the most dangerous situations -She had been trained for survival already. And after what she knew the damned Force could do to those who dabbled with it, why would she want to learn to use it?

The Force had done terrible things to those she had cared for… Yes, she had cared for the Emperor, he was the closest thing to a father she had ever known; and his use of the Force had twisted him so badly and had turned him into that very monster she was now afraid Skywalker would become. She had witnessed what Palpatine and Vader had done while using the power of the Force, and what the Force in return had done to them…

But Skywalker was different from the late Emperor, and from Vader –in spite of the blood lines. The _Farmboy_ had this aura of light around him… and the goodness in his heart. Back when they met he had believed in her instead of disposing of her like the enemy of war that she had been. There was greatness to him that she hadn’t seen in any other man, greatness much different from that of Palpatine… a greatness that radiated from a different place… Perhaps, he would never turn bad… Perhaps, he would overcome the rough patch he was going through… Then there was nothing to be worried about.

Then why was she so worried about him anyways?!!

Why would she care for what happened to him? He could certainly take care of himself! He was a grown man and knew better, he could make his own decisions. Still… she didn’t want anything bad happening to him. The thought of something going wrong with him just drove her crazy! She knew she got mad when someone tried to hurt him; she had become very protective of him. She had also trusted him with her life. Of course, he was the one person capable of making her loose her cool, but she could also forgive him almost anything. Well, they were friends after all and friends did that…

 _‘But friends don’t feel currents of electricity running up their spine when the other approaches…’_ She could hear a little voice telling her this in the back of her mind, ‘… _or get lost into the others eyes when they make eye contact… neither they realize the other has a sparkling smile and a birth mark on the corner of their mouth, and a beautiful dimple on their chin…_ ’ the little voice continued ‘ _…or notice the temperature on their skin and its own nice scent… or keep smiling to themselves when they think of the other!…’_  on reflex she suppressed the smile she already had on her face. No, no, no, this could not be!!!

 “O.K. Just stop it!!!”  She told out loud to herself waving her hands in the air.

She looked at her reflection on the transparisteel window, an expression of anguish and fear on her face. Why had she really come to the Academy? It was just so hard and painful to admit… She had come because…

Because… she loved him…

Mara’s heart pounded in her chest at her realization. Yes, she loved him! It just felt right! She was hopelessly in love with him! But she had never loved anyone!! How could she know that it was love what she felt?

She just knew.

Mara didn’t know whether to feel joyous or terrified at her realization… maybe she was feeling both. She was such a coward!! Why hadn’t she admitted her feelings before? She had come to the Academy because she wanted to be with him! That was the plain and simple truth. And… What about him? What did he feel for her?

Then she remembered Tionne’s words. What if the Scholar was right? Right about the Jedi being in love with her too. Could that be? She thought of his protectiveness towards her, how he always managed to have time for her in spite of his busy schedule, his uneasiness when Lando was around, the many times he had put himself in danger to pull her out of scary situations, how he had spoken on her defense every time any New Republic puritan had tried to bring up her shady past… So many gestures she had thought of as tokens of chivalry or friendship; then their time together training here at his Academy… The rainbow shower, his blushing at her mentioning the beauty of his smile, the jewel he had given her, his reluctance to tell her what was wrong with him…  What if he did love her and he’d just been hiding his true feelings from her? Could that explain his late strange behavior? She thought about it for a few seconds… and then it clicked.

A whisper came out of her mouth “Of course!” she realized sinking her face in her hands. This was so embarrassing! She had gotten it all wrong! How could she just have missed that? Well, the Jedi was shielding all the time and there was no way she would have been able to go past his shields… Then she thought of all the things she just had said to him… ‘ _Oh, sithspit!’_ She had thought that the _Farmboy_ ’s strange behavior had something to do with him getting hooked into using the dark side… and she had been accusing him about it so shamelessly just a while ago. ‘ _Force!’_ He had every reason to be absolutely mad at her!

She had to fix it! She had to tell him she had made a mistake. Skywalker already knew how bad she was at dealing with feelings and affections and such… He knew she was a complete mess! So, if he really knew her –as she was sure he did, then he would understand! Yes, he would do that.

Abruptly Mara stood up from her seat. She had to go back to Skywalker; they needed to talk… now!

“Veeone… shut all systems down.” Mara acknowledged the droid and headed towards the exit.

By the time she stepped out the ship it was already dark. Probably she would still find him in the Library. She walked down the ramp of the Jade’s Fire with strong determination.

She was about to face the most challenging confrontation of her entire life.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

The large main door slid open letting into view the long, symmetric aisles that made their way through the building, accentuated by the sober lighting. She walked pass the tall data card cases that kept thousands and thousands of data cards filled with all kinds of known information and history about the Galaxy and the Jedi. While walking past the common areas she regarded some droids that were still wandering around carrying out the chore of setting everything back in place. Every student and teacher that had been around a couple of hours earlier -researching and studying, were already gone; probably back to their regular night activities and unwinding from a busy day of schooling. The place was solemnly quiet; she could hear her heart pounding in her ears. The Library was already empty, but she sensed his presence in there. Skywalker was still at the same place where she had left him.

She reached the study room, opened the door and stepped in. She found Luke leaning back on his chair with his legs up on the study table, arms crossed on his chest; looking directly at her. He had sensed her coming back for sure, Mara thought, and he looked upset –maybe she had come back too soon. Well, his mood was of no importance, they had to talk.

She stood there in front of him across the table, not knowing how to start saying what she wanted to say; setting everything straight had looked like a good idea a while ago, now she wasn’t so sure. Putting her hands on her waist she looked around before setting her eyes on the Jedi. She got a hard-blue gaze in return. ‘ _Blast it!’_ Swallowing her pride was the most difficult thing in the galaxy.

“I’ve come a long way already,” she finally started “I want to finish what I began.” she reluctantly admitted.

Luke, putting his legs down, straightened on his sit. “I understand,” he said in a serious manner “I’ll have Kyp to finish your training. He’s one of my most talented Jedi; you should be all right with him.” No emotion could be deciphered on his features.

Deep inside Luke was glad to see her back. Maybe Mara was meant to become a Jedi after all, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t still hurt for what she had just accused him of. He was also a bit embarrassed and upset at himself for his reaction to Mara a few hours ago. He just had lost it! Where all that ‘There’s no anger, there’s only calm’ mantra had been a while ago? He was supposed to be a Jedi Master for the Force’s sake! He was not supposed to snap at the slightest provocation. This thing about his feelings towards Mara was really getting to him. He certainly didn’t have things under control as he had been thinking all these months; he was affected by his feelings far more from what he was willing to admit. That was the thing about Mara; he could behave in unpredictable ways when being around her. He needed to step aside and assigning Kyp to finish her training was the wisest thing he could think of at the moment. He had to put himself together and he needed to start now. Not minding Mara’s presence in the room, he got himself busy gathering the data cards that laid on the study table.

Mara gritted her teeth. ‘ _Why had this had to be this difficult?’_  “Listen… Luke…”

He looked up at her. Had she just called him ‘Luke’? He noticed with interest. The blue gaze softened. She had gotten his full attention.

“I want YOU to complete my training?” Mara asked. “I would like that.” She painfully admitted.

“So, I’m not a gone-berserk, dark-side-user psycho anymore?” Luke calmly asked her with certain hurt in his voice.

“I apologize for what I said a while ago. I didn’t mean those things.” She said, feeling the words hurt when they came out through her mouth.

 “Actually, I think you did mean them.” Luke objected “Really Mara, are you so scared and worried about me becoming the scourge of the Galaxy? That I won’t be able to keep myself in check? After all we’ve been through together, why you don’t trust me?”

“I do trust you! I just got very mad at you because I was so sure of what I believed, and you kept on denying it!” She explained “And also I just couldn’t bear hearing you saying those things. I don’t like you talking that way! Is just that……” She had things to say, personal things… If she only could bring herself to do it.

“So, you had everything figured out already,” Luke told her with a bit of disappointed sarcasm.

“You can’t deny that you have been acting strange lately.”  Mara defended herself.

Well, on that she was right, Luke thought. He gave a sigh; there was no point in continuing with this, he wasn’t even angry anymore. The truth was that seeing Mara walking through the door had been enough to make him feel better immediately. “It’s all right, Mara. I’m also sorry for the way I reacted; just… Let’s forget all about it. Please, forgive me.” He looked at her with a sincere apology in his eyes. “We’ll continue with this in the morning.” He felt very tired.

He stood up with the intention of leaving; it had been a very long day already.

“No! Wait…” Mara firmly stopped him. “…I have things to say and I need you to listen.” She threatened. She had made up her mind and she needed to see it through.

Luke nodded. Slowly he sat back on his sit, not taking his eyes off her. What was this all about? He wondered.

Mara looked around not knowing how to start. “Well… You’ve been acting very strange lately…” She went back a few lines in their conversation “…And all I could think of was of something very wrong going on with you… You where shielding so strongly from me, it just felt so strange!” she explained, “…But I admit it was me who was wrong.”

‘ _So, she was admitting she had gotten everything wrong…_ ’ Luke thought to himself ‘ _Interesting._ ’

“I guess I said all those things out of fear…” Mara confessed, conceding defeat.

Luke wondered what she was talking about and noticed that the eloquent, witty, sharp thinker Mara Jade was having a hard time speaking her mind now.

Mara found her next line “It just scares me to death to think about what would happen to you if you were to turn to the dark side.” She said concerned “I saw what it did to Palpatine and Vader, and the things they did while using it. All the suffering they caused… I just don’t want that to happen to you. I don’t want you to share their same fate… I don’t want you to suffer!” she stressed.

Luke understood his friend’s concern -Him going bad was not a thought he was unfamiliar with. He had struggled with the thought many times already, a thought that had haunted him for most of his Jedi life.

Mara carefully continued, “… But I’ve done some thinking… and I’ve realized a few things. I know now that although you’re very powerful in the Force, you’re also the strongest person I’ve ever known Luke… and because of that you’ll be able to hold yourself together, because you have the strength to do so. There is good in your nature. Your light is so bright, there’s no darkness inside of you… Not the kind that Palpatine or Vader had. So, you’re gonna be all right.” She smiled weakly, feeling confident about her words and opening a bit to him.

 Luke gave her a soft smile in return, feeling her confidence. “Thank you, Mara. It means a lot to me hearing you saying that.” Suddenly he felt lighter, some heavy weight had just been taken off his shoulders at Mara’s mentioning of her renewed trust.

She gave him a warning look. She wasn’t finished yet, she still had things to say… Luke picked up the message and kept quiet.

“I just panicked I guess… and you know I never panic!” she pointed out.

Luke nodded. She was right about that; if there was someone capable of keeping calm when things went very wrong, that one was her. She continued.

“And I’ve also realized a few things about myself.” She started fidgeting, just a little. “So, this… brings me down to what I’m really afraid of…”

Luke looked back at her with certain wonder and curiosity. Why had Mara’s sense changed?

“…I’m afraid of just how much I care about you, Luke.” She said simply.

He froze in his sit, not quite sure of what meaning he was supposed to give to her words; still his face didn’t give away anything.

Unable to contain her nervousness –a nervousness she was trying hard to hide behind a screen of false self-confidence, Mara started pacing the room while she kept talking. Words coming out a little bit fast from her mouth.

“You’re the only sentient being in the Galaxy who really knows me, and who actually knows things about me -about my past and all. I like it that you don’t judge me, you just take me the way I am. I also like to spend time with you, you’re my friend… you’re very important to me.” She made a short pause to catch her breath, she needed to slow down, then looked at him, “I just think of how mad I get when someone tries to touch one single hair on your head, and how it bothers me that you never give yourself a break or take care of yourself…” this last words came out of her mouth a bit angrily, “…I just can’t stand the fact that you put everyone else first.”

She stopped pacing and stood in front of him, struggling to phrase the next sentence. She took a deep breath.

“Luke you’re the one person that can drive me mad crazy and also the one that can make me come back to my senses when I lose it completely… You’re actually the only one I really listen to -although it might look like I don’t.” She snorted trying to ease her nerves “I also know that I fight you a lot… and over nothing most of the time. But I guess it’s just my survival mechanism that gets triggered when you get too close…” She looked at him “…I’m not used to being close to anybody. I’ve evaded closeness my whole life!” ‘ _Would she ever come down to it?!’_   She scolded herself making a mental note and then continued, “The truth is… That I’m afraid of the woman I become when you’re around…”

Luke stared at her astonished, this was a side of Mara he had never seen. ‘ _Was she telling him how much she cared about him?’_   Well, this was certainly an enormous breakthrough for her. He felt like he couldn’t move, think or breathe.

“…and the thought of doing something stupid while I’m under the influence of your presence just terrifies me… I don’t normally care for others Skywalker, but you have this effect on me… I soften when you’re around… I feel so vulnerable and I just rebel against the feeling and fight it back!” She shook her head while saying it and calmed herself down; she needed to get to the point. Her voice softened as she continued “I always wondered why I felt this strong obligation towards you… now I know is not obligation what keeps me coming back… it’s…”

She braced herself “…it’s that I’ve fallen for you.” She finished giving him a hopeful look… a look that also had the tint of the weariness she felt.

She had just lost and won a battle with herself.

Luke said nothing; he was in some sort of shock. He noticed he had been holding his breath for the last few seconds and started breathing back again. He had never heard Mara talking like this, it was something so new to him and probably it was also new to her. Sensing Mara’s struggle he looked at her in amazement as she stood there in front of him, as beautiful as she had never been. Could Mara Jade -the former Emperor’s Hand, ever look helpless? She did now.

Mara waited for his reaction, she could not detect one thing coming from him. Had she said what she intended to say? Probably she hadn’t since he didn’t look like he had gotten the message. Maybe she should try it some other way… Before she did or say anything, the Jedi stood up and decisively walked towards her. Mara readied herself for a well-deserved lecture. 

But Luke didn’t say anything. Reaching out he cupped her face in his hands and looked at her with an unspoken _‘I love you’_ in his eyes… And then kissed her passionately.

It was a mind-blowing kiss that took her breath away. For Mara the whole Universe stopped, she lost her sense of time and space. A wave of emotions went right through her, emotions that irradiated from his very core. The touch of his lips on hers was the sweetest thing she had ever experienced, so warm and tender; she never thought he could also be this seductive. The Jedi was full of contradictions. She felt she had never wanted a man this much before! She just wanted to hold him tight and be lost into his embrace forever.

Luke kissed her with all the emotion he was capable of, with all the joy his heart was experiencing at that very moment. She loved him! Mara loved him! His heart was singing it over and over again! She hadn’t actually said it, but he could feel it. This incredibly amazing woman was in love with him, just as much as he was head over heels for her. He let go slowly and looked for a reaction in Mara’s eyes while running his fingertips on her beautiful face, her eyes still closed.

Slowly Mara opened her eyes and looking back at him she smiled. Impulsively she grabbed him by the collar of his tunic and pulled him towards her kissing him back with a passion of her own, giving him a deep passionate kiss with the clear signature of her intense and complex personality. She pushed him back and trapped him against a data card case nearby, pressing her body against his. Luke responded her kiss in a similar way, wrapping her in his arms and holding her tight against his own body. It just felt incredibly good to finally release years of sexual tension, it was… liberating!

He deepened his kisses as he felt desire taking hold of him. This time he just let himself be driven by his own held-back-for-too-long feelings, letting them flow free without any restrain; he wanted this woman and he wanted her now. He could feel Mara’s desire in every kiss; he could feel her reacting at his every touch, her response at every feeling.

Their mouths came apart, staying close from each other’s, both breathing hard and smiling.

“Let’s get out of here.” He invited her in a low voice.

Mara nodded with mischief on her smile.

Taking her by the hand Luke leaded her through the corridors of the Academy heading to his quarters. When they reached his door he hurriedly hit the door panel. Right after crossing the doorway he softly pulled her towards him and kissed her again, while the door silently closed behind them. There was so much lost time to catch up with, so many kisses and touches that had waited so long to be given away… so many emotions to be felt. Feeling… that was something they had kept themselves from doing all these years; feelings towards each other that hadn’t been acknowledged. They were realizing all of this now, and as they did so, they felt all their worries and fears slipping away. The connection they shared through the Force felt stronger than ever.

Lightsabers were unclipped, utility belts were unfastened, zippers and buttons undone as they headed towards the bed chamber, leaving a trail of clothing behind; while passionate kissing and caressing was underway. They reached the bed chamber and let themselves fall on the bed, continuing with their ritual of pleasure giving and taking.

 He delighted himself with the touch of her sinuous forms… her skin was so soft, her scent so sweet, her mouth so inviting… and this was her, the woman he loved. He wanted to give her everything, his whole life, his entire being. He belonged with her, he knew that now.

She never expected that this much passion laid underneath all that Jedi collectiveness and she was glad to be proven wrong once more. The feel of his strong body… the warmth of his skin against hers just made her want to never let go; she wanted to kiss every single spot on his anatomy. He was such a beautiful man, in every possible way; and a very manly one too… she though with certain wicked satisfaction. He was so sweet and passionate at the same time; being already tainted by the hardships of life, he still kept himself so incredibly innocent. Yes, there was some contradiction in this extraordinary man; and she loved him for that. She loved him more than anything.

He paused for a moment and looked into her eyes, playing with her hair in his hands. He had wanted this for so long… having her in his arms was the greatest gift life could have ever granted him. He lost himself into those beautiful emerald eyes letting his shields drop completely, delivering every single feeling and emotion that laid deep down his heart and soul. Mara’s eyes filled with tears of uncontrolled happiness as she let him know her own deep secrets, his amazingly blue eyes sparkled with the purest joy.

They kissed deeply, losing themselves into the strings of passion and desire.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

It was a fresh rainy morning. The chilled breeze came into the bed chamber through the open vents that had been left open, forgotten. The steady sound of rain drops falling was muffled by the heavy vegetation.

Luke woke up to the soft smell of female scent, sensing the sleeping figure in his arms. He slowly opened his eyes to find a familiar face before him. He smiled. Last night… he remembered. He took his time admiring her features, noticing her mouth was still slightly swollen from last night’s endless kissing. He gently stroked the silky red hair, she always looked beautiful and while asleep she looked particularly peaceful this morning.

His beautiful Mara. She had been struggling with her own feelings too and had had a hard time to openly admitting them, while he had had a hard time not showing his. He chuckled at the thought, maybe they were not so different from one another after all.

A distant beeping from the com unit brought him back from his contemplation. Mara stirred in his arms and slightly opened her eyes.

She smiled at him, “Morning…” she whispered. She closed her eyes back and laid still, cuddling against him, enjoying the warmth of his body, slowly drifting back into sleep.

“Morning my love…” Luke softly answered kissing her on the forehead, feeling her warmth on his lips.

 Luke carefully got out of bed trying not to disturb her sleep, and headed to the com unit in the den, closing the door behind him. He answered the device keeping it in voice mode only; he preferred to keep his privacy.

“Skywalker.”

“Sorry to interrupt you this early Luke,” Kyp apologized “but there’s something I need to consult with you before you get busy with your daily schedule.”

Luke knew Kyp would not interrupt him unless it was something important. “All right, I’ll be down in a minute Kyp.”

He went back to the bed chamber. Sitting on the bed, he passed his hand along Mara’s side.

“What’s wrong?” She asked in a sleepy voice, half awake.

“Nothing is wrong, but I do have to meet Kyp.” He answered, deeply regretting he had to leave her. “Go back to sleep, it’s still early. I’ll meet you later at the Library.”

Mara nodded and smiled while closing her eyes. Luke quietly got ready.

When he stepped out of the fresher he found her sleeping soundly. She was laying face down, her head turned on its side, her long red mane wildly spread on her pillow. He approached and kissed her softly on the cheek. She didn’t move. He pulled the bed sheets up to her shoulders. Mara wasn’t a deep sleeper, but after a whole night of incredible love making probably she was a bit extenuated. Luke smiled at the thought, a bit maliciously and with great satisfaction.

Reaching into one of the compartments of his utility belt, Luke took out the lightsaber crystal he had picked up from the study table the night before. The one he had given to Mara. Leaving the small gem on the empty pillow next to her, he quietly left the room.

Mara slept for a couple of more hours. When she woke up she noticed a small glitter next to her and tried hard to focus her sleepy eyes. She reached out and took the small stone.

‘ _Skywalker…_ ’ She smiled to herself. Mara played with the gem with her fingers. She lay in bed thinking and remembering. She remembered him last night, the fire in his eyes, his handsome features, his passion and his caring for her. He was so giving. There was so much joy in her heart she could feel it spilling all over her entire being. Luke Skywalker… the man she loved. And, where was he? She wondered when not sensing him nearby. Oh, yes! The call… Kyp’s call. She realized that she hadn’t noticed him leave. Could that be possible? Her not noticing something like that? Something that was so ingrained in her survival instincts? As a matter of fact, she couldn’t remember when the last time was she had slept this soundly!  She smiled at her oversight. Skywalker was good for her, he made her feel safe.

So, this was indeed what had been troubling him. Well, at least he had acknowledged his feelings. Not the same could be said about her, she had lived in oblivion of hers for years. She couldn’t help but to blush at the memory of her terrible mistake, of her lecturing Luke about him going dark. But it had turned out all right after all. Yes, it had turned out unexpectedly right!

A roguish grin showed on her face. It had been an incredible night!

She got herself ready and headed to the Library. It was late, and Luke should be waiting for her already. She reached the Library.

 “Good morning.”  Luke welcomed her with a sparkling smile on his face.

“Morning.” Mara greeted smiling back at him.

“You’re late,” he teased holding her by the waist and kissing her long and tenderly. “Don’t tell me that a little nocturnal activity is enough to make you blow up your impeccable punctuality record.” He added still holding her close to him.

“Well… I wouldn’t call last night’s activities ‘little’.” She said with a mischievous grin.

“I guess you’re right.” He answered with a grin of his own.

Now she kissed him invitingly. Oh, stars! He wished they had more time.

Reluctantly he let go “And I also guess that if we keep using our time to make out then you’ll be the holder to the record of the longest training time in Jedi history.” He teased.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Mara said a bit reluctant to let go too.

“I’m sorry I had to leave you this morning.” Luke apologized “I got an early call from Kyp; there were a few things I had to see to.”

“You owe me, _Farmboy_.” She challenged him “Big time!” she kissed him again.

“Well, I expect to be repaying my debt very soon.” He countered with a roguish sparkle in his eyes.

She broke the embrace and took her place at the study table, “I found the gem.”

“Good. You’ll be using it today.” Luke grinned.

They headed to the workshop area. The place was filled with work tables, computer units and all kinds of tools; all meant for appropriate weaponry construction. Luke showed her around indicating where all the materials where kept.

‘ _So, this is it!_ ’ Mara thought, ‘ _The beginning of the end._ ’

With an eager look on his face Luke nodded at her, and Mara set herself to work.

 

oOo

 

The next couple of days were focused on the construction of Mara’s brand-new lightsaber. The crystal had to be cut to shape and she had to carve the right number of facets on it. The handle had to be assembled from scratch and all the pieces had to be hand cut and shaped. There was a lot of wiring to do, circuits to attend to, power cells, focusing lenses and so on. Lots of little pieces that needed to be put together, and everything had to fit inside the cylindrical and slender handle. It was quite a chore, Mara realized.

For Luke, things at the Academy had turned a bit hectic with the arrival of new padawans, a matter that he liked to oversee very closely, leaving him no choice but to leave Mara to continue the lightsaber construction mostly on her own.

This particular day had been a very busy one. It was almost evening and Luke had just reached the workshop. Mara had been working on her own the whole day and he really wanted to check on her. He had started to take a look at Mara’s progress on the hilt when his com link beeped.

“Skywalker.” He answered into the com link, giving Mara a weary look.

“Master Skywalker, good evening. This is Streen.” The voice came from the little speaker.

“Hello, Streen. What can I do for you?” Luke greeted back.

“There’s a matter that needs your attention.” The other’s voice sounded serious now.

“Can it wait?” He asked eyeing Mara when sensing her slightly annoyed mood.

“No, I’m afraid it can’t, sir. It’s one of the younger padawans.”

“I see.” Luke paused taking things into consideration. “I’ll be there shortly.” Luke finally told the other. Switching off the com, he turned to Mara with a pleading look on his face. “I have to go.” He explained.

“It’s all right. Go!” she answered; after all she had monopolized his time for months already.

“I’ll take a look at your progress first time tomorrow.” He promised. “You also better go ahead and have supper without me.”

“I can wait for you.” Mara offered.

“Thanks, but no. I rather if you don’t, I don’t know how long this is gonna take. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Those are the drawbacks of being the boss.” She had a position of command in her job too, and she perfectly knew how things could be sometimes.

Luke left, and Mara was left to do with her time as she pleased. She decided to leave it for the day and go ahead with her meal, then headed back to her quarters to get cleaned up and try a bit of meditation. She had been feeling so relaxed for the past few days, some strange pressure she now realized she had been feeling for a long, long time had just vanished from her heart and soul. It was incredible how happy she had become just by accepting her own deep feelings towards Luke, now that she had let her pride yield to the needs of her heart.

She was way into her meditation when she felt a familiar touch on her sense. Smiling she headed to the door, when opening it she found a very welcomed sight leaning on the doorframe.

“I sensed you were still awake, so I decided to drop by and kiss you good night.” Luke smiled at her, and then kissed her.

“Come on in,” Mara invited him, stepping aside to let him in. “So, how did it go?” she asked.

“It went fine.” Luke told her walking into the room. “It was Nimios, the Corellian boy.” Luke told her walking into the room.

“Blond hair, grey eyes, tall, with a smart look on his face and an extreme aura of self-confidence, if I recall correctly?” Mara asked. Luke nodded. The boy remained her of some other Corellians she knew already. What was it with Corellians and that self-sufficiency attitude? She thought. “What was the problem?” Mara inquired, interested on what Luke had to tell.

They both sat in the den, next to each other.

“Well, he had a hard day today and his self-confidence got pretty shaken.” He explained.

“Is he leaving?” Mara asked concerned.

“He’s going to go back home for a couple of weeks, rest for a while and then come back to the Academy to continue training if he doesn’t change his mind of course. Though I’m pretty sure that he’ll come back to stay for good.” Luke said with confidence in his voice.

“You’re going to lose a lot of Jedi if you just let them leave whenever they choose to.” Mara told him.

“Things cannot be forced into someone.” Luke calmly stated.

“I guess not.” She answered while thinking about it.

“Besides, I rather have ten Jedi who are truly committed to a life of service, than a hundred who are not quite sure if that is their calling, and who choose to stay merely for the status of it or because they want to please someone.”

“You have a point there.” Mara had to give him that.

“Being a Jedi it’s a huge responsibility, one needs the most serious mind.” Luke continued while remembering Yoda’s words. “It is hard to follow Jedi training, especially when they are young. They get frustrated, home sick… Sometimes they just get tired and worn out, and when they don’t have the maturity to focus on the goal ahead it gets hard for them to find sense and purpose to what they are doing or going through.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” She was an adult and had firmly set in her mind the intention of becoming a Jedi when she first arrived, but that didn’t mean that sometimes she hadn’t wondered what had possessed her to make her be willing to outstand such physical and mental demands. “Training can get to you, it adds up a lot of psychological strain.”

“Right, when this happens to a padawan I have instructed every teacher to let me know immediately. Then I like to talk to them and help them find a way out of it. Some have decided to leave, many more have decided to stay. So, it’s worth it. I don’t want them just to quit and leave because of a sore body and a tired mind, and then regret it later in their lives.”

“Well, but you have never claimed Jedi training to be an easy task, so they pretty much know what they are getting themselves into right from the beginning.”

“It can seem that way, but reality is that they don’t.” Luke explained. “They really don’t realize the amount of work that it’s involved into becoming a Jedi until they are actually training.”

“So, when it starts to get nasty they have second thoughts.” Mara filled in.

“Yes, although the training is already designed to purge groups in its first stages. Of the ones who decide to leave at this point I don’t give that much importance, but when they have reached the next stage it’s because they have great potential, and it is then when I decide to act when someone wants to drop. This is the case of Nimios; he’s already in the fourth stage which is when things start to get very serious. Since he’s gotten this far, I believe he’s meant to become a Jedi, but in the end it’s really up to him.” Luke shrugged. “Being a Jedi it’s a life of commitment and it’s not an easy life, so everybody has the right to decide whether they want out or not before the serious training begins. After all, not all Force sensitive beings are meant to become Jedi.”

“Free will.” Mara added thoughtfully.

“Yes, free will.” He stated.

“So much different from the Old Jedi Order.” She remarked.

“Well, the Old Order lasted several millennia, so its own ways worked at the time. But I have the feeling that things need to be different now. Times change.”

“Yes, they do.” She smiled at him cupping his face in her hand. Of course times changed, thanks the Force they did! That was the very reason why she was right now and there with a life full of opportunities unfolding before her, deeply in love with the man she had once believed to be her greatest enemy. She just felt so proud of this wonderful man of high moral ground. The man who had helped her find the light within her. He also loved her and wanted to be with her. “Do you want to stay?” She asked him running her fingers through his blond hair.

“Not tonight, as much as I want to say yes...” Luke answered, his eyes closed while enjoying Mara’s touch. “I still have some data work to do. I’ll be getting up very early and I don’t want to disturb you.” He let out a sigh, “Tomorrow you just go ahead into the work shop and continue with your lightsaber. I’ll catch up with you there.” He opened his eyes and held her hand, kissing it softly.

“You look tired.” Mara added sympathetically.

“I am.” Luke assured “May be is lack of sleep…” he added innocently, while the memories of their passionate encounters danced in his mind “…we both haven’t had that much sleep for the past nights.” He gave her a mischievous grin. Mara grinned back. “And you look just as fresh as an alderaanian lily. How can you do that, Mara?”

“Imperial training. Several nights without getting sleep when running assault missions.” She added, bragging about it a little. “You get used to it.”

“Right.” Luke nodded. Well, if he was to leave he should do it before he changed his mind, or Mara made him do so. “I better get going.”

“Well, get a good sleep _Farmboy_.”  Mara told him hugging him and kissing him softly on the lips.

“You too, see you tomorrow.” He told her kissing her back and lingering on her warm touch.

 

With much reluctance, Luke left Mara’s quarters thinking about the many things he had done in the past two days, with the arrivals of the new padawans and all that. He really wanted to spend his time with Mara, but he had responsibilities and he could not let his personal matters get in the way. He knew things would settle down in a few more days, once all the new students and teachers had gotten used to each other and to the Academy’s own pace. He also was grateful that Mara seemed to understand his position, which had made things a lot easier for him. He was gonna have to make it up to her.

He reached his quarters and set himself to work on his data pad. It was close to midnight when he felt Mara’s sense vanishing as she drifted into sleep, sending him loving reassurance. Luke smiled to himself and sent her his own love back. Yes, he was going to have to make it up to her.

 

oOo

 

It was early morning and the sound of tools and machinery could already be heard inside the shop, along with the eventual smuggler’s curse when something dropped onto the floor with its particular clanking sound. Mara was diligently continuing with the construction of her lightsaber, it had taken her a few days to build it. This particular morning, she had given it the last touches and by midday it was ready.

“Well, it seems there’s nothing more I can do with it.” Mara thoughtfully told Luke who was standing beside her, while admiring her handiwork. “I have to turn it on, I guess.” She added a bit nervously.

“Be careful of not blowing us up in the process,” Luke teased, remembering his own doubts when he had to try his own lightsaber for the first time many years ago back in Tatooine.

Of course, there wasn’t any danger now; and knowing Mara, the lightsaber was bound to work to its perfection. Nowadays the procedures were perfectly established in the manuals available at the Academy so new Jedi wouldn’t have to struggle the way he had. The average construction time was in between six to ten days for most new Jedi, not nearly the month that had taken him to construct his own. Back in those years Luke hadn’t had any help, or the materials available, or the instruction to do so. He even had had to cook his own lightsaber crystal! After losing his father’s lightsaber in Bespin, getting a new one had been a hard trick to accomplish. Since the founding of the Jedi Academy he had overseen the construction of so many lightsabers that now he could construct one right from scratch in a matter of two days.

“Here goes nothing.” Taking a deep breath, Mara hit the ignition button.

With its characteristic snap-hiss a brilliant white-orange blade came into existence.

“It works!” Mara exclaimed triumphal.

“Sure it does!” Luke congratulated her, feeling very proud of her. She had accomplished to construct her lightsaber in record time: four days. He held his hand near the blade. No sensation of heat; that meant the superconductors were working properly. “Shall we give it a try?” Luke grinned.

“Sure.” Mara answered eagerly.

They reached the Gym and set themselves for their practice match. It was midday meal time, so the place was completely for them. Taking the far end of the facility they set themselves into combat positions.

Mara stroke first and Luke parried her blow experimentally. The blade of her new lightsaber was working perfectly. After a few blocks, Luke took the offensive hand and started offering blows of his own.

“The blade is perfect, Mara.” Luke let her know.

“It is, isn’t it?” she proudly answered. “And I really like the grip on the handle.”

To her own surprise, Mara was feeling pretty playful that afternoon. Maybe she just felt very happy about finishing the construction of her lightsaber.

They continued their practice, letting themselves fall in the heat of saber combat. Mara could sense Luke’s concentration while they parried. She was trying hard to concentrate, but there was something in the back of her mind that kept her on noticing his beautiful blue eyes and graceful, accurate movements. She knew how he looked underneath those clothes… A smirk showed on her face, she wondered how one could make a Jedi Master misbehave…

“Be serious Mara,” Luke warned her when sensing her thoughts, trying very hard to not let himself follow her intentions. “You’re not shielding…” Luke warned her, explaining the reason why he had been able to read her that clearly. 

“All right, Skywalker.” Mara smiled, shielding her senses and trying to set her mind into serious combat.

Luke knew she was having a hard time concentrating and decided to push on her a little, just enough to make her bring her attention back to the training session. He took the offensive hand and started to force her to step back towards the far wall of the area where they were training.

‘ _He knows I’m not concentrating, so he’s getting tough on me._ ’ Mara thought while taking one step back at a time.

Well, and it was certainly true. She was just too distracted today. Unable to match Luke’s advances she soon found herself trapped against the wall, in a way that she couldn’t move anywhere else. Luke gave her a scolding look. She just rolled her eyes and switched off her lightsaber in a gesture of defeat but keeping a combat stance.

Luke switched off his own lightsaber, not representing a threat to Mara anymore. This was the opening she was expecting, it had just slipped his mind that her specialty was hand to hand combat, the naïve and trusting _Farmboy_! With a quick sudden movement, Mara stepped towards Luke and got him right on his solar plexus with a good aimed frontal punch. Luke grimaced and managed to grab the hand that had connected on his chest and block the next punch from Mara’s other hand, but he didn’t have a chance to avoid her swift sweep. He could feel himself suddenly falling on his back. She had just gotten him, again! Luke thought with a bit of frustration.

When knocking him down he didn’t let go of her. Mara let herself fall with him landing on top, trapping him against the floor.

“I guess I won this match, Jedi.” She said seductively and with a cocky attitude. Something glittered in her eyes.

“Yeah, I guess you did.” Luke told her in a low voice, admiring the look in her eyes “It was my fault that I dropped my guard for a pair of beautiful green eyes.”

“If I won, then it means I make the rules now.” She stated.

“Really?” He asked peering down to set his eyes on her inviting mouth.

“Yes.” Mara answered kissing him deeply.

As they kissed Mara started to think of the possibilities. Maybe they could just skip lunch and help themselves to a different kind of appetizers, she thought while kissing his mouth. Maybe head back to their quarters and spend the rest of the day there… and not exactly in training, she wickedly thought to herself. It seemed like Luke had picked up her intentions since he was responding to her kiss with much intensity and since his hands were already everywhere. She could sense his thoughts and emotions like a vibrating blur of energy. By that moment, Luke was having the exact same thoughts. He sat up keeping Mara on his lap, still kissing each other, Mara’s hands mirroring Luke’s actions. Luke was so aroused already that he couldn’t exactly be aware of what happened around them, even less sense the approaching presence.

“Master Skywalker.” A voice called.

His own name echoed strangely in Luke’s mind, like if he was a billion light years away. A distance his brain managed to cover in less than a split second when he recognized the voice calling him. He immediately let Mara go. Luke noticed she had done just the same, sensing her annoyance at the other’s intrusion.

When he looked up, Luke could feel his face fiercely blushing. “Tionne! … Oh, yes? … Ah … What is it?” Luke stuttered trying to compose himself. While stuttering, he managed to lift Mara to his side and pull her up with him as he stood up. They got on their feet rather awkwardly.

The look on Tionne’s face changed rapidly from one of fluster and surprise to one of delighted understanding, and although she tried hard to hide it, it didn’t escape Mara’s well-trained eye. Both women could sense the other’s awareness of the situation, something that had to do with their –let’s say, meaningful conversation of some nights ago.

The Master Trader gave the Scholar a warning look.

“I’m sorry to intrude…” Tionne noticed the wince on Luke’s face “…but you have a call from Councilor Organa-Solo, and she asked me to make sure you took her call.” She explained eyeing Mara, who was implacably staring at her. “I have relayed the call to one of the com units at the communications center for your convenience.”

“Thank you, Tionne. I’ll be on my way.” Luke answered still recovering from his embarrassment.

Tionne looked back at the red head with what seemed to Mara like an ‘I told you so’ in her eyes, then slightly bowed her head and left the Gym. Luke watched her leave as the gym door silently slid close behind her.

“She just found me making out with my padawan!”  He muttered in a calm, but worried tone of voice, slowly shaking his head. “…During training time.” He could not believe himself being that reckless.

“I think it’s obvious to all of them that I’m not the regular padawan, Luke.” Mara added matter-of-factly, trying to make him see the reality of the situation.

“I cannot let staff find me fooling around, Mara.” He countered.

Mara was still staring at the door through which their visitor had left the place, feeling a slight fury building up in the bottom of her stomach. From all the staff members it had to be Tionne the one that showed up at that particular time. Mara knew she would never hear the end of it, she had just seen it on the other woman’s face: that smirk of self-sufficiency… But for now, it was more important to have Luke to calm down. She turned to see him, trying to calm herself too.

“Relax, _Farmboy_. It’s not the end of the universe. It’s Tionne we’re talking about.”

“Yes… I know.” He let out a sigh, “I’m sorry.” He apologized. She was right, it could have been worse… It could have been one of the students popping in… He let the disturbing thought go away. “It’s just that I’m supposed to be an example here, and I have to watch what I do, I have to be careful….”

Mara reached out putting a finger on his mouth and making him stop, “I know.” He just had that look, a look she had often seen on him; the look of someone carrying the whole universe on his shoulders.

Luke looked into her eyes, trying to put things into perspective. She was right; it was not the end of the universe, but all he knew for now was that he wanted to be with her.

“We should get out of here, go somewhere. Take a vacation away from everything. Just… go.” Luke said stroking her cheek gently.

Mara really felt surprised of his willingness to make some time for them. He talking about a vacation? Just to spend time with her? She should feel flattered indeed.

“We will,” she gave him and affirmative look “After my ordering.” A good rest would be more that deserved and they certainly could use some time together.

A broad smile showed on Luke’s face. “All right, it’s set then. We’re leaving the very next day.”

“But now, you have a call from your sister, remember?”

“Oh, the call! Yes! I better go.” He kissed her on the lips. “See you later.”

“See you, _Farmboy_!”

 

oOo

 

He found the com unit with the incoming call light flashing. He switched it on, and the face of a beautiful woman, with expressive brown eyes and an elaborated alderaanian hairstyle appeared on the screen.

“Hello, Leia!” Luke greeted his sister.

“Hello, Luke!” She greeted back “I’ve been wondering about how you’re doing, and since Han didn’t tell me much, and the call you promised to make didn’t happen… then I decided to call you.”

“Sorry, I’ve been kind of busy…” Luke started and then stopped “I know it’s a lame excuse…” he smiled sheepishly.

“Yes, it is.” Leia answered trying to sound serious, without succeeding “But I forgive you.” She told her brother smiling broadly.

Luke smiled back.

“How are things going with Mara?”

Luke felt a bit taken aback from the sudden question, but of course he knew this was the main reason why Leia was calling.

“Good.” He answered showing a mischievous grin.

“How good?” Leia insisted.

“Very good.” Luke gave her a big smile.

“Are you telling me what I think you’re telling me?” She asked carefully.

“Yes, Leia.” He answered, appeasing his twin’s curiosity.

“Oh, Luke! It’s so good news! I’m so happy for you!” Leia exclaimed with uncontrolled happiness. “Everybody is going to be so happy when hearing this!”

Luke rolled his eyes, “It rather seems like everybody else knew that something was going on between Mara and myself, but us.” he said, cooling his tone of voice a bit.

“Well, not everybody. Just Han, myself, Karrde, Wedge, Lando and the others.”

“Isn’t that everybody?” Luke asked in disbelief.

“Well, yes. Pretty much it is.” Leia admitted, while blushing a little.

“How come nobody said anything?” he protested.

“I guess nobody wanted to cross a Jedi Master… or the former Emperor’s Hand.” Leia joked. “No, seriously Luke, I guess none of us knew how to bring up the subject to either one of you.”

Luke let out a sigh, “I didn’t even know how to bring it up myself…”

“Oh, Luke, you have to tell me how it happened!” Leia interrupted him “I want details. When are you coming to Coruscant?” she eagerly inquired.

“Details?” he asked blushing hard.

“Yes, details.” Leia warned.

“You’re gonna have to ask Mara for that. That’s girls talk!” Luke complained to his sister.

“Mara is not the regular girl and I don’t think she’s going to be too willing to talk, so that rules her out… leaving just you.”

“We’ll discuss that when we get to Coruscant.” Luke answered trying to have his sister to slow down a little.

“We? So, you’re bringing Mara with you?” She asked noticing his brother’s tongue slip.

“Leia!” he complained.

“You said it yourself!” she added innocently.

“Yes, I’ll be bringing Mara with me.” Luke told her giving in.

“When?” Leia insisted.

“I don’t know yet. Right after Mara’s ordering.” Yes, that seemed like a good time. He had promised some time on their own to Mara already. “I was thinking about taking some time off and Coruscant seems like a good place to start. That’ll make YOU happy, I guess.”

“It will! And the kids will love it too.” Leia told him feeling very excited. “Just let me know when. And make it soon!”

“I will.” Luke reassured his sister.

“And you know something, YOU thinking about taking a vacation is really a break through! I can tell Mara is going to be good for you already.” She pointed out.

Luke simply smiled.

“I love you, little brother.”

“I love you too, sis.”

The communication ended. Luke stared at the empty screen, with a warm feeling in his heart. Leia… his dear sister. Maybe, after all these years, he was close to having something similar to what Leia and Han had -a committed relationship, a family, a life together. And now he and Mara… He shook his head, he was getting ahead of things… Well, he had his heart set already. He had had it set even before realizing it! And he also knew he only had half a saying on this. It was up to Mara then.

And thinking about Mara, he wasn’t sure how much she would like the idea of hanging around his family. Well, he would have to ask her. He left the com center and headed towards the gym area.

He found her still practicing with her newly constructed lightsaber. He silently watched her execute the complex exercises. ‘ _Pass on what you have learned…_ ’ Yoda’s words echoed in his mind. That was indeed what he had been doing over the last years, fulfilling his own master’s last command. And he now was a very proud Jedi Master. His padawan had mastered the art of the saber, so it was time. She would become a Jedi.

Sensing his presence, Mara smiled at him from the distance. Luke smiled back at her. Pleased with her mentor’s approval, she went back to her practice. After a few minutes, Luke joined in. They ended the day sparring together. It had been a day full of rewards for both, Master and Padawan.

That night, back in their quarters, he made love to her with his most passion and dedication. A dedication equal to the one he intended to commit to the life he wanted to build with her, a life he hoped she wanted for herself too. They played the lovers game, until they both had enough of one another. Holding each other, they drifted into sleep. The quiet night casting its peaceful spell over the two lovers.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

 _Slight hints of crushed foliage outlined the narrow path she had taken, barely traceable, as befitted her former occupation. He trailed her until he reached a small clearing and found her there. She was standing still and looking up to the sky, bathed by the sun beams shining down thought the openings on the tree dome, her red-gold hair sparkling where the light touched it. ‘_ There is something so much familiar to this particular place’, _he thought to himself_. _Luke approached the spot where she was standing and stood next to her._

‘This is so familiar…’

_The wind started to blow. Without warning a violent gust burst in and several startled creatures flew away from the trees, crying out a danger call. The light changed, the clouds ran wildly above their heads in a dance of lights and shadows all around._

‘Stay with me Mara…’

_She stepped back, moving away from him. A loud rumble shocked his senses as he felt the earth shaking under their feet. Luke looked down and noticed the opening cracks on the ground where he was standing; he caught a glimpse of the ground underneath Mara collapsing, trees and everything around sinking into a large hole -including Mara, leading her to a deep fall._

‘Mara!!’ he heard himself yell.

_Reacting immediately, he reached out for her as fast as he could, throwing himself forward and grabbing her by the arm. He lay there holding her with all his strength as he felt the ground underneath him starting to collapse and crumble down._

‘This is repeating itself all over…’ he though in desperation.

_“Mara, I need your help here, give me your other hand!” He said to her, feeling the ground giving in under his weight._

He could hear his own words…

_Mara looked up and stared at him right in the eye. He looked into her eyes…_

_“You have to let me go Luke. Where I’m going, you cannot follow.” She simply said, and with a sudden jerk she got herself loose from his desperate grip and fell into the abyss._

_“No, Mara!!!” he yelled in shock after her._

_“Nooo!”_

He sat up on his bed with a violent jerk and a gasp.

Luke’s forehead and body were covered with a cold sweat… he shivered when he felt a cold breeze coming into the room through the open window. He sat there for a few minutes fighting the dizziness and confusion in his head. The dream had repeated itself all over… with a slight change. He stepped out of bed and approached the window… with a soft move he had it shut.

‘ _Why am I having this recurrent dream?_ ’ Luke mused. ‘ _What is it trying to tell me?_ ’ He wiped the sweat with one of his hands.

Looking at the chrono on the wall he realized it was only a couple of hours until sunrise. Back in her quarters, Mara should be still asleep. Today was the big day: Mara’s last trial was scheduled early this morning. She had completed the previous trials successfully, but still, certain uneasiness lingered in his heart since nobody could know exactly what she would be facing today, not even him; and somehow, he found this rather disturbing.

As leader of the Academy he could not let his personal reasons interfere with the training process of any padawan, so he had to stick to the guidelines he had established himself. This meant that no matter how troubled he could feel about what Mara had to do today, he could not call it off in any way.

Lost in his thoughts, Luke realized that this was one of the very reasons why he hadn’t wanted to get involved in a love relationship with her. He just knew how overprotective he could become and how hard it would be to learn to step aside and know when to do it. Well, he was just going to have to learn to deal with it. He needed and wanted Mara with him, and just because of that, he was going to do everything in his hands to make things work. This time there was no turning back, no regrets, and he would not lose hope. Luke couldn’t remember when he had felt this happy. The past weeks since Mara and he had revealed their true feelings for each other had been priceless, and he would just not give that up.

Knowing he would not be able to go back to sleep, and since he needed to be at ease with his emotions -especially in a day like this, he prepared himself for some meditation. Maybe in his meditation he would find some answers.

Luke sat in the dark, letting the Force guide him inwards into the paths of his subconscious.

 

oOo

 

Mara was up and ready with the first sun rays of morning. Today might be the day, this was the last test. She had already successfully completed the rest of the trials and she wondered what was in store for her today. Luke had mentioned that this was the last stretch, and then she would be done.

Wearing a dark combat jumpsuit she looked at herself on the mirror. The outfit was the kind that Karrde liked to supply his people with; of great durability, excellent fit and made with the best fabric available. The same could be said of the rest of her apparel and equipment: boots, utility belt, gadgets and such. Today, it somehow seemed important to notice all these little details. She was supposed to go deep into Yavin IV’s jungle and reach this specific mysterious place -a place to be located through her usage of the Force since it was concealed by one of those Force vanishing visions; a real test to her true connection with the ultimate power. It just made sense to her to double check and be ready for anything. It had been a long time since she last found herself paying attention to this kind of details with such scrutiny, just equal to when she used to prepare herself for the missions the late Emperor had her carry out.

Her past life… Why had she thought about it just now? She fingered the brand-new lightsaber attached to her belt.

She checked the power packs of her small blaster and secured it to her fore arm holder and did the same with the vibroblade she normally hid inside her boot. With her characteristic trademark determination, she headed to the meeting point.

 

oOo

 

Three Jedi Masters stood outside the entrance of a deep tunnel. Kyp Durron, the former slave boy, powerful in the Force, who had given Luke so much trouble at the beginning of his training, but now dedicated to the Order entirely; Streen the elderly man from Bespin, with his unique gift to control the wind, weather and creatures of the air; and Luke Skywalker, the first Jedi Master and leader of the New Order. As she approached them, Mara noticed the solemn and severe manner in which the three men greeted her. This was serious business.

So, this was the place… Mara remembered she had visited this same spot once already but had never noticed the entrance. This Force technique of concealment was good indeed, to have escaped her well trained eye and sense.

The tunnel belonged to a very old sewer system underneath the ruins of the former temple were Exar-Kun’s spirit had dwelled. The massive structure had been demolished to the ground by Corran Horn with proton torpedoes to make sure that nothing remained. But although the ancient Sith Lord’s spirit had been vanquished several years ago, still there was a slight brush of the dark side in that place. It somehow had something to do with the power of the dark side and with how hard it was to eradicate completely; in a way reminding Luke that there was always darkness lingering in everything, everywhere and in everybody.

The Masters in the Academy had decided to keep the tunnel concealed to avoid dangerous incidents if one of the padawans happened to make their way that deep into the jungle. The place was often used as the last test for the knighting trials, and as a safety measure only a few Jedi Masters in the Academy knew its exact location. In everyday basis, the place remained hidden under the White Current, a skill that Luke had acquired some years ago from the Fallanassi tribe -a technique he had once used to hide a whole regenerating planet. Only in days like this, he let the Force veil vanish.

Mara looked at the tunnel with a wary eye; it was obvious to her that she was meant to go inside.

“What’s in there?” she asked.

“Only what you take in with you.” Luke answered, with an enormous feeling of déjà-vu.

“What do I have to find? Do I have to bring back anything?” she asked again with an odd feeling crawling under her skin. 

“You’ll know when you get there.” Luke explained. He knew he could not say anything to Mara, he didn’t even know what she would face in there and neither did she. It was just a matter of wait and see. “Your weapons and instruments… you will not need them.” He advised Mara, using the same words Yoda had once used on him.

“I rather be the judge on that.” She acknowledged with a cynical smile.

For an instant, Luke thought back to when he had to enter that dark cave back in Dagobah, he thought about his own doubts and fear back then. That cave had had enough darkness in it to neutralize Yoda’s strong presence in the Force from the Sith Lords -turning the swamp planet into a safe place for the old Master to retire to during the Jedi Purges. The dark tint in the tunnel of Yavin wasn’t as dark as the one in the Dagobah cave, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t dangerous. Although the real danger resided in the Padawan’s own fear.

Luke knew that the revelations of the Force could be frightening at times, since they always touched the very core of one’s weaknesses and dreads, the kind of things that one kept hidden even from oneself; and every sentient being had its own share of both. He now was experiencing the effects of his own apprehensions, there was that dream… the one he had had again this very morning… and that strange uneasiness threatened to take hold of his heart once more. He pushed back the feeling, keeping his shields up so he wouldn’t disturb Mara. Whatever she might face in there, it was not going to be anything she couldn’t handle. Still, he just didn’t want to let her go in there…

Fighting the urge to grab her and take her way from there, he turned and walked towards the entrance, followed by his Padawan. Mara could not read his feelings, but still noticed certain apprehensiveness in her Master.

‘ _Skywalker, would you just stop worrying about me?_ ’ Mara scolded him with annoyance.

‘ _I’m not worried. I know you’ll do just fine, Mara._ ’ Luke sent back, trying to sound confident, and really meaning the words more to himself than to his padawan.

‘ _Yeah, right._ ’ She sarcastically added. ‘ _I know you too well just to know that you’re not telling the truth. Besides you’re shielding from me… and that’s never a good sign._ ’

‘ _I’m shielding because I’m your Master and I’m supposed not to influence your awareness in any way._ ’ He explained; glad to know that his reasoning was completely true.

‘ _Is that right?_ ’ Mara stared at him with a hard look.

‘ _O.K. I am worried, but just normal-worried… but don’t mind me, just go in there and do what you know how to do. I trust you._ ’ He reassured her.

‘ _I’ll be back in no time, Farmboy._ ’ She sent back and smiled in her usual confidence.

Kyp and Streen could tell that something was going on between Master and Padawan while they witnessed the staring contest. Streen looked at Kyp with an inquisitive look, Kyp sent out a negative and shrugged slightly; they both knew there was always certain animosity from the ex-assassin towards their Master, so they weren’t really surprised of their usual frictions. Both men didn’t have an idea of what was really going on.

Luke and Mara looked intensely at one another… their eyes said everything.

“May the Force be with you…” Luke let out, trying to ease the weight in his heart.

Mara simply nodded and walked inside. With awful dread, Luke watched her silhouette fade in the tunnel’s darkness.

Not him, not one soul could ever know what would happen inside; it was always different with everyone. As a safety measure, it was set that the Padawan in trial should be monitored through the Force at all times by his or her Master, who would check on the progress being made. The other two Masters only remained as witnesses and counselors.

“What will she face in there?” Kyp asked.

“Her uttermost fears.” Luke told both men.

“Can she get hurt?” Kyp asked again.

“Only if she wants to be hurt.” Streen solemnly answered.

The three men set themselves to patiently await the Padawan’s return. There was not much they could do, but to simply wait. Luke concentrated and fixed his sense on Mara’s route.

“You can do it, Mara.” He whispered, wishing he didn’t feel this troubled.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

The place was absolutely quiet. The sharp sound of dripping water echoed in the stone walls. The damp air carried the mossy scent of a place that had been undisturbed for years.

As Mara walked deeper into the tunnel, she noticed the jungle had already claimed the place. Crooked roots had forced their way through stones, while ferns and lichens completed the picture of an inside kind of garden. Several minutes had passed and nothing seemed to be happening.

There was a flicker in her sense and she turned towards a small opening on one of the far walls. The Force was telling her to go in there. She approached the small opening and squeezed herself through it; there was just enough space for her to make it.

She stepped into a huge chamber. It was darker inside and her eyes took a while to adjust to the dim light. The walls in the new room were dark and smooth, with a metallic matte finish. A high ceiling stretched out over her head, housing a two-level place; several control consoles where arranged every few meters and straight ahead a large metal stairway awaited her. In the far end, there was a large two story high window where the deepness of space and billions of stars were shown.

A certain familiarity struck her senses, the place looked like… a shiver went through her spine when she suddenly recognized the chamber she was in… the Emperor’s Throne Room.

This was not possible! The only two places where she had seen this chamber before were no more… the Imperial Palace was now under the administration of the New Republic… the Death Star no longer existed… What was this place then?

As strange as it was, Mara felt the compelled urge to walk farther into the chamber; an urge born out of curiosity and of something else that drew her like a night-moth to the burning fire. She walked up the stairs that led to the upper level. She reached the top and stood there in amazement, everything was exactly as she remembered.

She was running through her memories when a male voice interrupted her contemplation.

“Welcome back, Emperor’s Hand.” A crackled, soggy voice broke the silence to greet her.

She felt her heart stop. That voice… that was the voice of…

The throne turned around to reveal the sinister figure of Emperor Palpatine.

“My Master.” She said in a whisper, a strange ache in her heart. She approached the ominous presence and kneeled before her old Master, obediently lowering her head; an action she found herself doing more out of reflex and familiarity than nothing more. Why was she doing this? 

Emperor Palpatine looked down on her with blazing yellow eyes, a look that Mara felt stabbing the back of her head. Palpatine, alive? How was this possible?

She had felt him die back in Endor. She had heard about his reappearance, soon after Thrawn's defeat, how he had subjugated Skywalker that one time, then learnt about his final demise. No matter her ability to hear his call across the galaxy, she had been dismissed as a useless tool, one more clue about his unimportance to her former Master. How in the worlds had he survived? A storm of questions rumbled in her mind.

“I see you haven’t forgotten the old protocol.” The Emperor gestured at her with a calm, cold voice. “It’s a pity I cannot say the same about your loyalties.” He spit out.

“Master…” was all she managed to say. Her voice had suddenly gotten caught up in her throat, while numerous tears welled up in her eyes. Where was this deep pain coming from?

“Rise, my Hand.” He ordered.

Mara did as she was told. Holding back the tears, she dared to rise her eyes to look at the Sith. The Emperor looked down at her with a wicked smile, a strange mix of satisfaction and contempt.

“I see you have managed to remain alive, and to avoid every attempt of the New Republic to prosecute you.” He noted with a hint of proud recognition of the job he had done with his secret agent.

“They have no proof against me, you were always careful not to keep any record of my activities. They can do nothing.” Mara stated in a calm, military style tone. It was all suddenly coming back to her, the attitude, and the patterns of behavior… everything!

“Yes… that’s correct. Although I have to confess that I never expected, that in the end that precaution would benefit you in any way.” He scornfully added.

“Of course,” Mara concurred, “It was wiser to keep ‘messy’ matters hidden… in case you wanted to simply… make them disappear.” She countered, with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

The Emperor chuckled, as if he were finding some kind of amusement in Mara’s words. She had always been smart and had always understood the simple principles of espionage and undercover activities, the practicality of it all. Suddenly his expression turned terribly hard.

“You failed to accomplish my last command, Hand.” He harshly condemned.

“Your last command was one of personal revenge against Darth Vader. You never told me whose father he was.” Mara evenly answered, keeping her voice in control.

“Would that have made a difference?” He gave a menacing pause “You never had the habit to question my own personal reasons in the assignments you carried out for me. I always thought things were perfectly clear on that matter.” He threatened.

“Of course it would have!” Mara bit out. Sure enough her former Master knew that that little piece of information would have made a difference. That was the very reason why he had kept it a secret. “You just made me an instrument of your own perfect plan. It was never about the Empire, or about how the Galaxy had gone astray… It was all about you and your addiction to power. You simply used me!” She stated matter-of-factly.

“Used you? Well, well… Isn’t that the game we play when we crave for power? Didn’t you use everything and everybody yourself to accomplish your own ‘personal’ goals? Didn’t you have an agenda of your own?” The Emperor demanded.

“I wasn’t Vader!” She cut in, “I did everything only to please you… oblivious to your true intentions. That was all I wanted for myself, to serve you. I believed in the Empire!” Mara felt her voice break “I believed in you!” She finished with hurtful disappointment.

“Did you, now?” He cynically asked, although he wasn’t really interested in her answer.

“Yes.” Mara answered with all the conviction she was able to put into her words, the suffering in her soul showing in her eyes.

“Mara… Mara… my talented Mara Jade.” He continued in his misanthropic tone. It hurt the way he said her name, just like if it were a curse. “I groomed you and trained you myself. I raised you as a daughter. I taught you all you know and gave you everything: power, respect, status… All for the glory of the Empire. And how did you repay me? You, the one who claimed to be a loyal and absolute servant to the Empire!”

Yes, she had been completely loyal. After the Empire’s downfall, she had had a very hard time accepting the truth about her former Master, about the reaches of his rule over the Galaxy. She was so devoted to him that she had only seen what she had wanted to see. Mara knew that if she had been in the Death Star that terrible day -the day of the Emperor’s confrontation with Skywalker and Darth Vader, she would have given her own life trying to protect her Emperor. If she had put herself in Luke’s way, probably she would have been no more.

“I have learned many things since then. The truth to so many lies.” She sadly answered.

“Truth?” Palpatine expressed, despising her knowledge “The only truth here is that you have turned on me… You’re even bedding the enemy now!”

“We’re not enemies, not anymore.” Mara firmly declared.

“YOU BETRAYED ME!” The Emperor rose his voice, enraged.

“No, I didn’t.” She firmly stated. “The Empire was gone. I was left on my own with no one to turn to, not a single soul knew about me. I just did what had to be done. Then I learned everything.” She finished with bitterness and hurt deeply showing in her eyes.

The Emperor paused for a moment, a moment that felt like an eternity.

“You were always very resourceful.” He eyed Mara. “Then… it all comes down to survival, just how I taught you.” He seemed pleased with his pupil’s abilities.

As he hardly gazed at her, Mara could feel how the Emperor was able to read into the core of her heart and soul, how he was gathering information and coming to his own conclusions. Of course, he would get it all wrong, he would never understand. Her pairing with Luke had nothing to do with survival, with her wanting to stand on safe ground. She had feelings towards the young Jedi, deep feelings… and truthful ones.

“No!” she clenched her teeth, trying to resist the Sith’s proving. He had no right to intrude.

“Yes. I know you think you love him. But tell me one thing Mara Jade: do you really know how to love? You know how to serve for sure, but… to love? Love is a futile thing… something the powerful don’t need. And I do remember that you did want power once… to take Vader’s place… Have you forgotten that?” Palpatine sneered at her “I always knew your deepest desires, Mara Jade.”

“You raised me as the perfect soldier and nothing more. I was always immersed in my duty, in my obligations towards you... So back then, all I ever wanted was to accomplish the higher rank.”  She paused, holding the Emperor’s terrible gaze. “Things are different now. I’ve been living like a woman of flesh and blood for the past years, and my wants have changed.”

“And you want HIM?” He mocked, laughing wildly.

That terrible laughter made her shudder, and she wondered what he was going to do next.

“Foolish woman!” he barked at her “He only wants to have you subdued with false promises of redemption. Keep you dormant, out of his way. He knows what you’re capable of. Skywalker with all his low Jedi tricks will not be able to turn you from what you really are.”

“And what would you know about who I really am?” Mara defiantly asked.

Yes, she was a different person now. Not everybody could see it, but she knew she had changed. Luke knew it. She was not anymore that empty shell that Palpatine had trained.

“You just molded me to your liking, to be what you expected me to be. This is what I am now, not the perfect automat you created.” She defended herself.

“An assassin will be always an assassin.” He countered.

An assassin he just said? So that was all she was for him. Well, she might as well oblige. Yes, and she knew just exactly how to do it.

Mara started making a mental plan… Old habits die hard and she was going to make good use of them now. All right, what did she have? Lightsaber, blaster and vibroblade…

“See how I am right?” The Emperor mocked her again. “At this very moment you’re studying the scenario, the possibilities.” He revealed. “I know what you’re thinking… That if I’m gone then nothing will stand in your way to continue living this lie you have told yourself, this false and foolish dream you want to believe in.”

Mara tried to stand her ground. “You have no power over me now… you…”

She could not finish her line, with a small wave of his had the Emperor called Mara’s lightsaber to his hand. Startled, she tried to keep her self-control. She knew what Palpatine was capable of… Well, she was not going down without a fight, she would find her opening…. And with the Force as her ally now she might have a chance to do some damage, if not to survive while trying.

“Power? I’ll show you true power… And just how I can turn it on you!” He threatened.

The Emperor waved his hand down and then up towards Mara… The metal floor cracked and then shattered into thousand little pieces of shrapnel that flew towards her like blades.

Things unraveled in a heartbeat, Mara realized what was happening when she felt the metal pieces impacting on her, the pointy edges penetrating her flesh, cutting in deeply. The sharp pain made her groan. She covered her face with one arm to avoid being cut by the sharp projectiles.

“You’re not real!” She declared with conviction, trying to ignore the pain and gathering all of her courage.

“I am not? Then why are you so dead afraid of me?” He laughed, satisfied at what he sensed coming from her.

Yes, she was scared.

Mara could feel her body shaking out of pain and fear. She had to do something if she wanted to have a fighting chance. In one swift move she went for the small blaster hidden in her sleeve… There was no way she could have reached to it on time. The Emperor won the race and unarmed her almost immediately, doing the same with the vibroblade inside her boot. Following the momentum of the disarming jerk, she fell to the ground banging hard against the floor.

“You’re so predictable,” He sneered at her, laughing. “Remember I was the one who trained you… The one who kept you alive.”

A little disoriented by the sudden fall, Mara tried to quickly stand onto her feet. She was half way up when she felt a sharp flash in her brain. Bending down in pain, she banged against the floor once more, holding her head with both hands and groaning, feeling a stabbing pain inside her head.

As Mara fought against the increasing pain, several thoughts rushed into her mind. After all the years of running and hiding from everything and everyone, of trying to leave her past behind, of building a life for herself, it seemed like she was chained to the fate of the Empire. No matter how hard she tried to change her life, the past was always going to catch up with her… And now her Master had come back to claim her.

“You’re a traitor. And you deserve a traitor’s death.” Palpatine sentenced.

She lay on the floor, feeling completely doomed.

 

oOo

 

The three men stood outside the tunnel. Almost a couple of standard hours had gone by already and Luke had kept following Mara through the Force, being careful of shielding himself completely from her, only monitoring her advance without being intrusive in any way. He could not tell exactly what was going on inside, but he could sense Mara’s change of emotions… and what he had just felt coming from her…

Luke lowered his head. Setting his jaw and letting some air out, he gently stroked his lightsaber. ‘ _I’m going in_ ’ Luke told himself in silence while taking a small step forward. ‘ _No, I can’t do that to her._ ’ He reconsidered. A strong sense of duty and responsibility held him on the spot, stopping him from his first impulse. He was a Jedi Master, so he could not interfere.

Kyp noticed Luke’s gentle stroking of his lightsaber, and then his intention to move forward. The Master’s expression was collected and unworried as usual, but he could sense the uneasiness and acute pain that was stabbing the experienced Jedi at the core of his heart and soul; a feeling so intense that the Master wasn’t able to shield from him completely. Even so, Kyp could also sense an unconditional trust flowing from the fair-haired Jedi, a trust in his Padawan, a trust in the Force itself. The younger man eyed Streen who was standing across from them and detected the other’s subtle nod; the old man had noticed it too.

Wanting to do something Kyp approached the dark robbed Jedi. “Luke, I can go in and bring her back if you want me to.” He offered.

Luke turned to his former padawan in a calm manner. “No… don’t… if you do, we’ll take her chance away from her.” Luke warned. “Besides, going in there is not meant for you at this moment. If you do so, then Mara’s fears might not be the only thing you will have to face.” Luke told him, knowing that Kyp –just as any other Jedi, had his own share of unresolved issues and fears.

Kyp nodded, understanding the Master’s reasoning.

Luke knew –as hard as it was for him, that this was the right thing to do, this was Mara’s chance to come to terms with her deepest fears. He trusted Mara blindly and he knew she would be able to overcome whatever she was facing in there. ‘ _You can do it, Mara._ ’ He sent out. All too well knowing that Mara would not be able to sense his reassurance. 

 

oOo

 

Mara lay on the ground, bent in pain by the pressure Palpatine’s dark Force hold of her was causing in her head. She could hardly breathe and the wet feeling of the blood dripping from her numerous cuts made her feel her vital energy slipping away. She looked at her right arm, it was cut open and bleeding abundantly. So this was it, of all the possible death scenarios she had thought of, she never imagined that she would die by her Master’s own hand. She just knew he was going to make sure it was slow and painful.

‘ _Mara_ ’ She believed to have heard an anguish call. Had she actually heard it or had she imagined it? She wasn’t sure. Maybe she just wanted to hear it…

“You’re just a disposable toy… just like any of my other Hands.” Palpatine sneered at her once more, knowing about her knowledge of the ‘others’. “Yes, I had several of you… to carry out my will. My enemies were many, so I needed many servants. If I lost one pawn, I just simply had a replacement in line.”

Mara had learned about the Emperor’s many Hands years back, when Leia had met Roganda Ismaren –Palpatine’s concubine and Hand. The bastard had had the nerve to make her believe she was THE HAND, the special one… When in reality he had had as many hands as any vangoshan idol.

“Do you think he’ll take you seriously?” He interrupted her inner thoughts, bringing the Jedi he so much hated back into his declarations. “He’ll always think of you as Empire trash… as the servant of a Sith.” He added in despise. “Happiness is not meant for you, it is not meant for any follower of the Dark side.”

No, Luke would never think that of her and Mara had never used the dark side. She knew Palpatine was only trying to make her trust falter. She also knew that the Sith would go after the Jedi once he was done with her. But if he was thinking that by hurting her he was going to get to him, he was absolutely wrong. The last thing she would allow the dark Master to do was to get near the Jedi again. Palpatine knew nothing about him, or herself. That son of a Sith would never put a hand on Luke again… Never! She’ll make sure she had the last saying on that.

‘ _Yes, free will._ ’ The memory of Luke’s words echoed in her mind.

And she was going to use it. Somehow Palpatine had made a mistake, forgetting everything about her utility belt and the little gadgets she carried inside. So immersed was the Emperor in his monologue of hatred that he didn’t mind Mara’s subtle movements. She reached into one of the pockets and held a small metallic ball in her right hand, wincing at the pain that was caused by the flexing of her fingers to hold on to it. Carefully, she put up her shields tightly, so the Emperor couldn’t read her.

While she was fixing her little plan, Palpatine had kept on talking… lecturing her about her numerous mistakes.

“…all the ones you killed? Your hands are stained with innocent blood too…”

Yes, she had killed many. But she had always made sure they were not innocent…

“… if you’re going to measure yourself by their standards, don’t’ you believe you should get punished? I can grant you your wish…”

No, she should not be punished. She had had enough punishment already…

‘ _This must end!_ ’ She thought with resolution.

Fueled by a new sense of conviction, with a supreme effort Mara gathered to her feet, holding her badly hurt arm with her left hand; hiding the little round artifact in her blood stained other one. Panting, she stood in front of the Emperor… Challenging him. Just as she knew how to do it.

“So, you’re still thinking you can overthrow me?” Palpatine’s eyes blazed with fury. “You have chosen your path unwisely, Hand. After all I’ve done for you...”

“All you did for me was to keep me from the truth.” She finally spoke. “The moment you took me from my family you stole my real life from me… And now I have the chance to live the life that I am meant to live. I owe you nothing, and I’m done with you!” 

She kept her right arm close to her own body, trying not to reveal the small thermal detonator concealed in her palm. She had cared about her Master, she would have done anything for him…

“I willingly served you and now I willingly choose another path, I am a puppet to no one. My life has been granted back to me and it’s my own to choose what I wish to do with it…. And I choose the way of the Jedi.” She readied herself for the worst… Her last thought was for Luke.

“So be it… Jedi.”  Palpatine declared.

And with a flicker, the Emperor simply vanished.

It was over.

Mara stood frozen in confusion, breathing hard and feeling every muscle in her body aching with tension. Her hand was shaking, perilously holding onto the detonator’s death-man’s switch. She blinked, suddenly realizing what she had been just about to do… Steadying her hand with enormous effort, she set the switch off. Slowly she acknowledged that the place she was standing in was a different one. She looked down and noticed that her arm was in perfect shape, the ugly gash was gone as did the strings of blood, the shrapnel was gone from her body and her clothing was in perfect condition. The rubble, the dark metallic walls and the view of deep space were also gone… The dense vegetation was back and the place seemed as quiet and tranquil as when she had just come in.

It had only been a vision.

Mara felt as if she had just run a thousand miles. She took a few moments to recover… It had felt so real…  As she calmed herself, she then began to understand what had just happened: she had confronted her own fears concerning her former Master…The burden of her past. She now realized how badly she had needed that closure.

Calling her weapons back to her hand, she got ready to leave that dreadful place.

“Time to head back, I guess.” She spoke out loud, the echoing of her own voice bringing assuredness back to her. She back tracked trying to find the way out. She then thought of Luke… of how it had been for him to face the Emperor of flesh and blood with barely a couple of months training… Now she respected the Jedi Master even more.

‘ _Mara…_ ’ She could feel Luke’s mind touch.

‘ _I’m coming out_.’ She sent back.

 

oOo

 

Luke stood by the entrance of the tunnel, making an extreme effort to cultivate his Jedi patience –a virtue he had practiced his whole Jedi years and being barely successful. He wasn’t as reckless or impulsive as he used to be –if that were the case, he would have just run into the tunnel and grabbed Mara away from there. But still those features remained as a part of his character, and it seemed it was going to be like that for the rest of his life. With the years he had become wiser, and he had learned to just acknowledge his flaws, filter them and to not let them take control of him. Yes, some parts of oneself could just not be smothered and ignored, you had to mind them, or they would turn on you with time… just like what had happened to his Father.

And just now, he had experienced the dreadful desperation of being on the brink of losing the dearest thing for him. Following Mara through the Force during the whole trial, just in time he had detected Mara’s last intention’s and had immediately set himself to work. Focusing his full usage of the Force onto the detonator, just enough to hold on to the death man’s switch in case Mara dropped the gadget.

Spotting her coming out of that tunnel was a tranquilizing sight. The Jedi Master walked towards Mara and welcomed her in his arms, holding her tight against him and feeling a rare mixture of relief and proud happiness. When feeling Luke’s warm embrace, something inside Mara just crumbled… and the well held back tears started to roll down her face. She hid her face on Luke’s chest, too proud to let the others see her crying. Luke realized what was going on with her and held her even tighter, sinking his face in her hair. He felt her silently cry. Those tears were cleansing drops out of her soul: tears of relief, happiness, sadness, and a mix of everything she had kept to herself for a long, long time. Luke felt honored to be allowed to first see that side of her.

As strange as it was, Mara did not feel ashamed. Allowing Luke seeing her in such state only helped her to strengthen their bond. She then realized that with him, she could allow herself any weakness.

When he let go of her, Mara was back to her usual coolness.

‘ _Are you all right?_ ’ The question in his eyes.

‘ _Now I am._ ’ She nodded.

They both walked towards the other two Jedi who were waiting a few meters farther. Gesturing to her with his hand, Luke asked Mara to stay back while he approached the others.

He reached the two men, unable to hide the pride showing on his face. With a significant look, the two Jedi Masters nodded, showing their approval. Luke then turned to Mara -the other two Jedi taking place one on each of his sides.

“Step forward, Padawan.” He commanded Mara in a solemn manner. She did so.

Putting his right hand on her left shoulder he pronounced.

“By the right of the Academy and by the will of the Force, I dub thee, Jedi Knight of the New Order. You are now, a wielder of the Force.” A soft, proud smile showed on Luke’s lips. “Take up your lightsaber, Mara Jade, Jedi Knight. And may the Force aid you and guide you in your lifetime journey.”

And this was it. After years of being after her, trying to persuade her to train on the ways of the Force… it was finally accomplished.

Kyp and Streen approached Mara and congratulated her.

“Well done, Mara.” Streen praised.

“It took you a long time, Mara… but you finally made it.” Kyp addressed his former class-mate. “Just how it was meant to be.”

They both stepped aside and started their way back to the Academy. Luke then took a few moments to hide the entrance to the tunnel back under the White Current and then followed his fellow Jedi with Mara at his side.

They walked in silence, enjoying the simplicity and the meaningfulness of the moment. Luke could sense Mara’s mixed emotions: she felt happy, proud of herself, relieved… and also mournful, like if a part of her life had just stayed behind in the tunnel. He didn’t say anything, giving Mara her own time to process all of her feelings, if she had something to say… she’d say it whenever she felt ready.

Mara broke the silence.

“Luke, tell me something… Back in the tunnel, if I had found myself in deep trouble… not being able to overcome the test… and of really hurting myself with that detonator… Would you have come after me?”

“Of course I would have, Mara. What kind of question is that?” He simply answered.

“Even if that meant breaking the rules?” She asked in disbelief.

Gently grabbing her by the arm he made her stop. “Even so.” And then kissed her tenderly on the lips. As a matter of fact, he had broken the rules already, by the simple act of accepting his true feelings for her.

When they parted, Mara smiled with a mix of happiness, relief and selfish pleasure. Did she mean that much to him? Yes she did, was Luke’s silent answer.

“I will always, always come after you, Mara.” Luke vehemently told her. “Besides, it’s not like a new habit of mine… it’s been like that since we met, hasn’t it?” Luke playfully added, trying to lighten up the conversation. She already had had enough stress for the day and he just wanted her to relax a little.

“Yeah.” Mara answered, and picking up the tone she added “I guess I’m not gonna be able to get rid of you easily.” She joked while resuming her walk.

“You can bet.” He called and walked behind her. “Well, you also have come after me every time I have needed you… So I guess we both have a soft spot for one another. Even if you didn’t want to admit it before.” He stressed while joining her side.

Mara chuckled. “And now that we’ll be spending more time together, those situations will increase, won’t they?”

Luke nodded

“Then I guess we’re gonna have to start keeping record, _Farmboy_.” She confirmed.

“Are you challenging me, Miss Jade?” They really could not help their competitive natures.

“Haven’t I always?” She turned to him with a prankish sparkle in her eyes.

Luke chuckled and gave her a broad smile.

Yes, she had always been quite a challenge… A challenge worth taking.

That night during supper Luke gave the announcement of Mara’s success while completing all of the trials and by doing so achieving the rank of Jedi Knight. He had never liked pompous ceremonies and he always tried to keep things at its simplest whenever possible. Mara seemed to be glad about his casual approach, so it worked out just fine.

At the end of the meal, students and teachers approached Mara to congratulate her and wish her luck in her knighthood. She found herself surrounded by Jedi and Jedi-to-be, a sight Luke found of much amusement, knowing just how much Mara hated public demonstrations. She was doing pretty well so far.

Feeling Luke’s gaze Mara leveled her sight and looked in his direction. He was just standing there, completely enjoying the scene. He looked so content and happy… She wished to see him like that for the rest of their days together. Yes, this man had changed her… saved her from living a life without meaning. She gave him a loving look.

Across the room, he smiled back.

Today Mara had overcome her ultimate fears, and in a way had come to terms with her past. She could feel new channels of the Force opening up to her, new links of awareness unfolding to her senses.

Now she was a Jedi Knight on her own right.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

Coruscant was the big metropolis of the galaxy. From outer space, the planet just looked like a big ball of durasteel and lights. It was the largest political and entrepreneurial centre in the system. It had been the ruling core of the Empire, and now it held the headquarters of the New Republic Government.

Luke watched the busy sight while he sat in the pilot’s seat of the Jade’s Fire. Mara had asked him to fly her precious spacecraft all the way from Yavin, which for Luke meant one of two things: she had finally admitted that she trusted him as the skilled pilot he was to allow him to put his hands on the helm, or else she wasn’t feeling up to the task of flying. He was inclined to believe it was the later. She did love flying her own ship -which she had had modified to her own personal preferences, but for some reason she had preferred to be the passenger this time. Mara had been not herself the past few days, she’d been too quiet, taciturn, and was not fighting Luke back over the little stuff, which was a big thing. Something was really bothering her, he had sensed certain sadness lingering in Mara. Luke had been trying to find the right moment to ask her about it, a moment he hadn’t found yet.

The assignation of their landing platform was taking longer than expected and they had been orbiting the planet for a couple of hours already. Luke talked to the Veeone unit -who was very protective of his Mistress’ ship and had started to trust the substitute pilot now. The Jedi gave some instructions and asked for some readings, the droid performed the task diligently.

Artoo Deetoo had also come with them on this trip, but he had stayed in the cargo hold powering up during the whole trip, along with Luke’s X-Wing Fighter. Of course he was on vacation, but you never knew when a galactic crisis could arise. It seemed like the astromech droid and the Veeone unit had a hard time getting along, so Luke had decided to keep them away from one another. Artoo had always had a ‘mind’ –if such term could be used on a droid, of his own. So he made it very clear to the little droid that he had to obey his orders this time.

They had left Yavin IV the very next day of Mara’s ordering, just as Luke had promised. The hyper jump from the jungle planet to Coruscant was a four-day trip, when traveling in a fast ship as the Fire. They had arrived on time as predicted, but from the looks of it, it was going to take a bit longer before they could touch ground. The Veeone unit could take care of everything until then, so there was some time to spare.

Luke headed to the common area of the ship where he had sensed Mara’s presence. He spotted her sitting at the table in the common area of the ship, lost in her thoughts.

“We have to wait our turn to touch ground. They’re experiencing more traffic than usual.” He casually spoke while entering. Mara was lost in her thoughts and didn’t notice him coming in. “Mara?” he called.

“Mmmm?” She turned her head.

“Are you all right?” Luke asked concerned.

“Of course, I’m all right.” Mara answered sharply, shaking her thoughts away.

She had gotten on the offensive, which always meant she was trying to hide behind her barriers of toughness. Now Luke could tell that there was something really going on.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked taking a seat next to her, trying to sound as casual as he could, so she wouldn’t feel like if he was prying.

She gently shook her head “May be some other time… not now.”

“You know I’m here for you…. When you’re ready.” He offered.

“Yes, I know.”  She paused for a few seconds, looking down at the table. Mara turned to Luke, the words in her eyes but her mouth being unable to pronounce them.

Luke looked back at her, expectantly.

She looked straight into his eyes, seeing his concern, his acceptance… Perhaps now was as good time as any.

“I cared about him…” She confessed “As sick as it sounds, I did care about him.”

Luke knew who she was referring to: the late Emperor.

“And does that make you feel guilty?” Luke probed.

“It makes me feel disgusted!” She said with frustration in her voice. She felt hurt, disappointed.

Luke nodded; he could sense the mixed emotions that dwelled in her. “Mara, I don’t pretend to say that I understand what kind of relationship you and he shared, but… I do believe that in his own way, he saw you as a daughter.” He carefully said.

“In his own twisted, sick way…” Mara snorted and paused for a moment. “And in return, in my own twisted, sick way… He felt like the closest thing to a father to me.” She admitted, a tint of sadness and longing hanging in her voice. “Just listen to the irony in that!” She angrily said while slapping her hand on the table. “After all I know about him, about all the wrong he did… Is it all right that a part of me still misses him?” She asked Luke, like pleading for forgiveness.

“It’s only natural.” He answered trying to ease her frustration.

“I know he did terrible, horrible things… And that I endorsed many of them. I was so blinded by my duty and devotion towards him that I couldn’t make out the difference! And I’ve been mad at him for that! Still I am!” She paused for a moment, giving her emotions some time to settle down. “And along with all the anger I also feel like and ingrate… Because in that twisted way of his… He was good to me.” She gravely finished.

“I know.” He told her softly.

Luke took Mara’s hand and squeezed it gently. He wanted her to understand that he didn’t judge her or was trying to evaluate her. He just knew she was experiencing the side effects of confronting ones fears and frustrations, something you had to do to become a real Jedi. Oh, yes! He knew it all too well. Mara’s ordering was not just about her achieving a goal, but also about her coming to terms with her past. It was her own closure with the remnants of her Imperial life.

Mara just smiled back at him. A tight smile, but a smile nevertheless.

That was all Luke needed from her.

A soft beeping called from one of the consoles in the common room and the flashing light gave Luke all the information he needed. They were coming out of orbit.

“It seems we’ve gotten our clearance.” Luke announced, “Get ready.”

Mara nodded, and followed the Jedi with her eyes as he left the room. Suddenly everything simply felt better. She could sense the warmth of his acceptance. Reflexively she set one of her hands on her chest, feeling the rhythmic beating of her heart. A heart so much used to feel anger and contempt, and that now was experiencing a kaleidoscope of emotions she had been so afraid of letting in. Yes, her universe was a better place with Luke in it.

After getting their clearance, landing the Fire was just like any other routine landing Luke had performed before. Once on the ground he proceeded to turn all the systems down and get Artoo out of the cargo hold -he’d take care of the X-Wing later.

Artoo chirped and beeped in content while he followed Luke through the Fire’s aisles. They came across the Veeone unit who was obediently standing by the exit door of the ship and Luke could almost swear that Artoo’s beeping had suddenly changed from one of content and excitement to one filled with mockery and sarcasm towards the other droid. Knowing Artoo, probably he was making fun of his counterpart for not being allowed to get off the ship. Luke chuckled at the thought; Artoo was really quite a character, and because of this he had chosen to not give him any memory wipes as the years had gone by.

The little droid wasn’t gonna go too far anyways; it had to stay in the hangar area to run all the prep sequences for Luke’s fighter. Artoo was the only droid capable of coupling with the X-Wing’s navicomputer –this due to the lack of memory wipes for the astromech unit and also for safety measures, so no one else could tinker with the ship.

“Don’t let R2 get close to my Veeone unit or he’ll go on strike on me.” Mara told Luke, as she brushed past him, half joking and half being serious about it. “It might achieve to imprint some little ideas in the Veeone’s memory core.” She remarked while grabbing her bags and heading to the exit ramp first.

Luke shook his head in amusement at her remark, as he grabbed his own luggage and followed Mara. Yes, Artoo was some sort of a little rebel, perhaps he was the personification of the spirit of the Rebel Alliance: determined and feisty, a little out of place at times, but enormously committed and true to its own beliefs.

A flash back of those times came to his mind. The running around, the heat of battle, the ideals he fought for, old friends –some already gone… He thought back, as he felt a bit of nostalgia… Perhaps –like Mara, he even missed a part of that old life himself. He walked down the ramp, feeling the little droid roll behind his footsteps.

 

oOo

 

Luke and Mara were riding the turbo lift that would take them to one of the higher floors in the building. It had taken them a good standard hour to make it from the landing platform to here. Coming out of the lift they walked a few doors down the aisle and stood in front of a large, nicely polished durasteel door. Luke set his hand on the side panel and the door slid open. He then nodded with his hand to Mara, inviting her to step in.

Luke walked behind, dropped his bags by the door and turned to hit the main control panel to activate the environmental systems in his apartment. The light came in, revealing the lavish interiors. The placed looked cosmopolitan and trendy, and maybe a bit too flashy for Luke’s taste, but very nice indeed. It looked a lot different from the sobriety of his apartment back in Yavin.

“This is nice!” Mara noted, “I never had the chance to visit you here in Coruscant before. Who did the furnishing?” She knew Luke would have never chosen such designs in furniture, knowing how much he disliked non-simple things.

“Leia did.” He shrugged, feeling a bit embarrassed. He was after all, a farm boy from Tatooine at heart.

“Besides having great taste, your sister seems to really take care of you.” She added as she paced the place.

“She does.” Luke sweetly whispered while noticing a fresh flower bouquet in a beautiful vase placed in the living room and a bowl full of fresh fruit set on the bar that separated the dining area from the kitchen.

Leia had always taken good care of him, even back when they were a bunch of rebel fighters of the Alliance and they didn’t even know they were related. No matter how busy of a woman she was, she always found time for him. He had always wondered how she managed to do so much in the time span of a regular busy day of hers. Probably she had sent Threepeo to do the cleaning and get everything ready for his arrival. And knowing Leia, the refrigeration unit should be full of the Force knew what by now.

“It’s not as flashy or big as Han and Leia’s place…” He called out loud to Mara who was inspecting the place –mere curiosity or a die-hard habit of scrutinize every place she found herself in, Luke couldn’t tell which. “…But still I think is just too much for me.” He added, “I’m never here! When I’m in Coruscant all I do is to go from one meeting to another, visit Han and Leia, dine out and only crash here at night. I rarely use this apartment, I think a hotel room would do just as good. But Leia insists that for political and diplomatic reasons I have to have some presence in the capital planet.”

“And a permanent residence surely gives you that. Besides you can afford it.” Mara stated while admiring a beautiful Sullustan painting on one of the walls. She turned to him, “You should also see the bright point about it, you get to have some privacy when you’re on planet.” She smirked.

‘ _Privacy_ ’, he liked the sound of that word coming out Mara’s mouth… He thought of all the things they could do in private… But not now, they were running late, and Leia and Han were waiting.

Coming back to reality, he wondered for how long their privacy was gonna last, once all the media in the Holo Net got to know about their relationship. It was going to unleash havoc! The Jedi Master and the former Emperor’s Hand… He could almost see Fey’lya’s face when hearing the news! That was going to be something worth to be seen. Han was certainly gonna get a kick out of that! He chuckled at the thought. Luke was used to all the attention by now, and had learned to not mind all the gossip, but Mara… one more thing she was gonna have to learn to deal with. It really seemed to him that he was the one who was getting more out of this deal. He should ask Mara about her thoughts on this matter sometime.

“We’re running late, so we should hurry.” He told the pacing red-head. “You just go ahead and settle down. I’ll call Leia and let her know that we’ll be at her place shortly.”

 ‘ _Luke’s family..._ ’ Mara thought to herself while remembering the reason why they were in this planet. Family… that was such an alien term for her. ‘ _Well, one more thing that comes along with pairing up with Skywalker I guess._ ’

Settling herself in the bed chamber Mara undid her bags, carefully sorting out the outfits she had brought with her… The burgundy one that went well with her hair, the dark green that enhanced the color of her eyes, and the black one piece that fitted her like a glove… ‘ _What?_ ’ She stopped abruptly when realizing what she was doing. It did not matter at all how she looked, she wasn’t here to please anybody!

Furiously grabbing the first piece of clothing at her reach, she stormed into the fresher.

 

oOo

 

 The speeder cab swiftly traveled among the rivers of vehicles that transited the traffic lines. The city was as busy as Mara remembered, full of technology and alien life. She had lived here once, a long, long time ago; but that was in the past. The ride was a quiet one. She could sense Luke’s excitement and eagerness building up inside of him, although his features remained as relaxed as usual. If the Jedi cared about everybody and everything in the Galaxy, she could imagine just how much he cared for his family, his friends… for her.

A tiny grin appeared on Mara’s face as she looked out the window, and she then immersed herself back into her contemplation of the city.

The active sight slowly turned into a quieter and less transited one -they we’re heading towards the mountains, Mara noted. So, the Solo’s lived in the rich part of the planet city. Well that was expected, being a Princess and the Chief of State, Organa-Solo could afford anything –not to mention her husband’s position as a General and perhaps some profit from his smuggling years he had stacked somewhere. In the end, he hadn’t paid to Jabba the Hutt, had he?

As they continued she noted the change in architecture of the buildings and residences that lay along the way. Large and sumptuous constructions, all of them fitted to their owners’ pocket and personal taste. On this part of the city there were wide sidewalks for pedestrians, with sets of trees and vegetation nicely arranged along the sides.

They reached a large silvery gate, which opened automatically when the sensors registered the vehicle. A huge, beautifully well-kept garden was the fore view of a lavish residence in the back.

Mara gave a quick look at the building. Fancy… she could handle fancy, she could handle rich, she could handle Organa… even Solo! As a matter of fact, she could handle anything. She had handled Galactic crises for the Force’s sake! The speeder stopped. ‘ _So, this is it._ ’ Mara thought. She wondered what was waiting behind those doors. Bracing herself she took a deep breath, witnessing family reunions was not something she looked forward to, even less being part of one.

Luke helped Mara out of the speeder cab and, without letting her hand go, together headed towards the main entrance.

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

The soft wind played with the tender leafs in the trees, whispering a quiet summer chant. The late afternoon sun light touched the high trees and low bushes surrounding the area, highlighting the different shades of greens. It had been a beautiful day.

Councilor Organa-Solo had taken a day off her busy schedule. She spent the day sitting in the back terrace of her own garden and had enjoyed an outside lunch and time with her family. She now relaxed while watching her children play with Timo -that stray pettin Jacen had found one rainy day on Coruscant’s streets and had managed to smug inside the house. The little animal had a story of his own. When they first found him the poor thing had been in very bad condition and in the brink of death. Jacen felt extreme compassion for the frightened animal and -backed up by his uncle, had achieved to convince her to let him keep it. Using his special abilities, the boy had helped the pettin recover his health and become a happy and loyal pet to the three children.

Three Jedi children… hers and Han’s huge responsibility.

At least she knew she counted on Master Skywalker for advice on this matter.

Today a special warmth filled the Princess’ heart: her brother was coming. It had been a long time since they last had a chance to see each other in person. It seemed like they only lived their lives solving one crisis after the other. And with Luke as head of the Jedi Praexeum for the past several years, he had time for too little distractions.

As Chief of State of the New Republic Government, she was a very busy woman herself. Leia sometimes wondered if this was what she had really wanted when she started supporting the Rebel Alliance cause all those years ago… Well, her life had turned out all right after all. She had a job she loved –and stood for a cause she still believed in, she was happily married to the man of her life and had three wonderful children. She could not ask more from life… Perhaps just one more thing: seeing her brother happily settled.

Luke’s loneliness had always troubled her. Every time she brought up the subject, he always reassured her that everything was all right in his life, that he had everything he wanted. But Leia knew, that deep inside, Luke longed for someone to love. Callista’s departure had left him deeply scarred, and although Luke tended to trust everyone, Leia was afraid he would not be able to trust his heart to any other woman ever again.

So, the news about her brother’s new relationship had given her some relief. Luke seemed incredibly happy, she had noticed a special glow in his features the last couple of times she had had a holo conference with him. All this years he’d been taking care of too many sentient beings and, although he didn’t demand it, now it was his turn to have some care provided.

Still, something worried Leia and it was directly related to his brother’s choice. She liked Mara, all right -over the years she had proved to be a skilled and trust worthy ally, but she didn’t strike her like the kind of woman who would cuddle her brother’s heart the way she thought it needed to be… Well, may be what she though Luke needed wasn’t exact reality. Would the former Emperor’s Hand nourish the Jedi’s need for love? Or would she just ruthlessly break his heart? She better not, or she would personally hunt her down –ex-assassin or not. Mara Jade didn’t intimidate her, even less in matters concerning her family.

 ‘ _Leia, just calm down, would you? You’re acting like a complete paranoid moron._ ’ The Princess scolded herself. ‘ _Everything is going to be all right, Luke always makes the right choices…_ ’ She winced, ‘… _except when women are involved…_ ’ She worried herself once more. She didn’t want to see Luke suffering from a broken heart again.

Leia had always cared for Luke, way before she even knew he was her brother. He had always felt like a brother to her anyways, so knowing that they were biologically related hadn’t been that much of a shock. The shock had come with knowing who their progenitor was. She’d had a hard time accepting the truth and then forgiving the Dark Lord of the Sith. Leia doubted that she had forgiven him completely by now, or that she ever would. She simply refused to believe that the same blood ran through her veins.

She had had contact with Vader while attending official events in Palpatine’s court, the dark figure always standing aside his Master. That sight had always terrified her. His vileness and treacherous ways to accomplish the Emperor’s will were very well known throughout the Galaxy; and picturing herself as the daughter of such abomination was completely revolting. The off-spring of that half-man… So much different to whom she considered her real father, the noble and wise Bail Organa.

It was also hard to picture Luke as the son of Darth Vader. She could just not relate one single aspect of Luke’s personality to the Sith Lord… Perhaps he had been a different man once. She didn’t know much about Vader’s past, and she didn’t care. On the contrary, Luke had always dwelled on knowing the truth about their parents’ past, a matter she did not find of much importance. She could understand Luke’s need though, while growing up she had had a set of loving parents, Luke hadn’t. Probably he simply missed that part of his life very much. Still, she could not understand the reaches of his heart, of his forgiveness.

Good old Luke. He was able of forgiving anything to anybody. Since the very day he broke into her cell on the first Death Star to rescue her, she had started to trust him completely. Leia smiled and chuckled at the memory. That was Luke’s nature, he inspired trust and security in other people. And perhaps this was exactly what drew Mara to him.

Mara Jade… the Hand of the Emperor… The Empire had brought a lot of suffering to the Galaxy, and although it was gone now Leia could not help but to think about its connection to the green-eyed woman. In a way, this was what scared her about Mara, the ties to her past; her connection to what she had abhorred the most.

A woman whose destiny had been imposed on her and a man whose destiny had been written before time. The woman who had left everything behind and was looking for her place in the new order of the Galaxy, and the man who had to live with his responsibility towards it and with the huge burden of his legacy. Two souls looking for some peace and comfort in their restless lives… Perhaps they were perfect for each other after all.

She heard the soft beeping of the front door’s bell. She knew Threepeo would answer the door almost immediately, but she wanted to be the first to welcome her brother.

Leia called out her children, announcing their uncle’s arrival. She then rushed to the entrance door, a tingly excitement washing over her heart.

 

oOo

 

The residence’s door slid open revealing a blond male and a redheaded female. The droid’s photoreceptors immediately registered and authenticated the identity of the two humans who had just arrived.

“Oh, Master Luke! What a pleasure is to see you again!” Threepeo greeted in his formal, prissy, protocol droid voice “And welcome to you too Mistress Mara. Please, do come in.”

Leia huffed from behind the golden droid, then stepped around him.

“Hey there!” Luke softly greeted his sister, opening his arms to hold her.

“Welcome brother!” Leia hugged Luke with sisterly affection, then turned to the redheaded and nodded “Welcome to our home, Mara.” She stepped back to clear the way “The children are dying to see you. They’ve been asking about your coming like ten times already!”

Three whirlwinds broke into the entrance hall at full speed and crashed against their uncle, almost running him over. All the training in Mara’s life would have never prepared her to deal with such rambunctious children.

“Greet Mara, kids. You remember her, right?” Luke urged his nice and nephews. “These are Jacen and Jaina, and the blond little devil hanging on my back is Anakin.” He finished while bending over and grabbing the little kid, setting him aside his brother and sister.

Straightening up they all greeted the newcomer with little hi’s.

“Hi.” A fidgeting and visibly uncomfortable Mara greeted back. Sith, this was so cloying she thought she was gonna have a sugar over dose.

A strange awkward silence enveloped the scene while the kids stared at Mara looking at her up and down, studying her, appraising their uncle’s new lady. Luke flipped his eyes first to Mara, then to his sister and then to the children standing in front of them.

“Is she the one who wanted to kill my uncle?” Jacen whispered towards his sister.

Jaina nodded in affirmation and then added. “But she’s not going to do anything to him anymore, because she loves him now.” Jaina whispered towards her brothers.

Both boys nodded with understanding. The adults simply watched the scene, half horrified, half amused.

In a burst of excitement, Anakin grabbed Mara’s hand, “Do you want to see my spacecraft collection, aunt Mara?” He told the bewildered red-head, dragging her with him.

The little boy leaded the ex-assassin by the hand towards his bedroom, with the other two children following in wild expectation.

“What exactly did you tell them Leia?” Luke suspiciously asked his sister as he followed her to the kitchen.

“Oh, nothing…” She evaded while picking up some glasses, “…You know how perceptive children can be… specially Force sensitive ones.”

“Have they been listening to their Father’s conversations lately?” Luke sarcastically inquired.

Speaking of the devil…

“How’ya doing Kid? And where’s the lady?” the Corellian greeted his friend.

“It seems like Anakin and the twins have just kidnapped her.” Luke joked.

“Kidnappin’, eh? Runs in the family, I guess.”

“Hey, at least, they can’t crash any ship right now…” Luke shot back, ducking a swipe from Han.

“Just so you know, we had a very pleasant time on Dathomir.” Han smirked, drawing his arm around Leia’s waist, wiggling his eyebrows lecherously.

“Before or after you met Getherion?” Luke drawled, while Leia giggled.

“Hey!” Han huffed, annoyed at the Skywalker twins.

“I just hope we have better luck when negotiating the terms of release this time.” Luke continued to banter his friend.

Leia couldn’t help but to giggle even more. “I’ll go and get Mara. Why you don’t just go ahead and sit in the den? We’ll be right with you.” Leia offered while trying to give a little break to her already annoyed husband, just a little.

Both men followed Leia with their eyes until they lost sight of her. A smirk of satisfaction appeared on the General’s face, “The negotiation process will be over in no time.” Han winked to the younger man, “And guess who’s gonna win!”

Luke sometimes thought that his sister had four children in the house instead of three. But the thing with Han was that he knew when to drop his self-worshipping act and become the resourceful and brave man he knew as his best friend. Leia could not have been in better hands, or better taken care of.

“It’s good to see ya again, Kid.” Han patted his friend on the back.

“It’s good to see you too.” Luke smiled back.

Leia and Mara came back shortly after, followed by the charged-up children. They all headed to the dining area, where a late supper was already fixed.

Han took the head sit at the table, his wife sitting across from him at the far end. Luke and Mara sat to his left, and the kids sat across from their uncle and their brand new almost-aunt.

See Threepeo brought the first course and the meal began. Leia led the first lines of conversation, just as the good diplomat she was, and started asking Luke about matters back in the Academy and such, and to Mara about her matters in Talon Karrde’s organization.

The children had followed the adults’ conversation with little attention – they were more interested in studying the beautiful redheaded sitting across from them. They had seen Mara before, but never this close. There was something about her that had them bewitched. Perhaps it all had to do with her new relation to their uncle.

“I think a like her better than Callie.” Anakin told his sister, as he compared Mara to his uncle’s last girlfriend.

“And I think she’s prettier.” Jaina giggled, “I like the color of her hair.”

“I think Callista was rather dull.” Jacen added to the verdict, using big words as the intellectual of the group that he was.

The adult conversation suddenly stopped. They all turned to look at the three children sitting at the table. Luke kept on recovering from almost choking to death with his drink and Leia had taken control of the almost-dropped-platter she had intended to pass to Mara. A mischievous grin appeared on Mara’s lips, she could not hide the pleasure she found in the children’s words. Han was simply delighted with the whole scene.

“Children!” Leia warned and stared at her children, meaning serious business. They should quit talking about Callista or there would be trouble… The kids understood their mother’s threatening look to perfection. They straightened up in their seats and kept quiet.

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about Callista anymore, Mara.” Han casually filled into the silence.

“Why would I have to be worried about a body-snatcher?” Mara said sipping her water and giving a polite smile to the Corellian.

Ouch! That had hurt, Luke winced. He didn’t like Mara talking about Callista that way, but he knew how much she disliked the former Jedi of the Old, and how much Callista had disliked the ex-Emperor’s Hand. Those two women rose sparks and thunder whenever they were together, he had always felt on the hot spot when these two happened to meet somewhere. Yes, it had been hard to deal with that, especially with Callista’s jealousy towards Mara, something Luke had found very hard to understand. Now he knew better. That sizzling attraction between him and the beautiful green-eyed trader had always been there, even when neither he, nor Mara realized it.

“You’re absolutely right. No one can compete against such a successful trader as yourself.” Han blandished at her, then he continued, “And talking about trade, perhaps you could fill me in with how many posts your organization has settled along the Perlemian Trade Route. I might want to hire some of your services to help with some military supply shortages we’re having. And I’m talking legal, of course.” He winked.

“I have no authority over that, maybe you should talk to Karrde about it.” Mara reluctantly explained, “Besides, I’m on vacation right now.” She stressed.

“Oh, yes! That’s right. Let me tell you something, in the almost twenty years I have known this Kid I never knew of him taking a holiday, unless you forced him into it. So, I must deduct that either you put a blaster to his head or you’re doing a hell of a good job with him already!” The Corellian suggested.

“Well, I’m not a thing that has to be worked on.” Luke protested, feeling heavy bombarded while sitting in between Han and Mara, who were actually ignoring his protests.

“A blaster?” Mara said in amusement. “Well, I did that once if I recall correctly and I don’t like to repeat my methods too often, it doesn’t add up to the surprise factor.”

“So, what did you use this time, Mara? Feminine persuasion?” Han suggested with a mischievous wink, “That always works!”

“I don’t think that kind of persuasion works too well on a Jedi Master.” Mara dryly answered.

“Well, yeah.” Han conceded, now it was his turn to banter his friend a little. “That much righteousness can get boring at times.”

“Could we talk about someone else here?” Luke interrupted feeling annoyed already.

“Sure, Kid.” Han casually agreed and changing the subject he added, “And tell me Mara, have you seen Lando lately? He’s gotten quite a business running here in Coruscant, maybe you both should pay him a visit while you’re on planet.”  He slyly smiled at the pestered trader.

Mara glared at the Corellian, she wished she could use her lightsaber right there at that very moment. ‘ _Son of a Sith…_ ’ She could perfectly read the ill intentions behind his polite façade. ‘ _Anger leads to the dark side Jade, remember?_ ’ She reminded herself, and then faked a collected and unconcerned attitude. Solo would always be Solo, and he really enjoyed being a pest.

Some years ago, Lando and she were running an undercover operation for Karrde, and for reasons that suited the negotiations they had pretended to be a loving couple. Han had once caught Mara in one of the gambler’s shirts while having a late night holo-conference. Since that day the Corellian had gotten the idea that she and Lando had had something to do in the romantic field -Well, at the time that was the point of the whole charade. Of course, Lando –as the good old smoothie he was, had come on to her repeatedly, but she had always kept him at bay and made it perfectly clear to him that she was not interested. Lando had to accept it and withdrew from the game. This was a bet he could not win.

During one of their ship runs to some place in the Galaxy, Mara had told Luke about this little story. Of course, she hadn’t had any special reason to give any sort of explanation to the Jedi -she had always been the sole owner of her private life, but perhaps a tiny part of her had wanted Luke to know that she wasn’t interested in any other man. Now it seemed it had been a wise decision. Knowing the _Farmboy_ –with all his honorable behavior, he would have ever felt at ease with the idea of dating a close friend’s former girlfriend.

Coming back to Solo and his out-of-place-comments -and to what he believed had happened between Lando and her, Mara felt annoyed. The real point here wasn’t her being worried about Luke getting jealous; the point was that Solo was being a jerk, and she wasn’t liking it. Han Solo was walking into dangerous ground, so he better cut it off.

“Well yes, we could do that.” Luke filled in, pretending not to have noticed Mara’s reaction and trying to let the conversation flow. “If he’s on planet I would certainly like to see him.”

Sitting across from Han, Leia glared vibroblades at her unconcerned husband. She wished she had the nerf-herder near.

“Mistress Leia, should I bring in the next course?” Threepeo called, snapping Leia out of the act of reminding herself why her children needed a father.

“Ummm… I think I’ll do it myself Threepeo.”

“But Mistress, I do have to remind you that it is my job to…”

“Thank you, Threepeo.” Leia snapped, interrupting and dismissing the outraged droid.

“Oh!... as you wish your highness.” The droid walked away, softly squeaking and mumbling something about his services not being properly appreciated.

Leia then turned to Han.

“Han, dear… Can you help me with the roast in the kitchen?” Leia stared at him and nodded towards the kitchen’s door. That was Leia’s we-need-to-talk stare, so he knew better.

“Uh… yes, sure…honey.” He sheepishly answered his wife.

When entering the kitchen followed by her husband, Leia turned around and grabbed him by the arm, pushing him against the refrigeration unit.

“What do you think you were doing in there?” Leia growled.

“Ummm… Trying to be friendly to the new comer?” Han innocently answered.

“No! All you’re doing is giving yourself a good time by putting Luke and Mara on the spot and this is not the right time to do that!” She accused.

Han dropped his shoulders in mock defeat, “The Kid knows I’m only joking… and Mara is playing along!” He explained wishing his wife would lighten up a little.

“Do you want Mara out of Luke’s life just because she cannot cope with her in-laws’ indiscretions?”

“Well, no…” he admitted.

“Besides, remember you shouldn’t cross an ex-Imperial Assassin.” Leia noted.

“That’s no-good idea, right?” he reconsidered.

“Never is.”

“And she can come after me…” Han stated. “After all, she does know how to dispatch a man nice and easy.” He added giving it some thought.

Leia nodded while arching her eyebrows. Han didn’t need to be Force sensitive to know what his wife meant when giving him that look.

“And if it’s not her… you’ll be the one coming after me.”

The Princess gave him one of her charming smiles.

“O.K., I got it!” Han said putting his hands up. “No more wicked remarks.”

Han a Leia returned with a beautiful roast that Leia –whit the help from Threepeo, had managed to prepare. The meal ended without any further incidents, as Han tried to follow his wife’s wise advice.

After dessert, Han and Luke were the first leaving the table, arguing that they had something to go over with in Han’s office -Leia knowing all too well that they simply wanted to spend some time alone doing some buddy talk. The three children soon left the table also, busying their minds into matters of their own. The good thing about children was that their interests swapped from one to the other in a matter of minutes.

So, it was herself and Mara left in the dining area.

Taking her drink Leia stood up and walked towards Mara. As she approached and took the spot Luke had just left vacant, Leia noticed Mara turning towards her, sitting deep back in her seat and casually crossing her legs and folding her arms on her chest, in a well concealed defensive position. All right… this was going to be tougher than she thought.

“Would you like another drink, Mara?” she offered.

“I’m good.” Was Mara’s negative.

Both women knew it was time to start doing some small talk, just as they used to do back in court.

Mara gave the first step. “It’s a nice place you’ve got here.” She managed to let out.

“Thanks. It’s been in my family for generations. My Father used it as his main quarters when he was away from Alderaan doing business here in Coruscant.” Leia elaborated, “Of course, it has undergone several remodeling, after the war and all that…”

Mara nodded and smiled tightly. “Coruscant has very nice weather most of the year, so a house like this is always a good choice.” She continued.

“It is… it is, indeed.” Leia answered.

Both women just looked at each other and smiled politely.

‘ _I suck at this! I’m not a diplomat!_ ’ Mara thought, this had to end.

“Lets’ cut the bantha crap Organa, I know you don’t approve of Luke’s relationship with me.” She simply put, “I’m sure you had someone different in mind for him.”

“Well, yes. You’re not exactly what I expected for a sister-in-law.” Leia conceded, using her calm diplomat voice, “But despite of what you might think, I’m really happy for my brother. And I’m the last person in the universe with a right to question his choices.”

The Princess’ answer did surprise the experienced trader. Mara looked at Leia with a wary eye; she would have never expected such words coming out of the Counselor’s mouth.

“Of course, I’m worried about how you’re going to treat my brother’s heart, after all he’s been through…” Leia confessed “… but I suppose you know that better than me, since you were the one who helped him out of the mud puddle his last girlfriend left him in.”

Organa was right on that one. Mara had been the only one able to reason with the stubborn, broken hearted Jedi. Mara remembered how she had found him, completely dejected and consumed by sadness. The very memory of it still made her heart ache. One more thing that added to her dislike of Callista.

The Councilor continued, “About my own personal preferences, it is true that I believe Luke needs someone with a ‘softer’ manner, something you definitely don’t have, since you’re a very strong-willed woman.” Leia added.

Mara’s eyes blazed for a millisecond, she never took criticism well. The Princess had to choose her words more carefully. Tonight, it seemed that everyone was up to the task of pinpointing their observations and delivering their own personal opinions about her. Making a huge effort to control herself she remained still.

“On the other hand,” Leia continued, “…I think no other type of woman would be able to deal with my brother’s position and responsibilities with the Galaxy.” She admitted.

Mara carefully looked at her.

“I cannot say I trust you just yet, but I do trust that you’ll take good care of him.” The Princess finished.

Mara studied the other woman. There was nothing she could detect that would let out a lie in her words. Leia was definitely telling the truth.

“The very first time we met, I openly told you I was going to kill your brother…” Mara told the Princess while remembering the whole scene, “… and since then we haven’t set that matter straight between us. Although I know that by now, you know that if I had really wanted to get rid of him I would have done so years ago or at least die trying. So my guess is that you don’t keep hurt feelings towards me concerning that matter.” The Councilor nodded, and Mara carefully continued, “We have been polite to each other over the years, but you have witnessed how close your brother and I have become. You mean a lot to Luke, you are a very important part of his life; for that reason I want us to get along.” Mara rolled her eyes and added, “I don’t know what I’m going to do about Solo, though… but I’ll give it my best shot.”

“That much you love him?” Leia inquired.

There was silence.

“Yes.” Mara finally declared with a defying, proud stance. Openly admitting her feelings towards Luke and not feeling embarrassed of their deepness for the first time in her life.

“I know the kind of woman you are, Mara. And I also know that once you offer your loyalty it is for keeps.” Leia gave her a warm smile. “My brother took you into his heart. Then you’re welcome into mine too.”

Reaching out, Leia gave Mara a warm hug. Mara reflexively stiffened. Not knowing exactly what to do, she awkwardly wrapped her fore arms around the other woman’s torso in an attempt of a hug.

When Leia let go, they both sat in silence. Mara really didn’t know what to do with herself after that awkward moment. This aspect of a woman to woman relationship was embarrassing and uncomfortable to her. One more thing that came in the _Farmboy_ ’s baggage.

“Scary, isn’t it?” the Princess said.

“What?” the Trader briskly asked.

“To let people come into your life.”

Unable to find something to say, Mara just gave Leia a half smile.

The Princess was right, so many people coming into her life at once was a pretty scary deed. Mara had always dreaded emotional closeness. It was simply the way she had been taught and trained. Emotional closeness got you killed in the battle field, and throughout her life this principle had been an ingrained survival mechanism. She’d had such a hard time accepting her feelings towards Luke, and now thinking about how it would be to start getting emotionally involved with other people… It really gave her the creeps!

In the meantime, the two men were having a hell of a time. They were both recovering after a burst of laughter caused by the story Han just told about what had happened to Hobbie and Janson a couple of weeks ago. Those two were always getting themselves into trouble, and always barely managed to avoid suspension.

As their conversation went on, Han felt compelled to pop the question that had been bothering him for a long time now. He knew he had to ask his friend about this matter. Solo had never been known for his subtlety, so he simply opened his mouth and let out the first thing that came to his mind.

“Luke, you haven’t spoken to Lando about Mara, haven’t you?”

“No.” Luke answered his friend, knowing to where this was leading already. “Should I?”

“Well, not really… Is none of his business, anyway.” The Corellian put matter-of-factly. Assuming that Luke already knew everything about the Mara-Lando subject he continued, “I really never understood why Mara got involved with him. She has always liked you, so why was she wasting her time with that old gambler?”

“Nothing happened between them, Han.” The Jedi soothed his friend.

“What do you mean?” Han sharply asked with a confused expression on his face.

“Just that: nothing happened. They were never in a relationship. It all was a screen act for an undercover mission.” Luke filled in.

“Why didn’t you say so before?” The ex-smuggler complained, feeling upset about being left out on the big secret.

“You never asked.”

“I didn’t, did I?” Han mumbled.

Luke shook his head in negative.

“Then there’s nothing to be worried about! Let’s drink to that!” the Corellian joyously declared.

They ended up joining the females in the den. The conversation there had taken a lighter tone, Leia and Mara had found a few topics of conversation about things they had in common. After that straight forward talk, the tension had decreased considerably. When finding Mara and his sister talking in a more relaxed manner, Luke felt relieved. After a few more laughs and a few too many drinks on Han’s part for Leia’s taste, the time to wrap up the family reunion came.

Leia and Han walked their guests to the door. Before leaving, Luke gave her sister a tight hug. He knew and appreciated all she was trying to do for him.

“Sorry for the miss happenings.” Leia whispered to him.

“It’s all right. We were all nervous.” He kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll call you, and thanks for everything.”

Leia stood in the door seeing Luke and Mara leave. Han stood behind her letting his hands rest on his wife’s shoulders.

“You know something Princess… I have a good feeling about this.”

 

oOo

 

It was summer on that part of the planet, and it was a warm starry night. Instead of taking a speeder cab back to his apartment, Luke and Mara decided to take a walk along the fancy area that surrounded the Solo’s residence and that overlooked the busy part of the city.

“Charming family the one you’ve got.” Mara sarcastically let out.

“Just give them a chance Mara, they mean no wrong.” Luke excused his family.

“I had met with them before one or two at a time, but never with the whole Solo clan together!” Mara growled. “And then add See Threepeo to that!”

Luke reprised the whole evening in his mind. His nice and nephews’ remarks about Callista, Han’s indiscretions, Threepeo’s annoying complaints… Actually, Leia was the only one who had really tried to make things work out.

“I don’t think that went too well, did it?” Luke asked Mara, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“What have you told them about me, Skywalker?” Mara inquired.

“Nothing in particular…” Luke winced when noticing the tone he had put in his words. While trying to sound casual and unworried about it, it had come out too unconcerned. He also noted that she was using his last name again. “Well, I mean… nothing bad.” He tried to fix his line.

“So, you brought Callista to their place….” She continued with certain harshness in her voice.

Luke shrugged, “You know I did, Mara.” He simply answered.

Mara knew everything about Callista, so she shouldn’t be surprised about him bringing his former girlfriend to his sister’s. He genuinely felt he didn’t have anything to explain in that matter. Luke didn’t want to fight over it, but he was not going to apologize for that.

Mara abruptly stopped in front of him and glared. Luke braced himself, ‘ _Here it comes._ ’

She gave him the hard look, holding it for a few moments. The glare soon lost its intensity and turned into a mischievous wink.

“Relax, _Farmboy_. It’s not like I’m going to make a scene here.” She mocked him. “Besides, little Anakin likes me better than her.” She finished with a joyful sparkle showing in her eyes.

Mara chuckled and walked away, leaving him frozen on the spot. Oh, Force! Just how much she enjoyed throwing him out of balance. The gullible farm boy turned Jedi.

Luke let out a breath he had been holding. She had gotten him again, as usual. She was just giving him a hard time… As usual! How funny! Luke slowly shook his head and managed a smile. He then continued his walk, following her.

Mara was standing in a look out and he soon joined her. It was a beautiful sight, the lights of the mega sized city shining in all of its glory.

“Anakin strikes me like the kind of boy you must have been when little, he’s even got the blue eyes and blond hair.” She took up the conversation.

“He does, doesn’t he?” Luke smiled while feeling proud of the comparison. “You know, they’re pretty good once you get to know them. Although you don’t think that way now, you might change your mind later.” He encouraged her.

“Well, don’t give yourself such a hard time over that. After all, I’m willing to take the whole package.” Mara told him, “You, with your family, your Jedi responsibilities, your whole charming farm boy background…” she teased.

“Even with all the fighting?” Luke inquired.

“Are you kidding me? That’s what makes it interesting!” Mara answered with her all too well-known sarcasm.

“Yeah, right…” Luke wasn’t too sure about that one. Mara had always had a slight tendency to win all of their arguments every time they fought and being on the losing team was not his favorite spot.

“Has it ever occurred to you that all that bickering, and quarreling might have something to do with all the steam that lay underneath?” She then wondered.

“Well, I am sure that’s what it was.” He told her convinced.

Taking her in his arms he kissed her warmly.

Opening her eyes, Mara made a confession. “If someone had ever told me that I would end up falling in love with you, I would have shot them death right on the spot.”

“That serious of an offense would it have been?” He asked playfully, still holding her close.

“Yeah.” She answered while thinking back and picturing it.

“Well, I’m glad nobody did suggest that.” Luke teased.

They gazed at the wonderful view in silence. Luke stood behind Mara, wrapping her with his arms, holding her close to him.

He never wanted to let go of her. His place was right there beside her. He had never felt this way before, this strong connection. Yes, he wanted Mara with him… for as long as he lived.

Luke cleared his throat. Bracing himself for what he was about to do.

“Would I be safe if I told you that I want you… to become my wife?” He whispered in her ear.

Mara blinked. Turning around she looked at Luke right in the eye, measuring his words.

She had never contemplated marriage as a happening in her life… Even less a family, children and all the things that were attached to this sort of commitment. She could picture Luke thinking about it, even expecting it to happen in his life, he had had a more normal up bringing than herself. She a wife… of a Jedi Master… That was some thought! Could she carry on such a task? Was it worth it? Looking into his blue eyes she could see all the truth about it, clearing all her doubts.

Luke Skywalker was worth anything.

He looked into her emerald eyes, seeing all the thoughts and questions that were going through her mind and heart. Luke rephrased his last words, trying to get her out of her shock.

“Mara… Marry me!”

“Yes.” was her answer.

 

oOo

_She was standing still and looking up to the sky, bathed by the sun beams shining down thought the openings on the tree dome; her red-gold hair sparkling where the light touched it. He had been here before, several times; and he kept coming back. He approached the spot where she was standing and stood next to her._

_The wind started to blow. Without warning a violent gust burst in and several startled creatures flew away from the trees, crying out a danger call. The light changed, the clouds ran wildly above their heads giving a dance of light and shadow all around. He knew what was coming next._

_She stepped back, moving away from him… he felt the earth shaking under their feet… noticed the opening cracks on the ground where he was standing… he saw the ground underneath Mara collapsing, trees and everything around sinking into a large hole -including Mara, leading her to a deep fall._

_Throwing himself forward, he reached out for her and grabbed her by the arm. He lay there holding her with all his strength as he felt the ground underneath him starting to collapse and crumble down._

‘This is repeating itself all over, but for some strange reason I don’t feel scared or anxious. I know this all too well already.’

_“Mara, I need your help here, give me your other hand!” He heard himself asking her in a firm confident tone of voice._

_Mara looked up and stared at him right in the eye. He looked into her eyes… “You have to let me go Luke. Where I’m going, you cannot follow.” She simply said._

_Luke tightened his grip. “I am not letting go of you, Mara Jade!” He challenged. “Not even if my life depends on it!” He could feel the weight of his own words. “Whatever comes we’ll face it, together! This is my choice and I am not afraid of what it may bring!” He declared._

_For a moment Mara blankly stared at him… then a tiny shine appeared in her eyes. She reached up with her other hand and grabbed Luke’s. He pulled her up to safety and held her tight in his arms._

Luke opened his eyes, realizing he was lying on his bed, with Mara peacefully sleeping at his side. It was still night; the moonlight lit the room with a silvery shade.

He stepped out of bed and turned around to set his eyes on Mara and watched her sleep. She had mentioned to him some days ago that she had been sleeping so much lately that she couldn’t recognize herself. He smiled to himself, they were both changing… in so many ways… Or perhaps they were just awakening parts of themselves that had been dormant… That sounded more like the truth about their relationship. It could be said that they brought out the best in each other.

He stepped outside the terrace and stood there, looking into the night. It was quiet and bright.

The dream had just come back, but it had resolved itself in a different way from the prior times… and somehow Luke knew, it was the last time he was going to dream it.

He had meditated on this disturbing and recurrent dream. A dream he now knew had been fueled by his own doubts and fears… and perhaps by Mara’s too. He had spent too much time hiding from his own feelings, fighting with himself to suppress them and building up inner walls of fear. Fear he was just too proud to acknowledge. Luke had finally understood that he could not hide anymore. He could not live his life paralyzed by fear, which meant he had to face his fears in every department: family, friends, relationships, galaxy crises, the Jedi, his own increasing power… What kind of a Jedi Master would he be if he were to hide behind preconceived fears and what ifs?

“ _Always in motion is the future,_ ” Master Yoda had said, so Luke couldn’t be sure of what the future would bring. After extensive meditation, now he knew that he could handle whatever the future had in store for him and he would deal with it when the time came.

Would he eventually fall to the dark side? Probably not. He’d been tempted by the dark side too many times already and he had prevailed. Of course, temptations would become more powerful and seductive as he became stronger in the Force, but he would be ready. Every single Jedi had the latent possibility of being seduced by the dark side along his or her path. It was a part of being an instrument of the Force.

He had also thought about his romantic attachments. Concerning Mara, he had just felt overwhelmed by the intensity and deepness of his feelings towards her. Yes, he loved her deeply… and of course it was scary. But he knew from the core of his heart and soul that she was his match. She could understand him in every way, and in return he knew her own struggles and deepest secrets. Who better than her to understand his own struggles and conflicts related to the Force?

Although they had both decided to stay together, they also had their own paths to follow. This was a huge lesson to learn. No matter how much he loved her, he had to let Mara make her own decisions and face her own destiny; he could not interfere. This didn’t mean that he would not do everything to protect her and keep her safe and unharmed.

According to the Old Order, Jedi weren’t allowed attachments. He clearly understood what attachments could do to sentient beings. Attachments could destroy you if you stubbornly held on to them, but attachments also brought good things into one’s life. He knew that out of personal experience. His deep bonds to his friends and family had saved him numerous times. These bonds had helped him to endure, to hold on to hope and to fight for what he believed to be right. These had kept him sane and true to himself.

Then attachments couldn’t be all bad, it was just a matter of learning when to let go. May be the Jedi of old times hadn’t realized that and had taken an all or nothing approach at the matter. But those were the old times, and this was the New Jedi Order. These times were different and then a new Jedi Code seemed the natural course of things. It just felt right in the flow of the Force.

The Force… that magnificent current of living energy.

Luke could clearly feel his intense connection with it. He could almost register every single current of life in the Universe. Stretching out, he could feel every single mind asleep or awake on the planet… He acutely felt the chill breeze on his skin… the cool tiles under his bare feet… the softness of his sleeping tunics… the air coming in and out of his lungs with every breath… the heart beats of his heart… He felt so much… alive!

His awareness was completely expanded. He was wholly attuned with the energy around him.

He had sensed her stir in bed and wake up to consciousness… felt her taking the few steps to join him, and now felt the pair of feminine warm arms wrapped around his waist. He turned around to find his beloved ex-Imperial Agent, former Emperor’s Hand, then Master Trader and new Jedi Knight holding him in her arms. All those facets of her life that had turned her into the extraordinary woman she was.

“I love you, Mara.” He said, velvet in his voice.

“And I love you, Jedi.” She told him with a softness all too new in her manner. A softness that pleased her somehow, something she never thought she carried inside.

He kissed her passionately, a kiss she returned with the same intensity. She cuddled against him, there wasn’t a better place for her than right there in his arms. There wasn’t a better thing for him to do than to hold her close to him, the most precious part of his life. And he had chosen to never let her go.

“Are you ready for what is coming?” Luke asked his future wife.

“I am ready.” Mara answered with all the conviction and sureness of her love for him.

Yes, they were both ready.

Luke knew there was still more to come, numerous challenges to face. But with Mara at his side, he would endure anything. Finally, for the first time in a long, long time he felt at peace with himself, and could also sense the same inner peace irradiating from her.

They had both faced their inner demons… and conquered.

 

 

**The End**

 

 


End file.
